THE OSGILIATE DICTIONARY: VOLUME 2
A Guide to Tolkien Book and Movie Terms
Second Edition (September, 2004)
S: Sam – Sweeton
sam (n.) a very good friend, one who sticks with you through thick and thin.
I’m lucky to know Gemma: she’s a real sam!
sambidextrous (adj.) able to use the left and right hands with equal skill.
I’m confused. Did PJ reverse the film during Sam’s fight with Shelob or is he just sambidextrous?
sambitious (adj.) desiring one’s past performance to influence future lucrative opportunities.
Now that LotR is behind him, Sean is hoping to find backing to direct a mammoth disaster film in Galveston, Texas. Quite sambitious of him.
sambivalence (n.) continual fluctuation between two attitudes or choices.
Frodo’s sambivalence on the journey up the secret stairs was at the root of most of his troubles later on.
I have a certain sambivalence about fitting into that swimsuit or eating the whole crate of Girl Scout Cookies.
Samborghini (n.) The only transport big enough and classy enough for all of Mayor Sam’s children.
samenities (n.) Utterly useless items carried along on a hike: spices, woks, magnifying glasses, Pippin.
Samerican (adj.) a curious mixture of American and Cockney influences on an accent.
As much as I love Sean Astin, I found his Samerican accent unconvincing at times.
samigo (n.) a faithful friend or pal.
“I’m so lucky to have a samigo like you,” said Starsky to Hutch.
sammath naurtilus (n.) Weight-lifting regime which includes: Hobbit Bench-Presses, Ring Dangles, and Finger Extension & Release.
samplified (adj.) to indulge in extreme expressions of emotion.
Many believe Sean Astin’s samplified scenes on Mt. Doom deserved an Oscar.
samsack (v.) to needlessly alienate one’s friends.
saruman (v.) 1. to lie or deceive.
He sarumanned all afternoon, but the jury saw right through him.
(n.) 2. a traitor.
How dare you join the Opossum Club? You…you saruman!
sarumanella (n.) Food poisoning caused by minute, possessed bacteria.
[Word: Ravennelle; definition, make_it_stop].
sarumangle (v.) to destroy beyond recognition.
“I think all this wartime pressure is getting to the White Wizard,” whispered Staplenose. “Did you hear how he sarumangled the lyrics to “Feelings” at the karaoke bar last night?”
sarumanhandle (v.) To cut a major character out of the final theatrical release of a trilogy, leaving his fate unresolved.
sarumanicure (n.) a fashion affectation, characterized by long, claw-like fingernails.
This weekend, just to irritate me, my teenage son got a tattoo, a nose ring, and a sarumanicure.
saurmonocle (n.) Large, singular corrective lens fitted into place at Barad-Dur at the beginning of the Third Age. Once Sauron hit the big 4-0-0-0, he suddenly found he couldn’t read restaurant menus as well.
As the Shadow grew, it had the added benefit of cutting down on the number of random brushfires started by the sun refracting through the saurmonocle.
sauronade (v.) to honor or seduce someone with a complimentary song.
The always gullible Pippin was charmed by the palantir’s sauronade, a flattering rendition of “You’re Too Sexy for Your Shirt”.
sauroncology (n.) the study and treatment of tumorous growths.
It’s sad. Gothmog spent four months in Mordor Medical Center’s sauroncology ward, but apparently they were unable to do much for him.
Sauronderoos (n.) popular underwear for orc children, printed with drawings of their hero, the Dark Lord.
Mrs. Gothmog couldn’t hold back a chuckle when little Moggoth came prancing down the stairs to breakfast in his new Sauronderoos.
var.: Gondoroos, with choice of Boromir or Faramir designs; often purchased by Faz or Bozguls, whether or not they have little boys to wear them.
saurondipity (n.) finding agreeable things not sought for. adj: saurondipitous
In a saurondipitous turn of events, after the flaming Eye’s demise, he found the adjustment to his new accommodations in Hades much easier than expected.
sauronkraut (n.) shredded, fermented cabbage.
“Forget Old-Toby!” snarled Sauron. “When you raid Maggot’s fields, bring plenty of cabbage. I must have fresh sauronkraut for my chili-dogs or heads will roll.”
Sauronwrap® (n.) clear plastic substance used to keep the Dark Lord’s sandwiches fresh. Adapted by Shelob to dispense in small strips for wrapping victims.
Frodo should have suspected something when he saw the Orc hanging from the ceiling, encased in Sauronwrap .
Saurround Sound (n.) The amplification of lifelike evil noises (screams, whooshes, crashes).
Because I was in the passenger seat of the Yugo when Raoul wandered through the stop sign, we both enjoyed perfect Saurround Sound during the resulting eight-car pileup.
schadenfrodo (n.) Odd feeling of pleasure derived from watching another’s disintegration and suffering.
“Better him than me,” thought Sam, and immediately felt ashamed of his momentary schadenfrodo.
schelub (n.) a lazy person who won’t even get his/her own food and has to have someone lure it to him/her.
Seal of the Stewards (n.) a title given to the seal appointed official mascot of Gondor; any seal in the line of Gondorian mascots. (Barky I – Barky XXVI)
seantificate (v.) To deliver lengthy, esoteric jeremiads on the dialectic of evil while your friends are making crude wee-wee jokes. synonym: bombastin
second dreck-fest (n.) 1. a horrible sequel to a horrible movie 2. an unpleasant situation which repeats itself
“Oh, man,” moaned Sergei as he staggered out of Leprechaun 2, “that was definitely a second dreck-fest.”
seeing moths (v.) foreseeing a happy future.
