THE OSGILIATE DICTIONARY: VOLUME 2
A Guide to Tolkien Book and Movie Terms
Second Edition (August, 2004)
I – L: Ill the Pony – Lothlothario
Ill the Pony (colloq., street slang) great, awesome, faboo.
That was so Ill the Pony!
imladress (n.) A note often found on Elven invitations, indicating that the invited party is to wear sumptuous, effeminate clothing and butterfly hairclips.
isengarden (v.) To alter a landscape by removing all plant life and/or paving it over.
After a few hours of isengardening with Agent Orange, Brad’s “weed problem” was solved.
isengardener (n.) (see brown thumb) a gardening-challenged person who inevitably kills even the most undemanding plants.
I used to have a beautiful lawn and rose bushes in my backyard, but I’m such an isengardener that not even crabgrass survives now.
isengardenhoe (n.) specifically, a female in the employ of the famed Isenguido, providing `entertainment’ for off-duty orcs . Also see: Isengardenrake and Isengarter
Girlfriend, if you don’t go change outta those leopard hotpants, you’ll look like some isengardenhoe!
isengardenrake (n.) a dissolute character, prone to practicing immoral vices.
During its heydey, Isenguido’s gentlemen’s club, “Guido, Orcsquire”, was frequented by many an isengardenrake.
isengargle (v.) To cleanse one’s mouth with Entwash.
isengarter (n.) a lacy band worn around the thigh, favored by Isengardenhoes.
Lurtz carried his girlfriend Bunny’s Isengarter around the hilt of his sword.
Isenguido (n.) an infamous Orcian mafia chief who managed an “escort service” in the tunnels beneath Orthanc.
When Isenguido made an offer, not even Lurtz had the nerve to refuse it.
Ishtari (n.) An ancient order of bloated, high-budget, very bad wizards. Compare atari, who were less sophisticated, crude in appearance, and carried around a supply of quarters with which to “resurrect” themselves.
isuldither (v.) To spend an eternity making up your mind between addiction and responsibility. Destroy the Ring of Power, or keep it for yourself? Root canal, or a night at the slot machines? Free kibble for starving fuzzy puppies, or congressional pay raises? Isuldithering is intensely frustrating to watch.
Ithiliad (n.) Little-known crossover sequel to LOTR and prequel to “Troy”, in which Orlando Bloom and Sean Bean attack Emyn Arnen inside a wooden horse as a practical joke on Faramir.
ithiliate (v.) to stick to the expected path (antonym of “osgiliate”).
ithildim (n.) Anyone who can’t read the writing on the wall.
“Speak friend and enter?” Gandalf asked cluelessly. Frodo rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t be so ithildim–it’s a riddle!”
it’s ten o’clock in the morning and you’re in the House of Elrond (colloq.) customarily spoken in the recovery room of most hospitals, usually after recovering from general anesthesia
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” (colloq.) The first sign that the girl (or guy) next to you is at the wrong convention. (The second sign would probably be the cinnamon buns in her hair.)
jump the Sharkey (v.) (of a character) To disintegrate in value; to become superfluous and locked in a tower.
Saruman kind of jumped the Sharkey in the last movie, didn’t he?
keep your nasty chips! (v.) to refuse something that others insist is wholesome and delectable but you realize will gag and burn you if you touched it.
My coworkers always gorge on donuts at the meetings, but as I’m on Atkins I had to tell them to keep their nasty chips.
khazad (n.) (1) technical language that you need a degree to understand.
My brother only stopped his endless stream of Tolkien trivia when I confessed it was all Khazad to me.
(2)an ancient and exclusive language that no-one really understands any more.
Khazad is a complicated tongue, spoken fluently only by those who have either grown up knowing it or have studied it dedicatedly for roughly twelve thousand years.
3) saying something which sounds as if it means something completely different.
“The Enemy will raze Minas Tirith to the ground!
“Excuse me? How can you raise something to the ground?”
khaza-dumbed (v.) to be struck speechless and/or immobile with fear.
I was going to make a suggestion at the meeting but tripped over my feet and khaza-dumbed it.
khazad-dummy (adj.) The person sitting next to you who shrieks at all the scary parts, causing your entire row to spill Mountain Dew.
The audience had not noticed the enormous spider, until the khazad-dummy helpfully pointed it out.
kingsfoiled! (interj.) 1. I couldn’t find any athelas, Your Highness. 2. Dangnabit, the patient died.
kitteed (ki-teed’, acronym for Kicked To The EE) (adj.) Upstaged. Also k’teed, k’teed off.
When your years of service to the company are ignored by your boss, and someone younger than you is promoted ahead of you, you are not just teed off, you are k’teed off.
Land Roval (n.) Four-wheel-drive and flying vehicle capable of attaining high speeds. Handy for getting out of those life-and-death situations.
last homely house (n.) A really ugly residence on a cul-de-sac.
“My,” said Bilbo politely to Elrond, “Your Last Homely House sure has a lot of personality.”
lavinger (n.) to remain intact a few seconds longer in the mighty stream of molten rock (or one’s day job) than science can account for.
leave Minas Tirith (v.) 1. commit suicide, 2. go somewhere willing to commit suicide in order to please so., 3. get the heck outta The Biggest Battle Ever, 4. try to avoid going to Gondor (see above).
lebennin’ (v.) talking nostalgically about one’s younger days.
