I am an Elf. Not an Elf as you would picture one, the ways that humans explain them. I am tall, taller than a woman of your kind, I do not wear or own pointed shoes or a pointed hat and I do not have red cheeks and I am also not wide. But I do have pointed ears, but not so large that they stick above my head, but rather just a bit longer and pointed than that of men. My eyes are of a deep blue, eyes of the sea, my skin is pale, and I am slender and graceful. That is a real Elf. My name is Anarya, a name which means ‘Sun-One’. I speak of the old Elvish, both Sindarin, Quenya and of the oldest of old language, that is used no longer as a tongue, but as a ancient form of Elvish for writing and lore of learning.
I want to tell you my story. It is a tale of love and hope, tears and joy, peril, danger, hate, feeling, want. It is of a hidden evil, forgotten beyond the world. And I want to share with you all my life, everything that has happened to me and my people, and why we are here today. I will tell you first of our history, why we have fallen, and where.
My race was all but diminished, lost and scattered over the lands, hidden and secret. If by some chance we were discovered some one would take as and examine us, watching us and hunt us down until we would be a mere experiment of history, gone for all time. We were forced to hide from friends and family, afraid of being discovered together, my race was weak and fearful. We once were the proudest of races, wisest and fairest of all beings, I would tell you our full story but for the time, of which there is little. We were the first to come to the lands of Earth, in a time and place called Middle Earth. Middle Earth has long since passed away, since the passing of the Second Age we no longer could call where we lived Middle Earth, for that was the time of the Elves, who left their leading to the race of man. But on with my story: Other beings came and lived their lives and we lived ours, the time was of the Elves, and we were more powerful and great then any other, but yet we had no longing for power. Time passed through the problems of the lands, we began to tire. In greater and greater numbers we would pass to the West, no longer concerned for the problems of Middle Earth, for in our immortality, life became dull and meaningless to many. Soon the time of man came, and we almost altogether diminished, if it weren’t for few. A small group of the Elves stayed together, even once all of the lands had forgotten us and placed us in story books and changed our very essence. Time passed, and at a time of fear we scattered, losing all we once knew, I can not give you much of a tale of what happened to the others, for I do not know myself, I have seen very little of my kind since those days and we each went our own path in life. I ended up in a forest, cool and dark, away from the others, I built myself a living place, small and modest. I was still an Elf, and had the ability to hide and be not seen if I pleased. I did not want to be seen by any, all my friends and those I knew were gone. I did not trust myself to seek refuge in man, for fear of becoming attached and to feel, when I knew I would live beyond their years. I stayed there for many years, I did not spend time to count, for I did not care. I considered leaving to the West, away from my sorrows, but some small part of me kept my spirit strong, with a will to live. I hoped not to be discovered, and I moved from place to place, never staying for more than ten years in a place. Ten years would seem like a long time for a person, but to an Elf who has lived for years and years, through all the pains of the ages, 10 years is like a mere breathe, taken and released, not thought about or of much wonder.
That is where I am now, deep within the secrets of a wood in the middle of some place I do not know what they call in the present times, I do not know where, it does not concern me. Yet something stirs in me, something is going to happen, I feel it in the depth of my heart of hearts. I listen to the birds, for they know of ancient secrets and of what goes on in the outside worlds. They whisper of the returning of a something they can not say, can not put in to their simple language that they use in my presence. I ask them, but they can not or simply will not say. I am confused, my life has been in a silence for many of years, it has been much time since I last saw an Elf, and even longer has it been since I spoke to one of my race.
Humans, I see them, when I leave my house in the tallest of trees, they are a selfish race, who care for nothing but their own wants. I miss the fellowship of spending times with the merry Elves, but I never could, for each of us was in our own exile. It was not a spoken agreement, it was what went by and how the time passed, to us it was like the rising and falling of the sun, the changing of seasons.
I heard rumors of how the Elves were not the only ones who stayed after the beginning of the third age, but stories told of Hobbits and Dwarves, hidden some where. The worst was of the enduring of the spirit of Sauron, but there was no truth in this to me, it was unheard of, a tall tale told around fires. The worst it must be, I think, would be perhaps some Orcs hidden in the valleys undiscovered.
I hope the worlds of Middle Earth are not completely in ruin, not everything is lost. Old magic may still hang in the still air, hidden, but there.
I am restless, readying to move on once again, slip away like a whisper told in the dark, cold night. It is night now, and I am sitting in the bed I have made from willow bows, awake in the night. Every noise always causes me to sit up strait and swift, realizing it is a forest animal or just the breeze rustling the leaves in the scornful trees. I wonder what is coming, because I knew there would be someone or something coming. I remember feeling a twinge when it was believed the Ring was created, and I had feelings of great evil passing over the world. I was there when the Fellowship was formed, I longed to go with them, I even asked to accompany them through the journey. The danger gave me no fear, I longed to preserve the time and life of the innocent. They told me that this was no journey, even if I was the only of the old who passed along on the ships in the beginning of time, for a she-elf, especially one of such value to the Council. I told them I would be leaving on a journey at the same time as them, to discover what I could from the enemy. I did not lie, I planned to discover what I wanted from the enemy, but I was following the Fellowship. They never saw me, I stayed hidden from their view, helping them along the way, even if they would never know. On many occasions I shot an orc that was following them, stopped Gullom from moving in on them. I even added extra Lembas to their packs while they did not watch, none of them seemed to suspect my following them. Alas! They did not listen to him. I still can’t figure with how many times I put myself in a position where they could maybe possibly see me, but never did, except Legolas. He had soon seen me after we set off from Rivendell, I had left three days before them, hiding while those of Imlädris thought me far from that place. Finally they set off and I followed. I was sitting one day, watching them stop to eat, and suddenly noticed Legolas was not among them. I glanced around me, but he was not in sight.
