THE OSGILIATE DICTIONARY: VOLUME 2
A Guide to Tolkien Book and Movie Terms
Second Edition (September, 2004)
N – O: Narsilize – Ottoman
narsilize (v.) to create something from small pieces; to build back up
The children knocked over their sandcastle, but then decided to narsilize it.
narsilt (n.) The crumbled, charred remains of Sauron’s finger.
Isildur tenderly swept up the Narsilt – it would make good briquettes for the victory barbecue.
narsyllogism (n.) Fragmented shards of logic that don’t relate in any way.
I. All hippos are purple
II. Socrates was a goat
III. Let’s send elves to Helm’s Deep!
nazgall (n.) How dare that upstart Ranger set us on fire?
nazgalore (n.) Describes any situation in which a tenth and eleventh Ringwraith are discovered.
nazgirls (n.) Nazgul groupies, commonly seen riding around on the back of fell-beasts wearing tight leather pants and sporting evil eye tattoos.
Nazgolas (n.) Saruman’s initial plan was to create an immortal winged army by crossing Ring-wraiths with Elves. The experiment was abandoned when the first litter of Nazgolas flew off in search of a Bath & Body store, and never returned.
nazgold (n.) The official currency of Mordor.
nazgruel (n.) The official breakfast of the Witch-King of Angmar.
nazgul (v.) 1. to threaten impotently from above.
At the plant meeting, our boss Nazguls us about what will happen if we fail to produce better numbers, but we know that it will come to nothing.
2. to drop your opponents rather than fighting fairly.
Chris was Nazguled on the court by the opposing team’s player because he was the best at three-point shots.
nazgull (n.) 1. The original, more bird-like breed of Fell Beasts.
2. Seagoing fell beast.
nazgullible (adj.) describing one who unwittingly accepts a questionable gift without considering the terrible cost.
You think he gave you that ring out of kindness? Don’t be so nazgullible!
nazty (adj.) someone who’s particularly evil like the executives at Miramax who won’t get on the ball and hop to it with The Hobbit.
nenya-nenya-nenya! (interj.) Taunt delivered to ringless Elves. Those who engage in such childish behavior are vilyafied by the others.
Nimrodeo Drive (n.) Haute-couture street in Caras Galadhon where designer elf clothing is purveyed: Ralph Lorien, Celevin Klein, Tommy Hilfigwit, etc.
nitwit (v.) (after Figwit’s less successful younger brother) To raise a background character out of obscurity by devoting websites, chat rooms, scholarly articles, etc. to them.
You know that Gondor dude who was eating breakfast when Pippin lit the beacons? My sister’s been nitwitting him, and now he’s got his own Topps card!
no holds Bard (n.) without restrictions; how the people of Dale fought.
Numedelorean (n.) An extravagant, gull-winged conveyance, in which the Dunedain could travel back in time and prevent Ar-Pharazon from marrying Michael J. Fox’s mother.
oliflaunt (v.) To brag about one’s beasts of mass destruction.
“Nyaah nyaah!” the haradrim oliflaunted. “We got big spiky pachyderms and you don’t!”
Olifont (n.) an enormous typeface, typically bundled with Minas-Soft.
For extra emphasis, Gary typed all of his complaint letters in 144-pt. Olifont Stampede Bold.
[Word and definition: Stupid_Orcs. Usage: make_it_stop]
on your Mark (n.) An ineffectual command given to the Rohirrim at the Pelennor, who just charged without waiting for the “get set, GO!” part of the statement.
onenism (n.) To begin something and then forget to finish; i.e., to put Elvish into the script, and then forget to subtitle it.
Onen i estel edayiawhat? Darn it, forgetting to subtitle Elrond and Aragorn’s conversation was such an onenism…
orcade (n.) 1. a place set aside for the amusement of Orcs. You don’t want to go there!
2. Any place or event in which a person or a group of people amuses themselves by inflicted suffering on others.
My boss’s boss showed up at the meeting today and turned it into an Orcade with her criticism.
orcbonics (n.) See Bilbonics, Entbonics
orc-estra (n.) a detachment of Orcs, charged with creating horrible noise for the purpose of distracting and demoralizing the enemy. By extension, any group of untalented musicians.