Ioreth was lebennin’ on and on about the roses she used to pick as a young lass.
led into a bog (adj.) Led into depressingly obvious danger, which – to the amazement of all those there present – you do not notice till you are in the middle of it and step in a puddle.
left or right? (colloq.) The act of reducing a horrifically complicated decision to very simple–you might even say hobbit-sized–terms. From Mordor, Gandalf–is it left or right?
CABINET MEMBER: “Well, Mr. President, we can either stem the flow of jobs to other countries, thus increasing the job market in the US but also preventing the corporations from increasing their profits, or we can continue to outsource jobs, thus increasing the unemployment rate but possibly lowering consumer prices.”
BUSH: “So…left or right?”
leggolegolegolas (interj.) Shrill cry heard on Christmas morning as the children play with their new modular brick LOTR set. Related terms: “gimmeegimmeegimli”, “unfairamir”.
legoaside (n.) an explanatory comment addressed to no one in particular
In a curious legoaside, Joe leaned over and said, “You know, Britney Spears isn’t really singing that song.”
legolamb (n.) Looks like an elf, tastes like chicken.
legolant (adj.) preternaturally attractive to adolescent females.
legolass (n.) 1. Any female who spends too much time looking troubled and worrying about her hair to get any work done. 2. An incurable Greenleaf fangirl.
legolasskick (v.) to soundly defeat an opponent; to beat to a pulp (n.) a deadly attack.
If you say “Wardrobe Malfunction!” one more time, I’ll give you a legolasskicking you’ll never forget!
legolastic (adj) More flexible than anything known to the laws of physics.
Experiments in zero gravity have led to the manufacture of materials more legolastic than anything imaginable before, outside of the movies
legolize (v.) to accomplish an ordinary task with ridiculous flair and panache; often accompanied by unsuitable music.
2. to glorify something to such an extent that some argue it is cheapened.
lembascatter (n.) (of a crumbled item) To blow every which way in the wind while falling off a cliff, only to land in a neat little pile at the bottom. This phenomenon is frequently observed near aragorges.
lembaste (v.) To speak harshly to a companion under the influence of magical, but severely rationed, food. This replaces the more archaic term “riding the Cram pony”: Don’t mind Bilbo — he’s been riding the Cram pony.
lembicile (n.) 1. a person who stupidly wastes food while at the point of starvation.
“Sam, you lembicile!” exclaimed Frodo. “If you FOUND the Elven bread, why didn’t you bring it with you?”
2. Person with severe dietary limitations resulting in the consumption of only one type of food for long periods of time.
lembusk (v.) To sing for one’s supper.
Celeborn, greatly affected by Merry’s lembusking, stifled a sob and offered him an elvish snack cake.
lemurlas (n.) Anyone (usu. a small child) with an incurable tendency to climb up curtains, stairs, oliphaunts, etc.
léomerick (n.) A form of poetry about Éomer, usually involving lots of triple entendres and pushing the TOS violations to the limit.
Uh-oh, make_it_stop has written another léomerick, look out for the mods!!
light of Eärendil (n.) A synonym for inspiration.
lijgasm (n.) the fit of unbridled frenzy a fangirl gets when she sees Elijah Wood. Also see orligasm.
lobeliate (v.) To hide when unwanted visitors ring the doorbell.
It’s an encyclopedia salesman. Quick! Lobeliate!
lobottomy (n.) (also see shelobotomy) Brain surgery performed by a sword-wielding female.
The audience cheered when Eowyn performed a precise lobottomy on the Witch King of Angmar.
long in the bottom (colloq., der: longbottom leaf) State of confusion, leading to silliness, loss of scruples, or both.
You’ll have to excuse Uncle Merv. He’s been dipping into the wassail bowl and he’s a little long in the bottom tonight.
Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys! (colloq.) a phrase used when you get to have or do something you haven’t been able to get or do for a while.
“It looks like meat’s back on the menu boys!” Jane yelped before stuffing her face with chocolate thus ending her one week diet.
lorded out (adj.) an impossible state, arrived at from too much LOTR (which again, is not possible).
Even though he just ran the marathon, he’s not lorded out.
L’orien (n.) an exclusive line of beauty produces for Elves, guaranteed to give you that ethereal glow.
lorient (v.) to home in quickly on the pleasurable locations and activities amidst potentially unfavorable circumstances.
Moving to a new city was scary at first, but Sarah quickly loriented herself and now is an expert on local dance-clubs.
lose a finger (colloq.) a blessing in disguise.
lothlariat (n.) A cowboy device for roping cattle and then letting them go again quickly (might come in handy in Viggo M’s new movie).
lothlorn (adj.) To be hopelessly smitten with Haldir, Galadriel, or Celeborn.
loth-to-go-rien (adj.) finding oneself reluctant to leave a desirable or restful place.
Admittedly, the Fellowship was loth-to-go-rien once it came time to leave the Golden Wood.
lothlothario (n.) An elf who is constantly on the prowl; one who “plays the trees”.
Is that a spear in your hand, or are you just gil-galad to see me?
CONTRIBUTORS: Alberich, Amphiaraus, andurilwest, Axordil, Celebgalad, cuivienen7, ddraigwen, Edhelwen, Elfkin, eomer32, Farawen, Frelga, harpist_of_rohan, ichjua, Jnyusa, Lady_Niwella, Lee, Lembas_Junkie, make_it_stop, Mighty Squid, NazgulRus, PrincessFaz, Ravennelle, Saradoc, shieldmatron, sh_wulff, SonofShelob, soundtrackman, Stupid_Orcs, Teremia, Texas-Hobbit, TheLidlessEyes, Tulkas_The_Valiant, UienenMaia.