Is This Heaven? – Chapter Five: Ever-watchful… Ever waiting

by Mar 6, 2003Stories

(Okay… this is a little out of season, but I put a Christmas song on while I wrote this chapter, so it’s a little wierd… Also, thanks to everyone following this story!)

Chapter Five: Ever-watchful… Ever waiting

For a few moments he just stood there, watching her cry though it made his heart fill with pity. Did she have any idea how heart-wrenching it was to see her this way? Crying hysterically? No, of course not. He longed to go and comfort her, to tell her not to worry, that everything would work out. Anything to quiet the lovely lass down. Trying to squelch the feelings in his heart, he stepped closer to her bed, softly so as not to disturb her. She was muttering something over and over, but it was so muffled that he couldn’t hear what it was. He reached out to touch her hair, then drew his hand back. What on earth am I thinking? He wondered, his eyes dark with remorse.

He stepped back. She was too fragile for him to touch right now. One wrong move and he would regret it. Instead, he would watch he. Get to know the female, all her little twists and turns, and he would have a much easier time with her. He would prove himself trustworthy. Perhaps… someday… she would trust him enough to tell him where she was from. For now, all he could do was watch.


She knew he was there, just from that ridiculous masculine feel he brought with him. But somehow she couldn’t draw herself back from the vision she’d had. How could she? It hurt too much to let go…
She could feel Leo there before she became aware of anything else. The gentle warmth of his hand, the soft sound of his voice floating towards her. The mechanical beeping and clicking of machines all around her. She tried in vain to open her eyes, but heavy weights held them shut.

“Lori? Honey, can you hear me? It’s Leo… your boyfriend,” she could hear the desperation and fear in his voice. And, God help her, it made her feel about two inches tall. His handsome face flashed into her mind, warm and bright, as if he was really there. Her heart lightened with love, making her weep harder. He couldn’t hear her. And she was alone.


She couldn’t bring herself back. She stayed strewn across her bed, sobbing out his name amid other cries of anguish. She would have given anything to have someone hold her close right now, just to tell her she was okay… she was loved. Legolas stood near her, that she could still sense, but he’d made no move to console her. It was then that it hit her.

They look almost exactly alike… Could it be that this was destiny? That Leo and Legolas are the same? Or have I truly lost myself? She felt more calm now and sniffled, going to wipe her eyes on the back of her hand when Legolas caught her chin and gently turned her to face him.

“Here, use this,” he held out a handkerchief to her, softness in his blue gaze. She reached for it, then decided at the last moment to reach for him instead. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her eyes against his shoulder, crying into the fabric of his shirt with abandonment. His arms tightened around her possessively and his chin rested atop her head. “Shhhh… It’s okay. Nothing’s going to happen to you, I promise. Try to relax,” he murmered into her ear, soothing away any fears she’d had. She cuddled deeper, gradually ceasing to cry.


Nothing could have prepared him for the warmth that raced into his body at her touch. It was as if he’d never held another in his life, never loved someone with such abandonment and reverence. His arms tightened around her of their own accord, holding her against his chest as if they would never let go. His chin rested lightly atop her golden head, every breath he took full of her scent. Fragility mixed with flowers. Why should I be going mad from it? he couldn’t help but wonder. He gently eased one hand under the golden curtain of her hair, rubbing her back in gentle circles, easing her further.

“Laureli… What upset you so?” He whispered it into her ear, only to feel her pull back from his shoulder. She stared at him for a few seconds, her pale azure eyes filled with pain and fear, until her voice came out at last in a thin whine.

“Is this heaven? You’re real, aren’t you? I’m real, right? What am I doing here? How did I get here? Why am I here?” She spoke in a panicked tone, and it didn’t take the keeness of Elven eyes to see that she was trembling like a leaf in the wind. He gently released her, his brows raised in surprise.

“What is this ‘heaven’ you speak of, Laureli? Have you lost your senses? I’m real, of course, and so are you. You came here to alert Elrond of the hobbit’s condition… What’s the matter? Are you alright?” He demanded it, eyes filled with concern. She shook her head as if to clear it, then ceased shuddering.

“Of course, Prince. Forgive me for my fears.”

He didn’t believe her, but it would have to do, because she was wandering towards the window again. Sighing, he stepped after her, wondering why she sought solitude.


His words had reassured her somewhat, and for that at least she could be grateful. But the room had suddenly gotten a whole lot warmer as Legolas had gazed at her with such a loving look in his eyes. But no. He couldn’t love her, for she was either a shadow in this land or an unwilling traveller, back frm another place and time. She knew he was following her, but she decided to sing to herself instead of fight with him.

Even now
the world is bleedin’
but feelin’ just fine
all numb in our castle.
Where we’re always free to choose
never free enough to find
I wish somethin’ would break
cuz we’re runnin’ out of time.

And I am overcome (yeah)
I am overcome.
Holy water in my lungs
I am overcome.

These women in the street pullin’ out their hair
My master’s in the yard
Givin’ light to the unaware
This plastic little place
Is just a step amongst the stairs

And I am overcome (yeah)
I am overcome (baby)
Holy water in my lungs (yeah)
I am overcome

So drive me out
Out to that open field
Turn the ignition off
And spin around
Your help is here
But I’m parked in this open space
Blockin’ the gates of love

And I am overcome (yeah)
I am overcome (baby)
Holy water in my lungs (yeah)
I am overcome (yeah, yeah)

I am overcome (oh Lord)
I am overcome (baby)
Holy water in my lungs (holy water, holy water)
I am overcome

Beautiful drowning
This beautiful drowning
This holy water
This holy water is in my lungs

And I am overcome
I am overcome (yeah, yeah)
I… I… I am overcome
I am overcome

She almost whispered it at first, her words soft until she had regained her confidence in the words, baffling Legolas. What had happened to her to make her fear like this? He would find out. If it took every last breath in his body, he would find out.


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