Smeagol… The Battle of Helm’s Deep – What Smeagol says about it…

by May 12, 2004Stories


Helllo, again, this issss Smeagol looking at the Battle of Helm’ses Deep. Nasty Wizard made lotses of nasty Urukses
to killl the Men of the Plainses. Old Man takeses his peoples
to Helm’ses Deep, a biiig stone fortressss, yes it is. He thinkses his peoples will be saaaffe there. Meanwhile, the Not-as-Nasty-Wizard, the Old Wizard People, meetses with Eomerrr, I thinkses it was. Ten thousand filthy Urukses march
to Helm’ses Deep. A storm comeses. Smeagolsss a good dramatic story-teller, isn’t he, precious? A storm comeses. Urukses march. A storm comses. Urukses march. They reach
Helm’ses Deep. Wait… no, not yet. First Old Man tellses everyone who can killl nasty orcses with swordses or bowses to help fight the urukses when they comeses. Then, a big horn is blown, and lotses of elves march in to help the men of the plains. NOW the filthy Urukses and the storm reach Helm’ses Deep. The elveses and men start shooting at the Urukses. The urukses shoot back. The urukses get on top of the wall using ladderses, and start fighting the elveses and men. And they fought and fought and fought, and the urukses set a nasty bomb at a weak point in the wall, and it explodeses, gollum! It blowses a breach in the wall. And they fight and fight and fight and fight and fight, until the poor men (no elveses left) are pushed back into the hall. That cruel ranger, Aragorn, tellses Old Man to ride out the hall, to killll lotses of urukses. They do. Just when it lookses like poor men are going to die, Old Wizard and Eomerrrr show up on top of the big hill… or was it mountain? With lotses of riderses. They ride down, and kill lotses and lotses of urukses. The urukses run away, in the oppisite direction, precious. Nasty Treeses are there. All the urukses die. The men winnn the Battle.

Now that I’ve looked at the battleses, I might look at look at something else.

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