“Hello Anarya” said a voice behind me. I jumped nearly a league and almost screamed before I quickly silenced and willed myself to turn. Legolas was standing, smiling behind me.
“Legolas!” Now I jumped even farther this time. “You are not to see me.” I jumped up, almost as if to run.
He laughed a merry laugh. “This is strange, I have no memory of your joining the Fellowship.”
I could feel myself blushing a deep crimson. “I thought I would follow you, to protect you. This is a dangerous journey.”
“Well, yes. When did you figure me to be following you?”
“Ever since we set off from Imlädris.”
“Imlädris! Am I really so terrible an Elf as that?”
“No, none of the others know it, I am an Elf same as you, after all” He pondered for one moment. “I was trained by my father, you must remember.”
I sighed, I had been discovered, surely I would be sent back, disgraced for not following Elrond’s orders. I had been incredibly foolish. “You will send me back.”
A startled look befell him. “Send you back? Surely not, I am here in the wild with eight, nearly strangers, and here is an Elf whom I have known my entire life, and you will be great company for me.”
Now it was my time to be startled, I was sure I was to head home, but now I would go on my journey, and not be lonely.
So the journey continued. At the end when they were setting off for the Grey Havens and Legolas told me he was to go I thought I would never live again. I wanted so badly to go through and pass with them as well, never did I have a greater desire to leave this Earth forever. Tears were all I knew in this time, for I had grown so very fond of Legolas through our journey that parting with him was as if I was parting with a fragment of my soul. I was sure that if I did not pass on I would die of grief.
“Anarya, this is when we must part lastly” said my Legolas.
“No.” It came from my mouth as almost a whisper, a gasp.
“Come with us, leave this Earth, I know you grow tired here.”
“But I can not, I feel held here with a force that my mind does not comprehend.”
“Why must it be this way?”
“There is none other.”
“Oh Anarya, you know there are, please don’t take my heart with you when you stay.”
“I feel no better with this parting moment than you must.”
The tears I had held back suddenly fell down my face in torrents, I could not stop for my last love was leaving me here upon this cursed Earth, and I could not bear it.
“Legolas, don’t leave me here, please do not do this, my heart can not bear it, I will fall, I will collapse.”
“I am sorry Anarya, you know I must. No, wait, I will not go, I can not find it in my heart to leave you here.”
Legolas begged another month before they left, his heart was torn between his decisions. I was sure he has decided finally to stay, his mind changed from one day to the next, sometimes even more often than that. But I hardly have the heart to tell you how the end came about. He did leave, against my pleadings and tears.
My heart broke, I could live no longer, the ships seemed to call me to them, one day I woke, deciding I would leave. The force I could not understand still held me back. Finally Legolas began to fade from my mind. Oh no, I did not forget him, nothing could tear his memory from me, nothing. Not the thousands of years that passed before my eyes could take this memory from me.
The rest is not to be told, though much of it already has been. I have told you my story, not all of it, mind you, for that you will discover much of when you hear what happens to me now.
I sat up quickly, sweating. Another dream, I could feel a flash of pain cross my face. This should not go on, it was not right, but there was nothing that could be done to stop it. This is knew from experience. One lone tear escaped me and fell to my bed sheets.
“Anarya stop this!” I told myself aloud. It had been too long, too many tears had been shed. This has to stop. Slowly I laid my head upon my pillow once again. I almost unheard sigh escaped my lips. Oh, this was far too much. Why is my life so difficult. Closing my eyes I tried to fall once back into oblivion. It wasn’t easy to sleep like it once was, now thoughts pushed through the darkness, causing the tears to come again.
The next morning is upon my before I have a chance to think, good, I did not want thoughts. Ignoring a nagging in my stomach I stood to continue my day. I ate little, preparing to study, for that was what I did most of my tiresome days. I had kept all the scrolls and histories, the past is not to be forgotten, it is to be learned.
Eventually the books grew irksome. Why was my day so different? I felt like something of great importance was upon me. A walk should cure this, I thought. Just what I need, to wander. I jumped from branch to branch down to the ground.
“Hello.” said a voice.
Now, I told you when Legolas came to me in the woods that one day I resisted screaming. I don’t have this control anymore, apparently.
“Calm down, shhhh.”
Now I look up on to the face of an Elf. An Elf! A male Elf.
“Who are you? What do you want? How did you find me? What are you doing here?” torrents of questions flew automatically from my mouth in Quenya. This was not a surprise, this was beyond surprise. Or was it? The feeling in my stomach no longer seemed strange, faced with this stranger. His face held a familiar look, one I recognized very much. Mirth.
“I am Lasgalen, and I have been looking for you, Anarya.”