It lies heavy in my pocket like a red and lidless eye,
I don’t know how I can destroy it but I know I gotta try;
I gotta take it down to Mordor, chuck it in the Crack of Doom
Or Sauron’s hordes will surely triumph and they’re gonna do it soon;
I gotta travel through the wild where no Hobbit’s ever gone
And all the while this voice keeps telling me to put the sucker on;
It seems that recently I find
This ring is gnawing on my mind.
I left Hobbiton last autumn chased by creepy guys in black
Along with Merry, Sam and Pippin and no chance of coming back
We met with Aragorn the Ranger, (pleasant guy, but kinda grim),
He said he’d take us all to Rivendell and keep the Ring from HIM;
We went to Elrond lord of Rivendell to ask him what to do,
He said “The Doom of Middle-earth is nigh; tough, kid, it’s up to you!”
It’s like a fate I don’t deserve
This ring is getting on my nerves!
We lost Gandalf in a pit somewhere down deep in Khazad-Dum;
We got to rest a while in Lorien but had to leave too soon;
Pursued by Gollum (slimy creep) consumed by jealousy and hate
And even Boromir of Gondor eyes me funnily of late;
We have to slog through swamps and Oliphaunts and Orcs and everything
And when it would be swell to vanish I can’t use the stupid Ring!
And then we’re almost into Mordor when I’m suddenly aware
That the last turn led us straight into a giant spider’s lair.
It lies heavy in my pocket like a red and lidless eye
I don’t know how I can destroy it but I know I gotta try
It seems that recently I find, No peace of mind
This ring is gnawing on my mind!
The dead marhes through the eyes of a child who witnessed it. Though it may be your initial reponse, please keep in mind that it is not based off any real characture from Lord of the Rings. I made this one all up. Please comment.