Went to the movies the other night and saw something called “Sam and Frodo’s Excellent Adventure”. It was way cool, about these two little guys named Sam and Frodo who hadda get rid of some ring or other. They hadda go to this really crapola place, all black and stuff, it was pretty gross. And before they could get in, they hadda fight this giant spider? Sweeeet…..that spider was sweeeeeeeeet!
There was this geeky little guy who was pretty nearly naked and he crawled around a lot and talked to himself. He tried to make trouble between the two main buddies, and he sorta did, but it turned out okay in the end. Except then he fought one a the little guys who was invisible somehow and he bit his finger off and there was blood and stuff, really gross but kinda cool, too. Then they fought some more and the naked guy fell into this lava and stuff and the little good guy nearly fell in too, but who were they trying to kid? I knew he wouldn’t fall, jeez, guys, I’m not that dumb.
There was another part, about some big warrior guy who wanted to be King of some place, but he hadda fight some goblins or something, and there was a mean guy who didn’t want him to be king. There was a wizard dude, too, who could shoot like killer light out of his wand, but he must have used up all his power in one shot, `cause later he hadda, like, smack guys around with his wand. There was a really gorgeous chick with pointy ears, actually I noticed a lot of these guys had pointy ears, too.
And the monsters! Waaaaaaay cool, dudes. I mean, waaaaay cool. Just like the ones in that really old Star Wars, remember? Especially the Snow Walkers? Wow, there was, like, millions of monsters, and that was pretty cool. Cooler than JarJar Binks and the Clones, anyway. Well, a little cooler.
The king guy fought a bunch of monsters and stuff, but he had these skeleton ghosts fighting for him and it was, like, no contest. The old mean guy set himself on fire and jumped off a cliff, and then these flying monsters were swooping around and screeching. It was, like, really intense.
Then there were these sorta giant elephants? And one a these pointy eared Elf guys jumped up on it and he just smoked on that elephant! Man, that elephant went down like a tonna bricks. It was sweeeeeeeet…..!
It had a kinda happy ending, the king guy got to give the pointy eared chick a hot kiss, and the little guys got a cheer from the crowd. Then after a while one of the little guys, Frodo I think it was, went away on a ship with the wizard and another chick with pointy ears. That was it. Someone told me there was a cool video game of this, I gotta see if I can get it.