The Adventure of Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato in Rivendell
Special thanks to Nienna, for giving me permission to use the VeggieTales Characters!
Disclaimer: Nothing here is originally mine! Not a single thing!
Note: Unless the title didn’t say enough, this is a completely pointless story about Larry and Bob, and their little adventure in Rivendell. Also, you can appreciate it more if you first watch the VeggieTales 30 minute movie, “Lyle, the Kindly Viking” first, especially the part where Larry and Bob sing “Look, Olaf!”
Larry hopped along the counter humming impatiently to himself, and sighed, for about the twentieth time that morning, “Patience is a virtue.” But it was so hard to be patient! It had been days since his favorite posting on TolkienOnline, “An Aussie in King Aragorn’s Court”.
“I have to find out who that old man is!” He chirped. “I can’t stand not knowing if he’s Saruman or Gandalf!”
“Laarry!” Bob grumbled, hopping out from behind the blender. “Are you talking to yourself?”
“Why, yeth!” Larry cried happily. “I’m on my way to see Cordy, to see if Lady Coralie has posted rethently!”
“Oh!” Bob said, brightening suddenly. “That reminds me. I need to read Lady Shinigami’s story too.” Bob started hopping alongside Larry as they made their way down the counter toward Cordy. “She should have a new one out by now. I really have been interested in who that mystery Elf is.” He chuckled to himself. “And Nienna Telrunya’s Frolijah! That’s the funniest story I ever heard! I love it! I laugh so hard I fall on the floor, every time! And I’m kind of interested in finding out what happens between Legolas and Lalaith-,”
“What?! Are you kidding?” Larry asked, his eyes widening in shock and loathing. In his absolute, disgust he took on an almost indiscernible lisp as he exclaimed, “Lalaith Elerrina’th thtory ith tho thtupid! It’th tho unoriginal. Legolath’th girlfriend goeth with the Fellowthhip. Bla bla bla.” Larry made a disgusted face. “Maketh me thick! Not to mention, that vithion thing thhe had lathted for five chapterth! I thought I wath going to die from boredom! But Lady Coralie hath a lovely thtory! I ethpethially like the Kookaburrath! Kookaburrath are thooo cool! And tho are echidnath and platyputheth.” Larry sighed happily to himself. “Did you know, Bob, that echidnath and platyputheth, both from Authtrailia, are the only mammalth that are not pathental mammalth? That ith tho fathinating!”
“Uh, okay. Whatever you said.” Bob grimaced, casting a sidelong look at Larry who grinned broadly, showing his one shiny tooth.
“But now, I’m so worried!” Larry had returned to a more calm tone. “What’th going to happen to Lady Coralie? I don’t know if the old guy she meets is Gandalf, or Saruman! I sure hope he’th Gandalf! If he’th not, then Lady Coralie’th in big trouble!”
Bob rolled his eyes as Larry continued to express his anxiety over the future chapters of Lady Coralie’s story, when suddenly, Larry stopped, mid hop, and his eyes grew almost as round as dimes.
“What’th that?” Exclaimed Larry.
“What’s what?” Groaned Bob, looking to where Larry was gaping. “Good grief! It’s just the breadbox! You’ve seen it a million times!”
“No look!” Murmured Larry mysteriously. “Inthide!”
Bob rolled his eyes, but to humor Larry, he hopped closer. The lid to the breadbox was up, and there was no bread inside. It was completely empty. Or was it? From inside the dark recesses, there was a strange blue light glowing.
“Hmm.” Larry murmured. “I wonder what that could pothibly be.”
“Now, hold on just a minute, Larry.” Chuckled Bob nervously. “I’m sure it’s nothing. You just stay right here, and I’ll go see what it is.”
“Uh, okay.” Larry agreed, only all too willingly.
Drawing in a big sigh, Bob hopped over the rim of the breadbox, and disappeared into the darkness.
“Um, okay,” his voice echoed out from within. “This is weird. Um,” suddenly his voice became frantic. “Oh, no! Larry! Help me!” There was a big whoosh, and suddenly, all was silent.
“Bob! Bob!” Larry cried, and hopped toward the breadbox, but no answering voice came from within.
