THE OSGILIATE DICTIONARY: VOLUME 2
A Guide to Tolkien Book and Movie Terms
Second Edition (October, 2004)
T: Tactdeagol Error – Tuckborough
tactdeagol error (n.) a huge mistake affecting one’s future.
After finding the Ring, the River Hobbit made a tactdeagol error when he failed to run like he!l from his cousin.
Tae Kwon Frodo (n.) Fighting style characterized by one of the combatants being invisible.
Take it! I’m giving “it” to you! (colloq.) an expression of frustration, often heard when one spouse is trying to lure another away from surfing TORC.
talk to the White Hand (colloq.) I am a great evil white wizard and I don’t want to hear what you have to say.
Treebeard: Saruman, you must surrender.
Saruman: Talk to the white hand, Ent-boy.
Taxes Hobbit (n.) One who has been to Mordor and back, and thrown her wealth and sanity to the crack of doom.
telaccountar (n.) Because even Elessar has to pay taxes.
telconference (n.) Meeting called by King Elessar.
Telecontar (n.) King of Gondor who introduced a modernized system of communication.
telefrodo lens (n.) Special macro equipment used by Peter Jackson for closeups of the Ring and Elijah Wood’s eyes.
Telflon ® (n.) a substance sprayed on all elves at birth, enabling them to repel dirt and grime.
“How does he do it, you ask?” snorted Gimli derisively to Gamling . “Not a hair out of place? Perfect manicure? Flawless complexion? One word. Telflon®!”
tengwarped (adj.) Obsessed with Elvish.
You translated “The Bridges of Madison County” into Quenya? That is so tengwarped.
thain-in-the-butt (n.) A Shire ruler who lords it over others.
That Pippin – he’s been such a thain-in-the-butt ever since he got back from gallivanting all around Middle Earth.
tharsbad (colloq., redneck slang) literally translated as “that is bad.”
Over dere . . . that tharsbad.
thengelmajig (n., colloq.) anything to do with King Thengel, the sixteenth ruler of Rohan, or his kingship. – thengelmajiggy
theoblink (n.) blinking the eyes in surprise when a family member shows up unexpectedly. 2. blinking the eyes in surprise when one finds himself laying beneath his horse.
When Eowyn saw the king’s Theoblink, she knew she was in deep doo-doo.
théocracy (n.) What the Rohirrim would have had for three generations, if that last Théo hadn’t up and died on them.
[Word: andurilwest. Definition: Ravennelle]
theodad (n.) a parent who’d rather listen to poisonous lies of his creepy assistant than spend a day at the park with his son, and then is shocked to find that the boy has no respect for his authority.
theodead (adj.) A character who has really, truly bought the farm and WILL NOT be coming back to life, no matter how many eagles and face-lickings you throw at him/her. There’s “dead”, and then there’s theodead.
2. When someone is alive but looks like they should be dead
Theodenethorongilgaladrielessaruman (n.) A character whose identity you cannot recall after reading the book, because his/her name has merged with someone else’s in your memory banks.
That girl elf…What was her name again? Arawyn? Farnagorn? Eorwen?
theodent (n.) A crater-shaped depression caused by a falling horse.
“And I got this theodent in the Crimea,” said Lord Threepwood-Fotherington-Smith-Smythe, pointing to a sizable indentation in his calf.
theodentures (n.) false teeth bared in combat. Grrr . . .
theo-dread (n.) Also known as an actor’s worst nightmare, occurs when an actor finds that his entire screentime in the major blockbuster will be spent dying or dead.
theodreatical (adj.) a highly unlikely scenario made to seem possible by wishful thinking.
After finding his cousin face-down in water with a hole in his chest, Eomer still thought it was theodreatically possible for him to survive the ride home.
théology (n.) the study of Théoden. Going by this, Rohan is a théocracy.
theorectile dysfunction (n.) The inability to stand on your own two feet while under the influence of certain weaselly counsellors. This condition can be easily treated with a housecall from your local white wizard.
theosquint (n.) the habit of narrowing the eyes prior to making a weighty decision or profound announcement.
When the soldiers saw the king’s theosquint, they knew something BIG was up.
théovolution (n.) The historic overthrow of Grima Wormtongue in 3019 of the Third Age of the Sun.
