The Taming of a Dark Overlord – Chapter II

by May 24, 2004Stories

A hand was promptly clapped over her mouth to silence her, but Ilmariel continued to rattle on. “Eumm mmm!!”

“It’s the truth!”

“Mmm umm muh?!”

“Because we did not think it would be safe for him to be wandering out in Middle Earth, I told you already.”

“Om mm mmmmeh!”

“You have to. You already agreed to be the counselor.”

“Hm meh?!” Ilmariel frowned, and Namo finally took his hand away.

“Because we are confident in your ability to handle the situation. You have done remarkably well with all your cases up to this point …even Feanor.”

At this, a questioning look entered Ilmariel’s face, mixing with the shock still written there (which made for a rather bizarre expression, really).

“You should have seen the last counselor that worked with Feanor; he had to get counseling himself.”

Ilmariel shook her head. “I don’t know if—“

“We want someone who will not fall into any of his little traps. Since you have said that the things people say have little effect on you, it seems that you will be good for the job.”

“Why does he need counseling in the first place?” Ilmariel asked, feeling rather ruffled. She was highly doubtful that this was something she wanted to be involved in, and quite irked with herself at the fact that she had already gotten tangled up in it.

“He needs counseling because he is evil!” Namo stated, as if the answer should have been obvious. “Do you think we are just going to let somebody with bad intentions for the populous of the world sit around in Mandos for the rest of eternity? It would be good to get him to a certain level of indifference, at least, rather than have him going around creating havoc and pestering all the people that are plenty disturbed already.”

“Can’t you just keep him locked up down here,” Ilmariel paused, glancing down the length of the corridor at the rows of empty cells, “where there isn’t anyone to bother?”

“Sadly, no.”

Ilmariel studied the Vala’s face thoughtfully, and there was silence for a moment. She was about to ask another question; however, her train of thought was quickly broken by a shout from inside the cell. Ilmariel turned to look at the door, and gave a startled yelp. She then stepped backwards, tripping over a crack in the floor and falling hard onto the ground.

“Graceful,” Namo commented. He glanced at the door, but did not react in nearly the same way. “Hm,” he said with a shrug, and then turned to help Ilmariel to her feet.

Ilmariel’s gaze was riveted to the door. The person within the cell, whom she still could not believe to be Sauron, was now standing against the bars, looking carefully out at the people in the hall. “WHAT HAPPENED?!?!” he shouted, obviously furious. He grabbed the bars and shook them violently. “What happened to my Eye?”

“It appears to be fine,” Namo replied calmly. “In fact, it seems that you now have two.”

“Oh… you!” Sauron said, as if just comprehending who Namo was. “YOU!!” He shoved his arms through the gaps between the bars, as if they could actually reach the Vala and do some harm to him.

“May I remind you that you do not actually have a body,” Namo said. “Simply because you are visible does not mean that you have a physical form.”

I have been disembodied enough to know that!” said Sauron, bitterly.

“Yes, I would hope that, after something like six times, you would have figured it out. However, since you do not seem to learn things easily, I wasn’t sure.”

Sauron glared at the Vala silently. Even if his eye… err… that is, eyes were no longer flaming, he still accomplished a pretty disarming look. Namo, however, held his ground easily, and the two became locked a rather uneventful staring contest.

…Ilmariel was beginning to be very bored. Suddenly, however, Namo turned back to her, saying to Sauron, “You blinked.”

Sauron gave a highly indignant huff, and Ilmariel could not help but look at him. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wide, as if he could not believe what Namo had just told him. “But… I never lose!” he said. Then, he flopped down on the floor and banged his head against the bars. “This day reeks.”

Namo closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head, seeming to have anticipated what happened next.

“My life is ruuuuuuuuuiiiiiiinnned!” Sauron moaned. “I don’t have any minions or thralls. That stupid midget with the foot hair problems destroyed my Ring! My cat probably DIED. And now I am stuck here, of all places! Why couldn’t I have just been completely annihilated, instead of being sent HERE?! WHY?!” He smacked his head against the bars to emphasize certain words; Ilmariel could not help but wince.

“Because you do not always get everything you want,” Namo said.

“Of course I don’t,” said Sauron. “I never get what I want.”

“Well, obviously,” said Namo, “most of the things you want are either a) incredibly evil, b) incredibly stupid, or c) both of the above.”

“It isn’t any wonder I didn’t stick with you guys; just look at how you treat people!”

Namo’s eyes narrowed a bit at this. “How do you expect me to treat you when you have had people eaten alive by wolves?”

Sauron smirked. “Heh… I had forgotten about that.”

Namo rolled his eyes. “Yes, well, Finrod hasn’t.”


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