SAM- Lady Galadriel? But wait arn’t you spose to come into the story later?
GALADRIEL V.O- I am? Oh well being a bit early never hurt anyone! Now, where was I? Oh yes…soon you will forget all your troubles when you come acros a great joy…
SAM- No more insane people?
GALADRIEL V.O- No…BURGER KING!!! You shall be healed by the great and wonderful double cheese and bacon burger…
GALADRIEL V.O- Now go in peace Samwise Gamgee….and remembr to take your wallet – those burgers don’t come cheap!
SAM- Wow! Suddenly I’ve got the URGE!
ARAGORN- SAM! dude, hurry up!
ARAGORN- There it is, dudes!
FRODO- There’s what darling?
ARAGORN- Erm….please don’t touch me there….
GANDALF- Oh please! Will you two get a room!
ARAGORN- Don’t look at me,dude! This is that evil turtle’s doing!
FRODO- (grabs Aragorn’s arm) It was the turtle that brought us together!
LEGOLAS- Good God!!!!
GIMLI- What my darling?
GANDALF- Not you two too!!!
LEGOLAS- (To Gandalf) Remember, I want him DEAD! Don’t think I’ve given in to his twisted ways!
GANDALF- Oh right…..Holy Cow!!!
BOROMIR- From all your surprised exclamations I have come to the conclusion that you have seen something of great interest!
(Everyone looks at Boromir weirdly)
GANDALF- I’ll second that!
(Boromir looks up at the MASSIVE Burger King sign above them)
SAM- She was right…….Aragorn, we must follow the sign of GOD!!
SAM- Let’s go to Burger King, you insane weirdo!
ARAGORN- Okay,okay keep your wig on little dude!
LEGOLAS- We can’t go to Burger King, we’ve gotta get to the big M!
ARAGORN- The big M?
LEGOLAS- Yes, You heard Elrond, we’ve gotta get to Mac Donald’s and throw the ring into the fires of Mount Ketchup!
BOROMIR- Erm…..he did?
GIMLI- Leggy, Are you sure?
GANDALF- Somehow that doesn’t seem right…..
FRODO- Lets check the script (pulls out script from pocket)
BOROMIR- He has a SCRIPT?! How come I don’t have one!?
GANDALF- Dunno, must be a Ringbearer thing..
FRODO- Lets see….Attack of the Giant Turtle….gay scene….Sam hears weird voice-over thingy…gay scene….AH! Here we go! Council of Elrond…..Mount Ketchup?
GANDALF- Let me have a look. (take script from Frodo). Gee, the Elf-dude was right!
LEGOLAS- I’M NOT AN ELF-DUDE…….
ARAGORN- But that like can’t be dudes!
BOROMIR- Lets ask that nice lady in brackets!
GANDALF- Bad idea
FRODO- Bad idea
GIMLI- Bad idea
LEGOLAS- Bad idea
MERRY- Erm, what are we talking about?
PIPPIN- Dunno…just follow Gandalf’s lead…Bad idea
MERRY- Oh right…Bad idea
SAM- Bad idea (your insane)
ARAGORN- I know! Lets like ask the funky lady dude in those bracket things….
GANDALF- Great Idea
FRODO- Wow I totally agree!
LEGOLAS- For once I agree with the Dwarf…
MERRY- Hey haven’t we heard that somewhere before?
PIPPIN- Nope, don’t think so..
BOROMIR- Hey how come no-one ever agrees with me?
GANDALF- Dunno, must be a leader thing…
(Honestly, you guys are way behind on schedule! You should have almost reached Boromir’s death place…your not even at the Mines of Moria yet!!)
BOROMIR- I die??
BOROMIR- But why do i have to die??!!
GANDALF- Dunno, must be a brother of Faramir, son of Denathor, Man of Gondor, dumb idiot thing….
(I heard you talking about me..what do you want)
FRODO- Well, you see we’re a bit stuck…Legolas thinks we are going to Mac Donalds and Sam says we should go to Burger King!
(Gee, that’s a tough one! Well, have you checked the script?)
FRODO- Yep and it says we go to Mac Donalds, but it just doesn’t seem natural!
(Well, Frodo, you’re not exactly NATURAL yourself are you?)
(Never mind, well I say what does your heart tell you?)
GANDALF- That Frodo is alive…
(Once again eveyone stares weirdly)
GANDLAF- Sorry,I was just looking through my script..erm..yes..
SAM- Lady Galadriel cam to me in a vision saying we should go to Burger King!
GIMLI- Lady who?
PIPPIN- Isn’t she on that Pantene Pro.V advert?
MERRY- No Pip, that’s Cher!!
PIPPIN- Oh right.
LEGOLAS- No she is the fair and elegent Lady of the Woods!
ARAGORN- Oh her! She’s the annoying dudette who kept trying to sell me Brownies and Herbal esscence Shampoo!
LEGOLAS- Herbal esscence shampoo…..I need some more of that…
BOROMIR- MMMMMM HERBAL ESSCENCE!!
WILL THE FELLOWSHIP BE STUCK IN THIS STICKY SITUATION?WILL BOROMIR COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT HE MAY DIE?WILL LEGOLAS EVER KILL GIMLI?WILL SAM WIN THE BATTLE OF WHO GOES WHERE?WILL ARAGORN EVER GET FRODO AWAY FROM HIM?WILL FROD EVER UNDERSTAND JUST HOW UN-NATURAL HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ARAGORN IS?WILL MERRY AND PIPPIN EVER REALISE CHER IS NOT IN PANTENE PRO.V ADVERTS?WILL GANDALF ALWAYS ANSWER BOROMIR’D QUESTIONS WITH THE SAME WEIRD ANSWERS?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON ‘THE LORD OF THE RINGS’….
(By the way please post any ideas of how Gimli can die on the comments page. Please also post any ideas for the next episode! THANKS!!!- I will mention you at the end it I pick your idea!)