Legolas and the Dead Fanatic – The sequel to “Catherine loves Legolas”

by Feb 19, 2003Poetry

There was a girl called Catherine B
Who was in love with Legolas G.

She was loved Robert L
But she didn’t give a Hell.

Catherine died from grief.
Robert died because she died.
Legolas just thought,

One day, whilst fighting Orcs,
He heard the all too familier voice of a Dork.
He groaned,
When Catherine moaned:

“Legolas, why did you do that?
It’s not very nice.
Do you want to marry me?
It could still work!”

Legolas screamed and ran,
Sobbing “NO! NO! NO!”
And all his friends were killed.

Dead Robert
Went up to dead Catherine
And said:
“Give up,
Marry me!
We’ll be as happy
As can be!”

But CAtherine just kicked an Orc
(It didn’t really work)
And said:
“Get lost dork”

She floated after Legolas,
“Marry me! MArry me!! MArry me!”

Robert cried and cried,
And died,
For even gohsts can die!

Everyone jeered,
And everyone cheered.
No one cared.

Then Legolas’s dead friends stood up,
And shrugged.
“What was that?”
Said one old dude.

“Beats me.”
Said one already dead dude.

“Hey, your dead!”
Said one hairy dude.

“I’m not the only one.”
Said the already dead dude.

“Do we still have to destroy the ring?”
Said one little dude.

“Search me.”
Said one noble dude.

“Let’s haunt Legolas!”
Said one tiny dude.

They all cheered,
And jeered
At the unfortunate Elf.

Said one wierd, slimy dude.

Everyone moaned,
And ran.


Submit a Comment

Found in Home 5 Reading Room 5 Poetry 5 Legolas and the Dead Fanatic – The sequel to “Catherine loves Legolas”

You may also like…

The Dead Marshes.

The dead marhes through the eyes of a child who witnessed it. Though it may be your initial reponse, please keep in mind that it is not based off any real characture from Lord of the Rings. I made this one all up. Please comment.

read more