An Intruder in Lorien

by Sep 14, 2006Humour

An elf walked through the thick trees in the woods of Lorien. Suddenly, a figure came out through the brush, crawling on all fours.
"Who are you?" asked the elf.
"Why, I am a hobbit, good sir." said the man.
"No, you are not! a hobbit is a little man!"
"I am a litlle man! Why else would I be so close to the ground like this?"
"Hobbits walk on two feet."
The man squatted on the ground. "See? I walk on two feet. I am a hobbit."
"Can you walk like that? I see you stand, not walk."
The man took two, slow, tottering steps. "See? I walk. A hobbit."
"Okay, crazy." the elf started to walk away.
"Goodbye, elfie."
**********************************************************************************************
The same elf was walking through the forest the next day when the man again came out through the brush, this time wearing huge ears strapped to his head.
"Now who are you?" the elf asked.
"I am an Oliphaunt."
"How can you be an Oliphaunt? They are hundreds of feet into the air!"
"I am a very small Oliphaunt."
"I don’t see your trunk."
"I bit it off."
"With what tusks?"
"They fell off."
"Okay. whatever."
"Bye, elfie."
**********************************************************************************************
The elf wasn’t surprised when again the man showed up the next day with long, blonde hair and the "Oliphaunt" ears.
"Let me guess. you’re an elf."
"Yes!"
"The ears are a little big."
"A simple genetic mutation."
"They’re not pointy enough."
"I told you, a genetic mutation!"
"All right. Whatever. See you later, "Elfie."
"That’s my line, elfie."
"Good-bye."
"Bye."
**********************************************************************************************
The man stepped out of the bushes.
"I’m a Giant-"
"-but a very small giant. I get it."
"Exactly!"
"Well, see you later."
"Bye, elfie."
The man went back into the bushes and returned a few minutes later.
"I’m a dwarf!"
"A very tall dwarf?"
"You’re very good at this guessing game."
"You’re a very good actor."
"Dwarf."
"Excuse me?"
"Not actor. Dwarf."
"Right."
"Well, bye, elfie."
"Bye, dwarf."

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