“Hmm.” He said thoughtfully to himself. “Thith is mysteriouth.” He scowled for a minute, deep in thought, and suddenly brightened. Hopping quickly away, he dashed behind the blender to emerge a moment later, dressed as none other than Larry Boy, complete with his purple plunger eared helmet.
“This soundth like a job for… du du du duh!!! Larry Boy!” He cried, as he jumped over the rim of the breadbox into the darkness.
Once inside, the blue glow came into focus. Instead of being a murky blue glow, the entire back of the breadbox seemed to be a portal of some kind, beyond which, was blue sky, the reason for the blue glow, and the edge of the portal, was framed with trees and trailing vines as if it was a door opening into a forest.
“Wow! Cool!” Larry said, stepping forward, through the portal, and then suddenly, the ground gave way beneath him. “Ahhhhhh!” He cried, finding himself sliding down a steep slope, tumbling over rocks and brush. Within his frightened cucumber brain, he imagined his plight much like Frodo’s and the other hobbits in the movie version of the Lord of the Rings, when they were tumbling down the side of the hill just before they found the mushrooms, except that poor Larry had no arms or legs to break his fall. Finally, with a rough thump, he tumbled to a stop. But his landing was not so unpleasant as he had feared.
“Wow, I’m sure lucky I landed on thomething thoft!” He exclaimed cheerfully.
“That `something soft’ is me, Larry!” A muffled voice came beneath him.
“Bob!” Larry cried, glancing around anxiously. He appeared to be in a tended garden of some sort at the base of a steep hill from where he and Bob had fallen. Flowers bloomed everywhere, their sweet fragrance wafting through the air about them. “Ith that you?”
“Yes, it’s me.” Came Bob’s muffled, long suffering voice.
“Bob, Bob, you don’t thound like yourself!” Larry cried in distress. “Are you hurt?”
“Only my pride, Larry. But that’s something I’m used to.”
“Where are you?” Pleaded Larry.
“You’re sitting on me, Larry.”
“Ohhhhhhhhh!” Larry sighed, rolling his eyes. He jumped up, and turned to see an uncomfortable looking Bob, squashed halfway down into the soft ground. Only his eyes were visible.
“Are you okay?” He queried as Bob shook himself and jumped out of the perfectly round hole his tomato body had created.
“I’m fine, Larry.” Bob answered tiredly, and glanced up the hill where the two vegetables had slid down. “It’s gonna be a steep climb back up. Maybe there’s a safer way to get back up there to the breadbox.”
“Yup!” Chirped Larry. “Maybe we should go take a look around, and see if there’th somebody who lives around here, who can help uth!”
“Alright.” Sighed Bob. “Couldn’t hurt. It’d be better than sitting around here twiddling our thumbs, anyway.”
“Uh, Bob.” Said Larry.
“Yes, Larry?” Bob asked tiredly.
“I didn’t think we had thumbth to twiddle.”
Bob sighed. “It’s just an expression, Larry.”
“Oh! Okay.” Said Larry happily.
“Well, c’mon, then.” Sighed Bob. “Let’s take a look around.” The vegetables hopped to the middle of the grassy glade toward a path that came winding in through a stand of thick trees, when they heard a soft voice, a feminine voice humming softly to itself, coming toward them, and suddenly a young woman appeared in front of them dressed in a long flowing gown of soft, sky blue. Her face was very finely shaped, and her long, dark brown hair hung down her back, her head wreathed with a circle of woven flowers. In her hands she carried a basket filled with flowers, and every few steps, she would stop and pluck another blossom, adding it to her growing collection. An expression of perfect contentment was on her face until she looked forward, and saw the two giant vegetables standing before her. Her humming stopped. Her smile dropped, as did her basket, spilling its contents onto the ground in front of her.
Not knowing what to do, Bob simply grinned. But Larry decided to be a little bit more polite.
“Hi!” He squealed, hopping eagerly toward the young woman. “I’m Larry Boy! What’th your name?”
At this, the young lady opened her mouth, and released a piercing shriek that filled the trees around them, echoing off of nearby hills before it bounced back at them, and then, her scream faded away into a soft groan as the poor young woman fainted dead away right in front of him.
“I think you scared her, Larry.” Bob said, his voice exasperated.