You say you want a théovolution, well you know…we all want to save the wold…
thingol (adj.) Thomeone who ith thtill thearching for a thignificant other.
thorin in your side (colloq.) Having a harmless but irritating person around.
Bilbo not only had the balin chain, but a thorin in his side as well
thorondor (n.) thubmithion, (v.) to thubmit. Thomeone whoth thorondored doethn’t want to fight the enemith anymore.
thranduilion (n.) The amount that comes between a zillion and a jillion. Also see silmarillions.
tied-to-the-fate (n.) an expression which implies an illogical causal connection between two unrelated events.
Barton, convinced that nasty mishap with his neighbor’s toy poodle was tied-to-the-fate of his job interview, was certain he would never find employment again.
tirify (v.) To awe to the point of fear.
The winner of the National Spelling Bee tirified the audience with her knowledge.
tolkaine (n.) a highly addictive substance composed of ink and paper; may be diluted to somewhat lessened potency when applied to celluloid.
While I look quite normal to my co-workers and family, they would be surprised to know I sneak daily doses of tolkaine when no one is looking.
What began as simple experimentation in my childhood has led to a full-blown dependence on tolkaine.
tolkeening (v.) 1. Wails of complaint by purists. 2. Wails of complaint by revisionists.
tookburrow (n.) To (whether voluntarily or not) get oneself caught between tree roots. Alternatively, to get oneself into any tight situation.
tookle (v.) To interfere with things that are none of your business.
tooknical (adj.) finding that something is not exactly what one expects
The Palantir looked easy to operate but Denethor found it too tooknical.
tooknology (n.) an advancement in the communication industry initiated by Peregrin Took. Through trial and error, his improvements on the palantir resulted in mass production and lowered cost, thus enabling most households in Middle Earth to afford one.
Thanks to this new tooknology, Eowyn can get hold of Faramir at mealtime, no matter how hard he tries to avoid it.
[Word: Alberich. Definition and usage: Texas-Hobbit]
tooksidermy (n.) The science of stuffing, mounting, and displaying hobbits.
“The trick to tooksidermy, boy,” said Lurtz to Lurtz Jr., “is ya gotta put ’em in a natural pose. Don’t put fangs on ’em an’ have ’em dunkin’ a basketball.”
tooksperiment (n.) a test performed to determine whether a thing or location is dangerous, usually by throwing stones or dwarf skeletons at or into it.
After a few tooksperiments, the boys established that the neighbor’s dog was not friendly.
trahamatize (v.) to suffer extreme physical or mental shock.
The children were trahamatized when Tinkie-Winkie showed them what was in his purse.
tra-la-la-lally (interj.) Used to express disgust, sarcasm, or boredom.
What? Becky’s dating Jimmy even though Tiffany soooo liked him first? Well, tra-la-la-lally, that’s just great.
transportation of Middle Earth Travelers may choose any of the following: Denethor’s Skydiving School (using himself as an example of why you must always have two parachutes), Fell Beast Airlines (only evil people can ride), Rohan Express (this train is pulled by horses), Corsair Cruises (on an actual enemy ship, full luxurious accommodations, while surrounded by dead people), Eagle Courier (single passenger flying service), Bucklebury Ferry (handy when you are kicked off of Fell Beast Airlines), Stairs of Cirith Ungol (sometimes you just wish they’d fix the escalator)
treebeardbeard (n.) An Ent masquerading as an Entwife.
treebeer (n.) a naturally derived intoxicant.
If Merry had taken one more swig of Treebeer, he would have needed to take a pilgrimage to the Porcelain God.
treebread (n.) mmm, yummy! Don’t you just want to try some! It’s as hard as bark, but you there’re berries in it.
trim the verge (v.) to be up to no good; to use clandestine methods while obtaining confidential information.
“What on Earth is HE doing out there?” exclaimed Peter Jackson as he opened the window to his studio. “Oh, hi PJ!” mumbled George Lucas nervously. “I’m just….um… ..trimming the verge .”
Tuckborough (n.) A surgically adept area of the Shire, populated by unnaturally thinnish hobbits with wrinkle-free faces.
Gandalf might have thought there were other reasons, but everyone knew that Bilbo stayed looking so young only because he paid regular visits to the hobbits at Tuckborough.
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