The Wilderland Times – Printed by the Esgaroth press.

by Mar 15, 2001Other News


The Sensation

Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King under The Mountain, has returned! Or in other words, Thorin, the grandson of Thror came back.

The Company

Thorin came with thirteen more dwarves and a strange creature, calling himself a “hobbit” and going by the proposterous name of “Mr. Baggins”. This “hobbit’s” identity has not yet been confirmed, but he claims that it was he, who saved the lives of the dwarves and apparently not even for the first time. His story will be examined in full later.

Old songs

Many of the citizens of our esteemed township have begun singing songs of an unknown origin (and of which The Master himself disapproves) and a very doubtfull verisimilitude.
These “dangerous” songs (in the words of the City Council spokesman) claim that The River will turn yellow with the gold, brought down form the mountain by Thorin and his Companions.
However it still remains to be seen wether or not this will come to pass, for the Dragon is believed to be very much alive and not growing senile (whatever the youth may say).

The Great Escape

Now we come to the most interesting (and open to speculation) part of our article. It regards how the aforementioned “hobbit” claims that he “rescued” the dwarves.
He told our correspondant that he rescued the dwarves from the halls of the Elven king in the Southern Wood. He said that he managed to get the dwarves out of the cells that they were being held in (for alleged drug-trafficking through the Elven borders) and then pack them into empty barrels (with the assistance of straw), which were going to our magnificent City. He himself travelled on top of one of the barrels, and was planning to get the dwarves out as soon as they reached some inhabited area beyaond the reach of the elves.
It has been claimed, however, by a women from the suburbs (whose identity will not be mentioned for fear of reprisal), that the “hobbit” malignantly stole her dinner. This has not been confirmed, however, for lack of evidence against the “hobbit”.
Even though the dwarves have backed up every word of the “hobbit’s” story, the matter is still prone to considerable debate, for it is believed that the creature has some magical hold over the dwarves and may have intimidated them into telling lies. It remains to be understood how this “Mr. Baggins” managed to escape the watchfullness of the elves himself, and later not be seen by our own raftsmen.
Meanwhile the investigation continues.

Further inside our weekly:
page 2: Great Goblin dead!
page 3: Fire under the Misty Mountains!
page 4: The spiders of mirkwood have fled form the area!
page 5: Hard-liner Bard wins 20% in the municipal elections.
page 6: Weather report by Nostradamus


Submit a Comment

Found in Home 5 News 5 Other News 5 The Wilderland Times – Printed by the Esgaroth press.

You may also like…