“Hmm.” Larry murmured. He hopped closer to the unconscious girl, and bent low toward her face. “Hello! Hellooooo!” He almost shouted into her face. She did not respond. “Hellooooo!” He repeated, raising his voice. “You look kinda familiar.” He shouted, as if that would make her hear him better. “Where do I know you from?”
Larry did not get a chance to continue his inquiry of the unconscious girl, for two young men had suddenly appeared, their appearance similar enough to the young lady’s, that it was safe for Larry and Bob to guess that they were her brothers, and themselves identical twins, by the looks of things. Their hair was longish, but not as long as their sister’s. And they did not look happy. Both of them were armed with bows, arrows taut to the strings.
“Stay back from our sister, foul miscreant!” The nearest one shouted, his arrow only inches from Larry’s face.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Larry squeaked, frightened, only all to willingly hopping back to Bob’s side. “Watch where you point that thing!”
“Um, we’re really sorry.” Bob grinned sheepishly as Larry tried to duck behind him, but being taller than Bob, wasn’t doing a very good job. “We didn’t mean to make her scream and faint.”
“Yeah!” Chirped Larry. “We were on our way to visit Cordy to see if the man Lady Coralie ran into was Tharuman or Gandalf, and we just accidentally fell through the breadbox and-,”
“Silence!” Boomed the first young man.
“What manner of creatures are you?” Demanded the second brother.
“Uh, we’re um, vegetables.” Murmured Bob with a humble chuckle.
“Well, technically, Bob’s a fruit.” Muttered Larry, scrunched as small as he could make himself, behind Bob.
The two brothers exchanged a dubious glance, and the one muttered something to the other that Bob and Larry couldn’t understand.
“Thaur olvar, raug o Sauron.” *
The second one nodded. “I mor bal o Morgoth.” **
“Hey, hey, hey!” Larry cried, hopping out from behind Bob. “That wathn’t very nithe to thay!”
“What?” Gasped Bob. “Did you understand them?”
“Well, no.” Admitted Larry half turning to Bob, but still keeping his eyes on the sharp arrows set to the bow strings the two young men still held. He had reverted to a strong lisp in his anger as he spouted, “But I heard the one thay `Thauron’, and the other thay `Morgoth’!” He frowned disapprovingly. “They think we’re bad guyth! Of all the nerve!” He screwed his eyes shut tight, and shook his head angrily, making his suction cup ears wobble back and forth.
“Oh, my.” Bob muttered, his eyes growing round as if struck suddenly with a revelation. “Larry?”
“I can’t believe you people!” Larry continued to rant, hopping around in front of the two young men, careful to stay clear of the still unconscious young lady. The aim of the two arrows following him as he hopped back and forth. “You don’t even know uth! We acthidentally make your thithter faint, acthidentally, and you jutht dethide we’re Thauron’th thervantth, without knowing anything elthe about uth? Matthew chapter theven verthe one clearly thtateth, `Judge not that ye be not judged!’ How would you like it if you fell through a breadbox, and we jutht athumed that you were memberth of the Mafia jutht becauthe of that?”
“What, Bob?” Asked Larry, stopping in his ranting.
“You know what I think?”
“No.” Larry brightened, suddenly curious. “What do you think?”
“I don’t think we’re in the kitchen any more. I don’t even think we’re on Earth any more.”
“Oh?” Asked Larry, his curiosity piqued. He looked around himself. “Doesn’t look like the moon to me.”
“Larry.” Bob said, taking a tentative hop forward, smiling nervously at the two armed young men. “Uh, Larry?”
Larry glanced away from the flowering vines and trees he had been studying, and grinned at Bob. “Yeth, Bob?”
“Um, Larry, I think-,” Bob gulped. “I think we’re in-,” he glanced once again at the young men, and chuckled nervously, “Middle Earth.”
Larry gaped. “Are you thure?”
Bob did his best to shrug, though it was difficult without shoulders.
Spinning to the two brothers, Larry demanded, “Um, where are we? And who are you?”
The two brothers traded another glance, and glared suspiciously back at the vegetables, though finally the first one spoke. “I am Elladan, son of Elrond, ruler of Imladris. This is my brother, Elrohir. And this maiden, whom you have so rudely accosted, is Arwen Evenstar, our sister.”
