TORC Discoverer – Episode &: Moobies; The Fellowship of the Moob

by Jul 16, 2004Other News

From Movies to M00bies
Back in the dark days when the trilogy was but a whisper in the breeze across the plains of TORC, the movies forum was formed, within there developed a culture of parodies and discussion, all centered around the rumors of the movies. Great posts were made debating possibilities for the films and there was a deep knowledge of Tolkiens world that lived there.
Then the battle lines were drawn in the Great War and gradually the fun of friends was pushed aside until finally, it arrived.
The first Movie.
Movies became M00bs and the movies forum, once the bastion of a few friends was overrun with fangirls. Everywhere, was bad grammar and spelling, and the folk of movies wept.
But then came Fandom and the fangirls were locked safely away from the m00bs, who were left to return to their discussions on Balrogs and the Scouring.
The Forum had evolved, from the firm friends and Tolkienites of the past into a group more knowledgeable of the Films than the books.
But a few hardened oldbies remained to post. Whistler continued to write parodies and M00bies, although changed remained inherantly M00bish; demanding that all come to them.

The M00b’s We Know
The m00b of today is a creature that has developed through war and strife, through Bakshi and PJ into the knowledgeable, sarcastic creature of today.
Lidless has developed his sarcasm to such an extent that he rarely posts anything longer than three words and can still reduce a less confident person to a lump of jelly.
The there are those such as Iavas_Saar, whose posts are so well developed and written that a regular of Manwe would weep in pleasure at the arguments.
But there are a few things that all m00bs have in common; sarcasm, a need to debate and finally an unrelenting urge to trap N00bs.
Holbytla has been appointed official m00b delegate to the N00bs, and is normally seen carrying a rocket launcher full of helpful information.

M00bs and N00bs
M00bs and N00bs have a long history together.
The M00bies are strongly defensive over their forum and defend it form hapless N00bs with no real knowledge of the movies. They track the N00bs progress through the threads by use of a special spray which coats them when they pass into the forum. When a n00b starts a new thread, the M00bies will converge and examine. If it is well thought out and brings something new to the table than they will be treated like any other poster; with sarcasm and wit. But if they mention Balrogs, wings, Arwen, fords, elves or Helm’s Deep than you can be pretty sure that all M00bies will flock to the thread and destroy the hapless n00b with sarcasm, wit and irony. A deadly combination
The n00bie trap is a movies institution and has taken many forms. For as long as there has been a movies forum and N00bs there has been a n00bie trap and M00bies to build them. For a m00b, there is nothing more satisfying than seeing a freshly caught n00b at their mercy.

Purism Versus Revisionism
Once, long ago there were two distinct species of m00b; the Purist and the Revisionist.
Both desired control over the beautiful lands of movies, and there were bitter battles fought over Balrog wings and the roles of certain female elves.
Their leaders were stubborn and brave, and rallied their troops to wars of flame and trolls, but spent their nights around the fires of both camps intermingling and talking as friends unmindful of the days skirmishes.
Unfortunately the sheer loyalty of the tribes led to inbreeding and they slowly began to die out. The creatures that survived were the sole few who descended from those Purists and Revisionists who interbred and produced the m00bs that we see today.
There are however, in threads long ago locked and buried, a few surviving Purists and Revisionists. They keep a low profile and rarely venture out into the open forum, for fear of being captured and put on show as a fascinating endangered species.

The Language of M00bs
Unlike the common tongues of TORC M00bies has developed its own strong dialect with words inherently M00bish.
With the Osgiliate Dictionary now into it’s second edition we see more and more of the influence of the movies on the forum.
With the standard AAHD and EAHD long adopted into m00bie conversation, there are also some words that are inherently M00bish. Some such as RSWD may have been borrowed by other civilizations, but was first coined here on TORC. Xenarwen, however is claimed by some to be of M00bish origin, but there are other cultures that lay claims on that word too.

The Future of Movies and M00bies
With the final installment of the LOTR Trilogy, one would logically think that M00bies would be left with nothing to do but to close out the old arguments and move on to other Forums.
In reality, Movies will continue forever. Once all topics regarding the Trilogy have been covered, then there will be the speculation of The Hobbit, and comparison of the Trilogy with The Hobbit. There will never be a time when M00bies are without a topic, or N00bs to trap.
Even if they do there will always be the old fallback:

“So, Balrogs? Do they have wings?”


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