The Good, the Bad, and the Hilarious – ROTK Review

by Jan 6, 2004Reviews

Okay, I know it’s hard to portray a book as a movie, but come on!

The Good (not all good things are listed here):

1.I liked that the Palantir took all of the energy out of Aragorn when he saved Pippin

2.The sadness when Merry and Pippin are seperated and don’t know if they’ll see eachother again

3.I REALLY liked the beacons. It was a beautiful, dramatic scene that shows how one small flame can start many, and unite the army against evil.

4.Faramir’s ride to Osgiliath, very sad… along with his dad’s dissapointment and wishing Faramir were dead…very good singing by Billy Boyd too.

5.Aragorn and Arwen’s reunion.

6. I LOVE Arwens recital of the All that is gold does not glitter… line. It sent chills down my spine. Very beautifully creepy music at that scene too, my compliments to Howard Shore. AND, Liv Tyler-EXCELLENT voice for that moment. It was just an outstanding scene.

The Bad… I could go on and on…

1.What happened to Saruman?!?!?!

2.The begining starting out with a worm

3.Smeagol’s flashback was too gross, and should have been in the Two Towers where Gollum utters My name… Smeagol… and is silent for a minute

4.The flag ripping off the post in Rohan fjust about killed me every time I watch it-to this day I break out in laughter! (Don’t know why) But that doesn’t even compare to the ridiculous humour of Denethor flying off the cliff in flames!! Hahahah! He would have had a more honourable death if he ripped his face off, revealing it as a mask, announced that he was a woman, and died giving birth to Gandalf’s child!!

5.Pretty much every part with Frodo and Sam in it, I’ve seen this movie twice, and either I’m really unemotional, or those scenes suck! I mean, Frodo tells off Sam? What happened to the nothing can tear us apart relationship they had at the end of the Fellowship? I agree with the comment about Sam going back only after finding the Lembas and proving his innocence to himself. The whole scene was a waste of time. Also, Frodo foaming at the mouth was disturbing, and…Ew! No, didn’t need that. I cried when I thought Frodo was dead in the books, but i LAUGHED when I saw it in the movie! The whole spidery mummy wrap thing was stupid! He was supposed to look like he was sleeping! Oh yes, he’s just lying in a ball of spider webs sleeping. It’s so dumb that it’s painful to watch! And what is the brown ball stuff on his face? And what’s the green stuff on his face in FOTR when the Nazgul tries to grab him on Arwen’s horse? Why is there always misterious stuff on Frodo’s face? I am embarassed for Elijah Wood. And does anyone agree that Sam looks like a dog in Mordor? What is up with the eye? When it looks at them and Sam says: get down! Frodo hops in the air like a gay rabbit full of helium, and falls to the ground painlessly. And when did they get rid of their orc armor. It just disappeared. And I HATE the part where the camera zooms in on Sam’s mouth saying: Carry it for awhile, Carry it for a while….SHARE THE LOOOOOAAAAADD…….THE LOOOAAADD…….that was really really stupid. And so was the pep talk at Mount Doom, AND, I cant carry it for you, but I can carry you! And, DON’t you let go! Is it necessary for Frodo to fall off the cliff and dangle? Reminds me of the Lion King.

6.Gollum falls off a cliff and then comes back?

7. I HATE the ending song. Does anyone else hate it? It’s not elven like at all! It’s stupid! AAAHHH! IT SUCKS!! How could they end the trilogy with ON THE HOOOORIIIIIIZOOOON!!!!! It sucks! Why not enya? May it be was beautiful!! ERRRR!! What did you do Howard Shore?

8. Yes, I LOVE Orlando Bloom, but the single handed destruction of a Mumakil was too much, I could accept it if it weren’t for that ridiculous surf ride down the trunk. Talk about cheesy. BARF! Tolkien is probably turning in his grave! For crying out loud, let the man rest in peace. I mean, we let the surfing down the steps on a shield while shooting arrows and then the shield flying into an orc slide. Give us a break! This isn’t Steven Spielberg!



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