By Lily Took and Nienna Telrunya
O Legolas, you remind me
Of a cup of steaming tea,
You both are so hot,
The fangirls like you a lot.
O Legolas with your blond hair,
You remind me of a chair
With your blank and wooden stare.
But the fangirls don’t care.
O Legolas, bold archer true,
With Gimli, many orcs you slew.
But fangirls do not like the dwarf –
They find him worse than Lieutenant Worf!
O Legolas, prince of Mirkwood,
If only you I understood!
So ethereal and so aloof,
Will you come and patch my roof?
O Legolas, you used to be so smart,
But fangirl drool warped your heart!
Now you are a helpless slave,
Turned hormonal and depraved.
O Legolas with your golden locks,
Greenleaf, you have dirty socks!
That is why I know I must say
“Goodbye!” to you . . . and run away.
I was going to publish this before (long ago when it was written) but I forgot. Sorry.