Larry gasped sharply. “She’th Arwen?” He gasped again. “No wonder she looked tho familiar! She lookth just like Liv Tyler! Oh, shucks! I withh I had a pen and paper handy to get her autograph!”
“Oh, Larry!” Bob sighed, grinning sheepishly at the two young men, he recognized now as elves. “Sorry about him. He’s a bit, um, odd.”
“You’re both odd.” Elrohir insisted.
Bob sighed, and rolled his eyes as Elladan lowered his bow, stooped over his sister, and spoke softly to her in Elvish.
Slowly she opened her eyes, and looked up, glanced around, and again her eyes found Bob and Larry.
Larry, clearly not having learned from his previous experience with Arwen’s already frazzled nerves, hopped eagerly forward, and gleefully chirped, “Hi, Arwen! I’m Larry Boy!” He shook his super suction ears proudly, then grinned broadly.
Arwen looked positively sick now, as if she was either about to throw up, or faint again as Elladan helped her carefully to her feet.
Bob chuckled softly, and offered her a shy, half grin. “I’m Bob.” He offered.
Arwen’s eyes were wide and round, and she said nothing as she ducked half way behind her brother who had taken bow in hand again, to guard the two vegetables.
“Well? Explain yourselves!” Elladan barked, speaking chiefly to Bob. “Why is your green traveling companion garbed as if for battle? Where are you from? And how is it, that you come to Imladris?”
“Oh.” Bob sighed, with an embarrassed chuckle and nodded. “Silly me.” Straightening himself up as much as he could, he cleared his throat, and announced, “I am Bob the Tomato. We’re from the kitchen counter. And this,” he indicated to Larry, “is Larry the Cucumber.”
“Wrong you are, citizen!” Chirped Larry. “For I am none other than-, du du du duh!!! Larry Boy, with his thuper thuction ears!”
“Oh, brother!” Bob groaned, rolling his eyes.
“Allow me to demonthtrate!” Larry cried dramatically, then hopping sideways with all his might, he rammed himself toward the nearest tree, leaped in the air at the last moment, and with a loud thwop, suctioned the side of his head to the tree’s smooth bark.
Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen gaped in astonishment at Larry’s apparently pointless theatrics.
“Uh,” Larry squealed suddenly realizing he was stuck, “um, thome help here?” He said, wiggling his body in an attempt to loosen himself from the tree.
“You are a tomato?” Asked Elladan incredulously, ignoring Larry and addressing Bob, deciding that he was the most reasonable of the two vegetables. “You’re the largest tomato we’ve ever seen, and the only one that can speak, or move about of its own accord!”
“Hmm, yes, well,” Bob spluttered. “That would be a little bit complicated to explain. Maybe if Archibald Asparagus was here, he might do a better job of it-,”
“You mean where you come from, there are others like you?” Cried Elrohir. “Who is your master? By what magic have you been created?”
Larry sighed exasperatedly from his position stuck on the tree. “We’ve been trying to tell you! We fell through the breadbox!”
“What is your alignment?” Elladan demanded.
“Huh?” Asked Bob. “I’m not a very mechanically minded veggie. I don’t have much to do with cars-,”
“Are you allies of Sauron?” Elrohir demanded impatiently.
“What?!” Cried Bob offended. “No of course not! Sauron’s evil! How could you ask such a question?”
“Perhaps they are allies to our cause. At the least, they must be of no harm to us.” Elrohir nodded sideward at his brother and sister. “If Sauron were to create a powerful army, do you not think he would use things more fearsome that limbless, hopping vegetables-,” He was cut off momentarily by Larry crying out in fear as his suction ear finally gave way, and he tumbled to the earth, “of clearly lower intelligence than even dwarves?”
“Excuse me?” Bob demanded, frowning, though Larry kept his permanent, trademark grin on his face as he shook himself, straightened up and stood.
“Yes, perhaps you are right.” Elladan agreed, and the two male Elves finally lowered their bows.
“We should take them to Father.” Arwen muttered. “He will know what to make of them.”
“Should we bind them before we know for a truth whether or not they are servants of Sauron?” Elladan asked.
“How?” Elrohir wondered. “They have no arms or legs to bind.”
“Good point!” Bob agreed, not relishing the thought of being tied up.
