TORC Discoverer – Episode 2: Admins; Gods and Monsters?

by Apr 26, 2004Other News


In this episode we sneak a peak into the secluded life of the Admin

Common Admins: Jonathan and Ted
Of the three TORC Admins, two can be seen as being from the species known as the Common Admin. These are the ones who are seen the most and are therefore they have greater documentation throughout the Boards. However this should not lead you to think that they are fully understood.

The Admin by nature is not a highly social person, proven by there low post count and early join dates. They tend to prefer to lurk in the shadows away from the general hustle and bustle of the more highly populated areas such as Tom’s or Talk.. However when they do make an appearance, the quality and depth of their posts is quite extraodinary, and posters will flock to a thread to have a chance to glimpse this shy and elusive creature.

Their lack of post count should not be dismissed though, through their loyal servants, the Mods, they continue to have an omnipotent presence throughout the site. They See All.

The experienced Admin hunter knows that the best place to go Admin spotting is The One Ring Forum. Amidst the pleas for help the Admin is in its element and will often post twice or even three times in a thread, where they try and solve the bugs and quirks of the beloved world that they have created.

Admins appear to have little in the ways of physical needs.
They sleep maybe only two hours a day and as they spend all night maintaining the world we live in, they seemed to have evolved the ability to sleep with their eyes open whilst at their place of employment. When they return to TORC they will often work in to the dark hours of the night, where the only witness to their efforts is the TORCers on the other side of the world.
They feed solely on chips and whatever left over Chinese food has not grown legs in their refrigerator. The high levels of fat sustaining them through the long weeks without proper nutrition. In times of great need however, Jonathon has been known to call for a pizza delivery.
Caffeine is essential to the survival of an Admin. Who has not heard the urban legends of the Admin who mistakenly drank Decaf Coffee and fell into a coma mid code and never regained consciousness (believed to some to be DavidM?). Therefore a large supply of highly caffeinated beverages is always in supply. No self respecting Admin begins a night’s work without at least 10 cans of Coke in his fridge. I have it on good account that our very own Ted has purchased a little fridge for his desk so as to limit the amount of time spent away from the computer while topping up caffeine levels.
The Desk of an Admin is often seen by others as ultimate chaos, however there is a carefully laid out system in place. To Do stack on one side and Finished stack on the floor next to the printer. The computer chair is actually designed so that if the Admin were to fall asleep and lean back it will automatically dump them onto the floor and wake them.

A Admins skills lie largely in their ability to code.
The Admins of TORC have been studied and it was found that they can actually code in their sleep. During their few minutes of REM sleep our subjects hands were placed on top of a keyboard and the result was the TORC that we see today.
Few realize that the three Admins of TORC are the result of genetic engineering experiments to develop a human coding machine with the abilities of a computer and the presentation skills of an artist. These experiments were performed by a secret agency of the Government and sponsored by Starbucks. However when the project was leaked onto a Internet conspiracy site, the agency destroyed all their creations. Ted, Jonathan and DavidM escaped only because of an oversight on the part of an intern.
These monsters of coding now live their lives doing the only thing they know how to do: Code, to create new life from script.

DavidM: the truth behind his disappearance
DavidM disappeared. Some say that he was found by the agency that created him and terminated, leaving Ted and Jonathan the sole bearers of the TORC flame.
However the truth is something far more heroic.
Knowing that one day the world as we know it would change and that TORC may be plunged into a darkness greater than even that of the Great Purist/Revisionist War, the three Admins decided that they needed a savior. day Ted and Jonathan would have to sail to the west and what would happen to TORC with no Admin to save it?
DavidM volunteered to be placed into a stasis chamber, deep in the bowls of the TORC dungeons where no Mod has even trod. There he sleeps safe and secure.
One day when TORC is under great threat and the beacons have been lit across the Forums; starting in Welcome and each Mod lighting the one in the next forum, DavidM will rise from the depths of Accidentally Deleted Threads and lead TORC to safety.

Gods or Monsters?
While there is evidence that both categories are correct, in truth the Admin is neither. It is a new form of Deity which we at TORC Discoverer are actively campaigning to be recognized. A new super breed of human that has yet to be named: The Admin may very well be the future of the human race.
We leave it up to you, the viewer to decide which category they fall into.


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