Top the Things You Can Do to Seriously Confuse The Fellowship

by Apr 27, 2007Humour

Top ten things you can do to seriously annoy the Fellowship (if, perchance, you find yourself transported to Middle-earth in a Mary Sue-ish fashion…)

10. Tell them about your world
9. Ask Gandalf tirelessly whether or not Balrogs have wings.
8. Ask Gimli if he knows " Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It’s off to work we go".
7. Use as much slang in every sentence as you possibly can.
6. Go up to each individual member of the Fellowship and ask them the time. Whether or not they give you an answer, sigh, and go ask another person. Continue until you have asked them all. Repeat.
5. Attempt to explain politics.
4. Refuse to believe Legolas when he tells you he is an elf. Look at him sternly and tell him that elves don’t exist. Tell him even if they did exist, they wouldn’t be found in temperate zones since they live at the north pole. they wouldn’t be archers either, they make toys, cookies and shoes so they wouldn’t have time. And Santa would get mad. Don’t explain the meaning of temperate. Don’t tell him who Santa is.
3. Sing random songs like "Man! I feel like a woman!" at innopportune moments, such as the mines of Moria, etc.
2. Ask random people (elves, men, Orcs) to pose with you for a picture, at more innopportune moments, ie Helms Deep.


1. After Frodo destroys the Ring, say in your most carefree way, "Hey, why didn’t we just take the eagles to Mt. Doom?" and watch the resulting chaos.

(Feel free to add your own!)


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