The Unexpected Reunion – Prologue

by Aug 2, 2003Other News


According to the legend, Elrond the half elven had four children. Three sons (Elladan, Elrohir and Aragorn, though Aragorn was adopted) and one daughter. Celebrian, wife of Elrond knew only three of them, as Aragorn had been born after she had departed across the sea. Many said she had left due to the torment she had suffered at the hands of the orcs. However, this was not actually the case. Celebrian had actually left for a much more pressing reason; she had discovered Elrond’s secret passion for a certain she elf.

The she-elf (who will remain nameless at present) was so terrified of Celebrian’s balrog-like response to her ‘relationship’ with her husband, she had had a heart attack and died there and then solving a lot of problems, but also leaving one. She had left behind a two-week-old daughter. Elrond promptly insisted that he had nothing to do with her, after all, his hair was black, and her’s was a very dark brown, she had sea grey eyes, where as his were simply grey. When he told his wife this, she had slapped him across the face and told him that the day pigs flew would be the day she believed him. Elrond had been slightly confused over this. He had been certain that he had in fact seen a flying pig in the great hall in Imladris one evening. It had been drinking the wine from his own dear wife’s glass, whilst being on the ceiling at the same time. Quite how the pig had achieved this, the elf lord could not quite fathom. However, being the dutiful Lord of Imladris that he was, he sent the baby (who for the sake of argument he had named Idril) to live in Lorien with his dear mother in law, telling her that his wife had found another elf, had then run off to the grey havens with him, leaving behind an illegitimate daughter and a distressed and abandoned husband. Being the wise and sensible Queen that she was, Galadriel had not believed a word of it, but had made sure Idril was looked after.

Meanwhile, Celebrian had galloped off to the grey havens to tell Cirdan to get a ship ready for her to leave by, had galloped back, slapped her husband again as she told him to behave and look after the children, said goodbye to her children (all of which hadn’t got a clue as to the cause of this manic behaviour) said a few other hasty farewells, and then galloped off to the grey havens singing a nauseous lament about a pair of star crossed elven lovers who died after they broke one anothers’ hearts whilst singing mournful love songs.

Once his wife had left, Elrond decided to tell the residents of Imladris why their lady had left. She had been captured by orcs, and due to the grievous injuries that even he, the most learned and experienced healer of middle earth could not heal, had been forced to depart, lest she die of her wounds. Amidst the wailing and weeping, Glorfindel turned to the elf on his left and commented on how well the lady had looked when he had seen her set off for the grey havens a second time, so maybe their lord was not being terribly truthful. However, like all the elves around him, he had forgotten this by mid evening, as the departure of their lady seemed a good excuse for getting totally drunk. Because of this (as Elrond had cunningly planned) no one remembered how Celebrian had slapped Elrond in front of everyone before she left.

So, now the legends must be altered, for although the Elf Lord had four children, he also had a foster son, which actually makes five. (Unless the counter is a totally drunken elf who is counting the number of pigs on the ceiling, where four can actually mean anything from 1 to about 10. After this point, most elves are far too drunk to even think about counting).


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