I recently got back from a month long vacation in Europe (England, Austria, Switzerland, and mostly Germany) and got this great idea. What if…I write a story/journal type thing about my “adventures” from the viewpoint of a man from Middle-earth! While keeping the non-fiction/factual base. So, I have mixed truth with fiction, I hope it’s not to confusing. Maybe not the most interesting thing, but hey, I tried (and no, contrary to what the story may say, this is not my first ride in an airplane, just my character’s):
The Journal Of Sarin Speck, or the story of a confused man.
3:00 AM (Middle-Earth): Was rudely awakened in the wee hours of the morning by parents. Not exactly fair, because I had almost gotten my beauty sleep. Oh well, can sleep in the cart.
4:00 AM: Finally ready for this so-called “quest to far off lands”. I think we might be going to Grandmum’s across the street again, but that’s only an assumption.
5:00 AM: Been in this dang cart for an hour and mum and dad won’t tell me anything. I wonder if I’m being kidnapped…wouldn’t doubt it.
7:00 AM: Water ahead. Not sure which ocean, possibly Lake Nurn. I wonder if Sauron captured my parents and switched them with minions that look just like them! No…that’s just disgusting.
7:15 AM: I see a strange wing-ed thing on the horizon that says “British Airways” and has a swishy thing on the back. Mum tells me it’s an airplane. Have labeled both of them legally insane. Want to go home.
8:00-9:00 AM: Being seated inside strange airplane thing. Have met nice chap, from same area. Didn’t really get to talk to him though, his mum took him away too. I wonder if there is some kind of conspiracy going on. Strange voice coming from somewhere up above. Considering jumping out window, but can’t because of a strange device strapping self down around waist. Very uncomfortable, as is too tight. Have been given strange reading materials. Man next to me oozing into my seat, find it very disgusting. Mum says it’ll be all right, but don’t believe her. As I have only half a seat now, and the man’s ears are covered with something strange and making a loud noise.
9:30 AM: Suddenly have a strange sensation of brain going into feet. Mum says the plane is taking off. Will strangle her if one more time I hear “It’ll be all right” Must hold self down. Decided to take nap.
12:30 PM, London, England (8 hours later): Awoke to a disturbing feeling, but happy that brain is slowly sliding from feet back into head. Mum tells me that we are in London, England. Never heard of this place, suspect it is in northern Middle-Earth.
1:00 PM: Was rushed immediately to the bathroom and told to change into strange loose pants, loose shirt and strange underdrawers. Quite comfortable, but will take some getting used to. Got backpack full of more of these clothes and other strange things. Had no time to look, because was rushed into another room to get on another airplane. Saw the same chap as earlier, but decided not to wake him.
2:30 PM, Frankfurt, Germany (2.5 hours later): Brain back in head, check. Went out of plane and was reassured by mum that that was our last flight for a long time. Was relieved yet saddened, was actually quite fun. Met a long lost cousin named Billie Jae and a new cousin named Katie. Almost introduced self as Sarin, but was instead given the new name of “Ian” as Sarin is not normal. It flows, am beginning to like it. Taking a cart ride to Bamberg. But, this isn’t really a cart, it’s some sort of moving machine that moves on it’s own. But makes a horrible smell. Have fallen asleep inside.
5:00 PM: Arrived at Bamberg Military Post (not base mind you, they are very specific about that) Man at gate saw my journal and told me not to add many details about the post. When I asked why, he said it was for security reasons. He said it very sternly, so am now worried that I have a stalker. Met cousin David, who is also Billie’s husband, at their house on “Snob Hill”. Apparently that’s where all the high rankers live. He had dinner ready for us; eggplant parmesan, vegetarian style. Billie isn’t quite a vegan, but she hates meat. Almost died when was told this news, beginning to wonder if there is some way to get home.
6:00 PM: Billie and David showed us around their house. Very nice, but strangely roomy. Roomier than our hut back home and will take some getting used to. Was shown my room, perfect fit. One lamp, one bed; windowless, not enough room for moi. Just not a lot of headroom, slanted ceiling. Already have several bumps on me noggin.
7:00 PM: Chatting about times long past. Will take short nap.
10:15 PM: Bedtime. Falling asleep to purring of cat. Or maybe it’s growling. Apparently I stole her bed. Have made mental note to try and make friends with her. Listening to strange twangy music, have been told it’s some man called “Keith Urban”. Enjoying it.