Under the Mallorn Tree with Elbren – For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.

by Dec 3, 2003Lord of the Rings (Movies)

I have been so worried about all of the spoiler changes/omissions concerning Return of the King. I don’t know WHY I worry; PJ is going to make changes and omissions and many I have known about for two years, (ie no Scouring of the Shire). I didn’t even get that upset when I heard that the Voice of Saruman had been cut from the theatrical ROTK release. I mean, PJ and his team not only wrote, but also filmed, Arwen battling at Helm’s Deep. Why should any deviation from Professor Tolkien’s books surprise or dismay us?

It shouldn’t.

And yet, here I am again, a few weeks from the opening of another Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings film, and I am having internal, Gollum versus Smeagolish types of debates about whether or not I will go and see the film.

Oh, I’ll see it. It’s foolish for me to tease myself into even considering that I won’t. I think it makes me feel very brave and eccentric, though, and for those few fleeting moments, that feels pretty darn good.

But, it’s silly. Gollum the Revisionist shall persuade me to see the film while Smeagol will whine and cry about how the Master has betrayed us. Tricked us.

Tricksey Hobbitses. Stupid, fat Hobbitses. Ruins it!


It’s not just Gollum’s persuasion that will win out, though: I am also VERY anxious to see the Eowyn battling the WitchKing scene. I’ve been told that audiences have cheered this scene! Oh, what a thrill it will be to sit in a packed theater of Tolkien fans and have us raise our voices and fists as Eowyn kicks the WitchKing’s arse!

“But no living man am I! You look upon a woman! Eowyn I am, Eomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my liege lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.”

I have threatened before that if PJ doesn’t get this scene right, that I will hunt him down like a dog. What I will do once I find him, I’m not sure; but, I will begin a relentless search.

However, it seems that PJ is safe as I’ve heard, from very reliable sources, that I am going to LOVE this scene.

And I have made a promise to my many Revisionist friends that if this scene is indeed as well done as I’m told it is, I will never utter another word against Mr. Jackson about his LOTR film interpretations.

To them.

And “uttering” is not the same as typing.




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