To Legolas’ Elven ears, the singing of the Rohirrim was little better than an orc-estra.
orcitecture (n.) Hideous, lumpy building style characterized by: impaled enemy skulls, doorways in corners, and oodles of black spiky stuff.
Yegads…Pleasantville’s historic district has been ruined by orcitecture!
orc-mouth (v.) to use foul language and/or put someone down (n.) one who regularly uses foul language or puts people down.
I got bullied by these people in the year above me at my old school – they were right orc-mouths!
orcoco (n.) an overly crude and distasteful style of architecture and decorative arts.
orcodontia (n.) Dentistry that results in one’s teeth looking worse than they did before.
Hey, I love your new yellow, crooked teeth! Who’s your orcodontist?
orconomics (n.) Doctrine that says that everyone is only out to get the most for themselves (now where have I heard that before?)
Orcristco (n.) Sword lubricant.
orctopus (n.) sea creatures or mutated clones of TORC’s beloved Mighty Squid.
Somehow, TORN got hold of Mighty Squid’s DNA for their cloning experimentation and unleashed the Terror of the Orctopus into the hotel swimming pool during last year’s TORC Moot.
(note: I know the difference between a squid and an octopus, but hey, roll with me here.)
orcxymoron (n.) a film critic who claims to have read Tolkien’s work but self-contradicts through his reviews which show utter confusion about the intended message of said work and its film adaptation. Also see stoopip
Roger Ebert’s review of the LotR film trilogy shows him to be a complete orcxymoron.
orlanding (n.) An elaborate, gymnastic method of descent, used in place of a much simpler method.
Jason somersaulted down the stairs, did a half-gainer, and stuck the Orlanding.
Orlando Furioso (n.) Being annoyed with Orlando for varied reasons. (Like, “Your character’s cheapening this classic story and turning it into a mere fangirl swooning and kewl moves event!” and “Oh man, all the girls think about is you!” )
orlando gloom (n.) The feeling an infatuated fangirl gets when she realizes that she is never, ever going to have Orli’s babies.
orligasm (n.) an involuntary spasm resulting in lower-case typing and substitution of numbers for letters e.g. “l3ggy roXXXorzz!!111”. Also see: lijgasm.
orodroom (n.) A man-made entrance into a volcano, designed specifically for casting small evil items into molten lava. Orodrooms all contain 8,000-foot sculpted rock buttresses leading partway into a bottomless pyroclastic pit.
“What do you want to do with this junk mail?”
“Toss it in the orodroom.”
orodruin (v.) 1. annihilate utterly, return to original material [Alberich]
2. to set an impossible task for someone; to choose such a task yourself. (n.) One’s state after having completed such task. Also see silmakill. [Ravennelle]
orthanky-panky (n.) Just exactly what went on inside Saruman’s locked and guarded tower during the third movie? No one is saying.
oscariate (v.) To come into enormous and unexpected success and rewards as a result of osgiliating.
osgalleons (n.) currency of the Empire.
osgiggles (n.) Helpless laughter brought on by clever Osgiliath dictionary entries. Synonyms: argolaugh, eo-whinny, brandychuckle, ROT(K)FL
osgilip (n.) Military back-talk.
Don’t give me none of that osgilip….now go and retake the city!
ottoman (n.) What Dernhelm is.
CONTRIBUTORS: Alberich, Amphiaraus, andurilwest, Axordil, Celebgalad, cuivienen7, ddraigwen, Edhelwen, Elfkin, eomer32, Farawen, Frelga, harpist_of_rohan, ichjua, Jnyusa, Lady_Niwella, Lee, Lembas_Junkie, make_it_stop, Mighty Squid, NazgulRus, PrincessFaz, Ravennelle, Saradoc, shieldmatron, sh_wulff, SonofShelob, soundtrackman, Stupid_Orcs, Teremia, Texas-Hobbit, TheLidlessEyes, Tulkas_The_Valiant, UienenMaia.