It’s Down to this, I’ve got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I’ve done?
I miss the life, I miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am?
Cause now again I’ve found myself, so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place
I’m so far down, away from the sun again/ away from the sun again. I’m over this, I’m tired of livin’ in the dark
Can anyone see me down here?
The feeling’s gone, there’s nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I know
“Away From the Sun” by Three Doors Down
Aarynne let the cool stream rush over her bare feet as she sat under one of the protective trees of Lorien. She tilted her head back, closing her eyes, trying to allow the flowing water to wash away the memories she held so tightly, as well as the dirt off her feet.
“Aarynne, what are you doing?” Arwen asked, coming upon her sister sitting by the stream. “Grandmother called you to dinner hours ago, why didn’t you come?” She asked, sitting next to her. Aarynne kept her eyes closed, and didn’t answer. She seemed in a trance almost, calm, yet troubled. Arwen reached to put a slender hand on her sister’s shoulder, but Aarynne felt the piercing sting of Yassir’s grasp instead.
Aarynne jerked back, shaken out of her disturbed memories, a consuming fear in her eyes.
“Dear Elbereth, Aarynne, what is it?” Arwen said, more than a little startled by her sister’s outburst. Aarynne sat shaking her head for a moment, visibly upset. At last, she stood, steadying herself against the large tree under which she sat.
“Just…I…oh, never mind it.” She said distractedly.
“Are you all right?” Arwen asked, wary to attempt a comforting hand on the shoulder again. Without looking back Aarynne replied,
“Yes, quite all right. Just a little lightheaded, I think I’ll lie down for a while.” Arwen remained unconvinced, but all the same relented.
“All right, I’ll see you in the morning then.” With this final word, she turned and headed back for her chambers. Aarynne however, did not. Would the memories ever go away? Would they always be so vivid that she would mistake her own sisters caring hand for the merciless clutch of Yassir? She didn’t know. She prayed not, but it was still all so near in her mind.
With a silent prayer that Yassir would stop haunting her life without him as he did in her life with him, she turned and absentmindedly followed the stream until it came to it’s source, the Nimrodel. At this, she realized how far she had gone, and how dark the clear sky had become. Instead of walking all the way back to Lorien, she decided to camp here for the night, and was soon whisked off into a troubled sleep by the sound of the Nimrodel flowing.
Aarynne stirred as the lonely light of morning shone brokenly through the treetops. Nearby, Robins sang a cheery tune, but it could not lift her heart. At times, Aarynne wondered if she would ever feel real joy again. With heavy thoughts brewing in her troubled mind, Aarynne walked back to Lorien, looking at the beauty of the surrounding woods, but not truly seeing anything.
The reaction she received upon arriving in her grandparents’ halls was as she expected. Anger veiled as care. From all around her, she heard everything she’d expected to. “Where were you? We were so worried,” and, “Don’t frighten us like that, we thought you were hurt.” All of these words, spoken with anger, though they expected her to believe that they truly cared.
Aarynne climbed the long, winding stairway up to the main hall of Lorien, her feet moving without fail, her mind and heart filling with fear. As she climbed the last step, her grandmother Galadriel, and grandfather, Celeborn were waiting for her. Galadriel’s face was ever unreadable, though her eyes pierced through Aarynne in a way that frightened her. Celeborn moved forward and put a hand on Aarynne’s face.
“We were worried, my dear. Would you care to explain?”
This is what she had feared.
“I took a walk and ended up farther from Lorien than I anticipated. It was dark and I didn’t want to walk back, so I decided to sleep there. That’s all.” Aarynne stated openly, knowing there was no use in lying or even trying to get around talking to them.
Galadriel nodded and smiled.
“That`ll do Aarynne, thank you.” She stated simply, though her eyes stayed on Aarynne a moment longer.
She shuddered subtly at the feeling of her grandmother sorting through her mind. There were things hidden there that no one was meant to know.
She bowed her head quickly, and nearly ran down to the courtyard.