Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
(Jerry walks in)
Jerry: Hey! Welcome to the Jerry Springer Show!
Jerry: We have a great show for you today called
“Little hobbits with glowing swords and shiny crystals”
Say hello to Samwise Gamgee!
Audience: (claps and cheers)
Sam: I hope you know that Mistres Rose is not
happy about this!
Jerry: Shut up! You’re getting payed aren’t you?!?!?
Sam: Oh yeah! HI! (sits down)
Jerry: Right. So Sam, tell me you now known as
Samwise The Brave, why is that?
Sam: (fake smile) Well, I defeated the TERRIBLE
Shelob in order to save my friend!
(que cards go up)
Jerry: Wow! How did you defeat her?
Sam: It’s a funny story actually! I was walking
down the road when I heard Mr. Frodo whine….I
mean scream for me. I knew I had to help him.
Jerry: What did you do next?
Sam: Well, I ran up the stairs as fast as I could…
Jerry: Which is not very fast!
Sam:l (glares at Jerry ) ANYWAY! I ran into
the tunnel and started looking for Frodo. Then all
of the sudden, OUCH! I stepped on something
sharp and shiny.
Jerry: What was it?
Sam: DUH! It was Mr. Frodo’s sword and phial from
Galadriel. So I picked it up and…..
(random audience members leave)
Sam: HEY WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I’M NOT
Jerry: uh…we’ll be back in a second after this
Jerry: Dude! You’re putting my audience to sleep!
Can’t you be less boring? Say something completly
wrong and exciting!
Sam: Oh all right!
(back on air)
Jerry: And we’re back! Sam was here telling us about
how he killed Shelob. Please continue!
Sam: (fake smile ) ANWAY! SO there she was
right in front of me! She had already ripped my shirt
off and was in a mad rampage!
Sam: So..I..uh grabbed my sword and uh..chopped
off her leg! Then she..uh..bit me! Right! She bit me
and practicly tore my arm off!
Jerry: Then what happened?
Sam: I took my sword and chopped off her….HEAD!
AND then she was dead! The End
Jerry: (leans toward Sam) That’s what I was
Audience: (cheers and whistles)
Jerry: After you destroyed the ring, what happened
Sam: :l MISTER FRODO DITCHED ME AT THE
Jerry: Some friend!
Sam: RIGHT! SOME FRIEND! I DON’T KNOW WHY
I EVEN FOLLOWED HIM! (storms off the stage)
Jerry: Well that’s the end of our show! Bye Folks!