“True.” Elladan agreed. “But we will keep our bows in hand, an arrow at the string. And you, Bob the Tomato, and Larry the Cucumber,” Elladan demanded, “will make no sudden moves, or attempt to escape, else you long for the taste of elven arrows.”
“No problem, there!” Bob agreed readily, and hopped along only all too willingly as the three elves made their way down the trail toward a large, slope roofed house.
“Wow!” Larry whispered to himself as he hopped along, slowing down somewhat. “This lookth just like it did in the movie!”
“Larry the Cucumber?” Elladan demanded, turning so that the cucumber could still see that he carried his bow in his hand, and arrow set to the string. “Do not lag behind us!”
“Yethir!” Larry cried, and hopped ever faster as the small group made its way down into Rivendell.
Elrond sat in his study, massaging his temples, forcing himself to keep hold of his patience and trying to speak to Bob who sat in a chair near him, as the huge, lumbering cucumber squealed at one more minute detail in the room, and studied it with intense interest.
“I do not believe you are Sauron’s servants-,” he said to Bob who was trying to listen intently, as Larry, still in his Larry Boy outfit, hopped to a shelf lined with dusty old books, and squealed piercingly in delight, his scream reverberating off the walls, “for you do not appear to have an aura of evil about you, though, your traveling companion is rather-,” he glared bitingly in Larry’s direction “irritating.” Larry bent over a table strewn with maps of various sections of Middle Earth, and screeched, enraptured. “Doubtless, he tries the patience of many.”
“Tell me about it.” Bob muttered conspiratorially.
“And you seem to have no other desire but to return to your-,” Elrond cleared his throat, “breadbox. Which-,” Elrond paused, closing his eyes, and clenching his jaw in irritation as Larry found something else to screech at, “I am only all to willing to help you with. The spot on the cliff you mentioned, is familiar to me. Usually, it leads to a cave, but I am willing to believe that by the powers of the Valar, that even Elves do not always understand, you have been allowed to pass through it from your world to ours for a time, and for some-,” he glared at Larry, “reason, still unknown to me. The spot of which you speak is most safely approached during the day, when the sun is bright.” He indicated out the window at the sunlight fading in the west. “As it is growing dark, it would be inhospitable of me not to offer to you food and rest for the night, and tomorrow, my sons will guide you on the safest route back to your-,” he cleared his throat, “breadbox.”
“Well, that’s very kind of you.” Grinned Bob. “Thank you very much. But we really don’t want to impose-,”
“On the contrary, you will not impose in the least.” Elrond assured him, though he cast a wary sidelong glance at Larry as he said this. “We already have many guests, for a matter of some great importance has come here to Imladris, and while the means of addressing this matter has been decided, preparations are still being made to rectify the matter.”
“Ooooooooooooooooh!” Screeched Larry from a corner looking up from where he had been chortling with delight over a book sitting open on a desk strewn with ancient manuscripts. “Does this have anything to do with Thauron’s Ring?”
Elrond, aghast, glared at the cucumber. “How do you know of this?” He demanded of Larry, distrustingly.
“Are Boromir, and Gandalf and Gimli and all the hobbitth, and Legolath and Aragorn all here?!” Larry cried joyfully. “And you’ve already dethided that they’re going to take the ring to Mordor?”
Elrond cast an alarmed look at Bob who returned his glance with an apologetic grimace. “We kind of know-, some stuff.” Bob mumbled embarrassed, but hastened to add, “we’re not spies or anything, we just-,” he laughed squeamishly, “know about it.”
Elrond continued to eye Larry suspiciously, but did not question the vegetables further on that vein. “I have arranged to have servants show you to the feast, and afterwards to your rooms.”
He gestured to the doorway where two young elves, dressed as pages, stood waiting, expressions of fearful trepidation on their faces at the prospect of assisting such odd creatures as the two vegetables.
“I will join you at the feast, shortly.” Elrond assured Bob as he and Larry, with his ever permanent grin on his face, started for the door.
“Oh, thanks-,” Bob began, before he was cut off by a frightened grimace as Larry turned, and hopped energetically toward Elrond.
“Mithter Elrond, did you know you look jutht like Hugo Weaving?” Larry squealed, almost into Elrond’s face.
“Indeed?” Asked Elrond tiredly, turning his weary eyes on the beaming face of the cucumber. “A friend of yours?”