Bill is so happy now that he is seeing moths.
send your Sam away (v.) 1) to abandon or reject a helping hand 2) to make a really stupid decision, possibly under the influence of others 3) to add or change a scene with the intention of adding dramatic tension or emphasizing a point
I have a bad feeling I just sent my Sam away.
shadowfax (n.) 1. Third Age forerunner of the Internet.
2. shadowfax (abbrev. shax) a form of faxing a document that is extremely fast and does not require a phone line.
“Hurry up boss, I’ve got to shax the report asap.”
shadowfaxing (v.) posting on numerous threads in a benevolent, swift and galloping manner. antonym: trolling (for intent)
I see that TheLidlessEyes has been shadowfaxing again.
shadowtax (n.) an exorbitant tax on luxury or one-of-a-kind items.
“As much as I enjoy the streamlined chassis, the smooth ride and the well-stocked mini-bar in the kid-leather saddle,” admitted Gandalf, “the federal shadowtaxes on this animal are KILLING me.”
Sharksky and Grutch (n.) aliases used by Saruman and Grima while hiding in the Shire.
“Yup, I reported the missing vegetables to the constable,” remarked Farmer Maggot to his wife. “But I warn’t too impressed with those new guys he sent out, Sharksky and Grutch was it? They didn’t seem to know nuthin’ bout investigatin’ no cabbage thieves.”
she-lob (v.) to toss or propel a small object in a high arc.
The huge spider she-lobbed Sam clear across the boulders.
sheloblivious (adj.) having no clue concerning the obvious. synonym: shelobtuse, shelobvious
“It’s sticky? What is it?” thought Gollum gleefully. “What luck to have a blathering, sheloblivious numbskull carrying the Ring!”
shelobotomy (n.) the severing of nerve fibers between the frontal lobes of the brain to relieve mental disorders or tension, achieved by a quick incision with a fang.
Hoo, boy! Denethor sure could use a shelobotomy right about now!
shelobsess (v.) To lie awake at night worrying that a spider will drop from the ceiling into your open mouth as soon as you fall asleep.
shelobvious (adj.) The big, hairy, sticky thing right under your nose.
What do you mean, ‘what’s that nasty thing under my nose?’ Isn’t it shelobvious?
shire-ling (n.) a form of martial art uniquely suited to very short persons who are defending themselves against much larger adversaries. Emphasizes using stones and apples as projectiles and includes frying-pan fencing.
shirony (n.) 1. You meet a particularly horrible and evil old man. You offer to help him. You refrain from yelling horrible stuff at him. You guard his gate. You give him his pipe-weed back. You offer to help him (again). You get to your home and find he has burned it down.
2. The realization that, even though you have been traipsing all around Middle-earth and came home wearing really nifty outfits, you can still be upstaged by a pumpkin.
[word: make_it_stop; definition 1: Elfkin, definition 2: Ravennelle]
shirpa (n.) an obscure breed of Hobbits of the Shire, skilled in mountain climbing.
Frodo and Sam regretted not hiring a shirpa to guide them and carry their gear up the Secret Stair.
shoot the Mûmak in the eyes; charge the Mûmak (v., colloq.) – to deal with a difficult situation forcefully and decisively. To take the bull by the horns.
show your quality (v.) Middle-earth euphemism for “stealing” or “five finger discount”.
Yo, Frank…let’s go “show our quality” at the Kwikee-Mart.
silmarillion (n.) An amount greater than a gazillion, but less than a jillion.
Thus far, LOTR has raked in silmarillions of dollars in ticket sales and merchandising.
silverlode (colloq.) when you really gotta go.
Outta my way! I got a silverlode!
simpelmynde (n.) Small white, star-shaped flower commemorating stupidity.
The simpelmynde is spreading like a carpet over at Pippin’s house.
sindarn (v.) Well, somebody has to mend Celeborn’s socks…
smaugasbord (n.) A vast open display of valuables.
The thieves helped themselves to the smaugasbord that they found laid out in the vault
smeagle (n.) Evil, ring-lusting bird of prey. Compare “deagle”.
Oh no, Mr. Frodo…it’s a smeagle! Run! Oh wait…we’re surrounded by lava. Never mind.
smote his ruin (v.) to win against pretty big odds.
The Cubbies smote his ruin against the hated Yankees to win the World Series.
Spama® (n.) – Traditional breakfast fare of Rohan.
stewardor (n.) Intense devotion to Gondor’s care-takers. (var.: stewardent)
stew-warg of Gondor (n.) a secret ingredient used exclusively by Princess Eowyn of Ithilien in the renowned stews served as the first course of State Dinners. Curiously, invited guests often arrived late. Prisoners of Gondor were given a choice of an invitation to dinner or a public flogging. Most chose flogging.
Stink (n.) Bilbo’s first sword, Stink released an atomized spray of Chanel No. 5 whenever Orcs were in the vicinity. Unfortunately, Stink tended to alert the Orcs to Bilbo’s presence as well.
stoopip (adj.) variation of `stoopfid’ brainless, unthinking.
It was stoopip of me to get the 94 oz. “Super-Duper-Mega-Tank” of Coke before RotK started.
swan-shipper (n.) A fan who believes that Galadriel and Gandalf got very friendly on the way to Valinor.
Sweeton (n.) Sauron’s nice brother.
CONTRIBUTORS: Alberich, Amphiaraus, andurilwest, Axordil, Celebgalad, cuivienen7, ddraigwen, Edhelwen, Elfkin, eomer32, Farawen, Frelga, harpist_of_rohan, ichjua, Jnyusa, Lady_Niwella, Lee, Lembas_Junkie, make_it_stop, Mighty Squid, NazgulRus, PrincessFaz, Ravennelle, Saradoc, shieldmatron, sh_wulff, SonofShelob, soundtrackman, Stupid_Orcs, Teremia, Texas-Hobbit, TheLidlessEyes, Tulkas_The_Valiant, UienenMaia.