Gimli’s To Do List
1. Destroy ring…
…. Not with my axe.
2. Buy new axe.
3. Prevent ring from falling into the hands of, `Golden Boy’….The Elf. Even if it means joining a quest to Mordor.
4. Persuade Fellowship to go through Moria, partly to visit Balin, but mainly to see if it’s true that a certain Elf is scared of the dark.
4. Obtain another axe to replace the one I left in the cave troll.
5. Try to forget fact that certain Elf has just saved my life.
6. Restrain urge to hit an Elf (Haldir) for his plan to blindfold me.
7. Restrain urge to hit an Elf (Legolas) for calling Dwarves stubborn.
8. Will try hard not to laugh at said Elf when he is ticked off by Aragorn for being stubborn.
9. Will make friends with Elf and quell Elfist tendencies. This is because Galadriel is an Elf and…Galadriel rocks!!!…. (From a Dwarf that’s a high compliment)
10. Find Merry and Pippin, trying hard not to engage in too many who can run faster/ for longer / with best style competitions with the Elf and Aragorn.
11. Will… not decapitate rider of Rohan for dissing Galadriel….yet.
12. Will not encourage Legolas to shoot strange old men.
13. Will beat Legolas in Orc slaying competition….even if it leads to further axe damage.
14. Get another new axe…again.
15. Revisit Glittering Caves with Legolas…persuade him that he does NOT want to go back to Fangorn.
16. Will not show fear at dead men. Even if they are dead and still want to follow Aragorn (What is it with that guy?!) …Easy, I’m wonderful!…..OFF the list Aragorn….sorry…..good.
17. Defeat Sauron.
18. Repopulate Glittering Caves with dwarves.
19. Go to Grey Havens with Legolas….I hated the guy but now I’m spending the rest of my life with him…..now that’s irony for you.
This was not written by the submitter. I do not know who did. When I do I will let you all know. Thank you to the Author for this very funny thing. It was received in an email. All proper credit to whom it is do. More To do lists coming soon.