“Nope!” Chirped Larry. “Never met him!”
Elond blinked his eyes wearily. “Fortunate for him.” He muttered.
Larry just grinned, and hopped away after Bob.
Larry and Bob hopped along one of the many trails that wove through the trees of Imladris, silence between them for the most part, interrupted occasionally only by loud, echoing belches emitted from Larry.
“Larry,” sighed Bob tiredly, “do you have to keep doing that?”
“Well, Bob,” chirped Larry, “in some cultures, it’th considered polite to burp. It means the food’th good! And golly!” He grinned. “It was!”
“Except that nobody else was burbing at Elrond’s table, especially not as loud as you were!” Bob reminded him. “You sure made a scene there. And if that wasn’t worse, you didn’t need to scream every time one of the Fellowship came in the room! You scared Gimli so bad, he nearly stuck you with his ax before he realized you were Elrond’s guest!”
“Oh, but I couldn’t help that!” Cried Larry. “Everybody looked exactly like themthelves!”
“Larry!” Bob complained. “You look exactly like yourself. What’s so unusual about that?”
“Bob, Bob, Bob!” Larry sighed with the air of a long suffering friend. “You know what I mean!”
“Well, yeah.” Bob admitted, and uttered a short chuckle. “It sure was uncanny that everyone looked just like the actors who played them in the movies.”
“Poor Laura!” Larry sighed. “When we get back, she’ll sure wish she came with uth! If she was here, she’d be drooling at Legolath’th feet. She’th sure got a crush on him!”
“Yeah, and I’m sure Legolas would consider a freckled, hopping carrot as potential marriage material.” Groaned Bob.
Larry cast Bob a confused sideward glance, and was about to respond again, before he squealed, and gaped at something beyond Bob’s head.
“Wow! Look at that!” He chirped, and Bob turned to look upward, seeing two figures on a bridge a short distance from the two vegetables, etched in the light of the moon.
“It’th Aragorn and Arwen!” Squeaked an overly thrilled Larry. “It’th the kithing thene!”
“Oh, that’s sweet!” Bob agreed with a smile, but suddenly his smile faded to a look of alarm as he glanced down the trail where the two vegetables had come along, and groaned, “Oh no!”
“What’th wrong?” Queried Larry.
“Here comes Elrond! He’s gonna see `em, and it’s gonna ruin everything!” He said, staring down the trail as he watched the figure of Elrond coming closer.
“Elrond?!” Squealed Larry. “Why would he do that? He’th one of the good guys. He liketh Arwen and Aragorn!”
“Well, sure, he likes them, but he doesn’t necessarily like them together!” Explained Bob frantically. “He doesn’t want Arwen marrying a mortal. Remember?”
“Ohhhhhhhh.” Larry nodded, his eyes growing round. “But Arwen and Aragorn can’t have their little kithing thene ruined!” He batted his eyes dreamily. “They’re in love!” He sighed.
“C’mon, Larry you have to help me distract Elrond!” Bob ordered, hopping anxiously toward Arwen’s father.
“Okay!” Larry chirped cheerfully.
“Elrond, Elrond!” Cried Bob frantically.
“Yes, Bob the Tomato?” Asked Elrond coming near with a concerned expression on his face. “What is it?”
Bob gestured toward the shadowed trees with his head, pointing Elrond in the opposite direction of where Arwen and Aragorn were standing, opened his mouth, and as music began to fill the air, its source unknown, he began to sing rapidly:
(from “Lyle, the kindly Viking”, adapted from the song, “Look, Olaf!”)
“Look Elrond, there’s a monkey with some green and purple markings
in the tree that I see way way over there.
Look, Elrond there’s another and another and another,
And a little one with orange, ratted hair.”
“What’s a monkey?”
“Look Elrond, Elrond Elrond, way down deep under the river,
it’s the biggest frog I think I’ve ever seen!
Look Elrond, he’s got purple skin, and black and yellow stripings,
And his great big eyes glow iridescent green!”
“What?!” Demanded Elrond searching the water of the river below, as Bob grinned widely.
“Bob,” whispered Larry, “I don’t see a thing!”
“C’mon, Larry!” Bob hissed through the side of his mouth. “You have to help me distract him!”
“Ohhhhhhh!” Grinned Larry knowingly as he cocked his brow, and hopped eagerly toward Elrond, nearly pushing him over the side of the steep trail they stood on, and into the river below, and he too, began to sing rapidly along with Bob:
“Look Elrond, there’s an orc right there, It’s wearing a blue tutu,
and it’s juggling a set of purple blocks!
Look Elrond, very close and see it’s riding on a cave troll,
And it’s chasing down a herd of big balrogs!
Look Elrond, Elrond, Elrond, Elrond! Elrond, Elrond, Elrond, Elrond!
There’s a goblin combing out its hair!
Look Elrond, it’s a dragon! It’s an Easterling! It’s Sauron!
Look Elrond, please look anywhere but-,”
Elrond, thoroughly confused and disgusted, threw up his hands, and turned away. “I don’t see anything!”
Bob and Larry flinched.
“But there.” Bob finished lamely.
But then he smiled. Aragorn and Arwen were gone! They’d disappeared while Bob and Larry were singing their song.
“Phew!” Larry and Bob muttered together as Elrond put his fists on his hips and stared them down as if they were both thoroughly insane.
“I think you need some sleep, Bob the Tomato. A great deal of sleep.” He frowned. “And you as well, Larry the Cucumber.”
“Um, yeah.” Bob chuckled, embarrassed. “I think you’re probably right.” They hopped slowly past the disgruntled Elf who looked like he was nearly ready to give them a kick into the river below.
“Good night, Mithter Elrond!” Chirped Larry.
“It most certainly will be a good night, if you’re asleep!” Elrond muttered. “As long as you don’t screech in your sleep.” He added worriedly.
“Uh oh.” Bob said, and paused momentarily.
Elrond groaned at the tone in Bob’s voice, and the look in the tomato’s eyes, but said nothing as he pressed a hand to his throbbing head, and strode quickly away in the opposite direction.
“Here is the opening to the cave you fell out of.” Elladan said, he and his brother hardly out of breath, and hardly caring at the height of the ledge upon which they stood. Bob, however, and Larry, wearing his Larry Boy outfit, were panting heavily from the steep climb, and pressed, petrified against the side of the steep hill.
“O-oh, o-okay, th-thanks.” Bob stuttered, inching with Larry along the ledge until they found the cave entrance, and hopped inside, grateful to be away from the steep edge.
“Hey, Bob!” Chirped Larry as the two vegetables hopped deeper into the shadows of the cave. “Look at this! It’s the lid of the breadbox!” He bumped on it with his head, and the lid flew open, spilling in the light from the kitchen.
“Cool!” Bob cried. “We’re home! Hey, Elladan, and Elrohir, ya wanna come take a quick peek at our world?” He chuckled. “It’s a little different than yours, but-,” As he turned, his words were completely cut off.
“What is it, Bob?” Larry chirped, turning. “Ohhhhhh.” He said in answer to himself, staring wordlessly at the back of the breadbox.
“Hmm.” He said. “How’d that get there?” Furrowing his green cucumber brow in determination, he hopped quickly at the back of the breadbox and jumped at it, his super suction ear hitting the wall with a thwap, and there he hung.
“Yup!” He chirped, a disappointed tone to his voice. “It’th real. Guess we won’t have any more adventureth in Middle Earth!”
Bob stared at his friend for a few moments before he turned away and hopped over the rim of the breadbox.
“Uh oh! It appears that I’m thtuck!” Echoed Larry’s voice from within the shadows. “Thome help here, Bob?”
“That was completely pointless.” Bob complained, ignoring Larry. “We had no adventure. We didn’t meet any bad guys, or do anything fun!
“Hey, we did keep Elrond from seeing Arwen and Aragorn kithing!” Argued Larry from inside the breadbox. A moment later, he screeched, fell with a loud bang, and came hopping out himself, a big grin on his face.
“Well,” Bob reluctantly agreed. “That’s true! But it wouldn’t have changed anything anyway, even if he did!”
He started hopping once again toward Cordy. “C’mon, Larry let’s read about some real adventures in Middle Earth! Something where interesting things actually happen.”
“Yeah!” Laughed Larry. “Wouldn’t it be crazy if thomebody actually wrote a pointleth story about what we just did!”
“Don’t worry, Larry.” Bob assured him. “Nobody’s that stupid.”