The Homecoming of Elrond. – Or, What Happened When Elrond Reached Valinor.

by Jul 6, 2003Other News

Celeborn, Celebrian, and several other elves are standing on a dock as a tall white ship, bearing Gandalf, Elrond, Haldir, Frodo, Galadriel, Gildor Inglorion, and various other elves pulls up to dock. They tie up the ship and the passengers disembark, Gandalf riding majestically on a slightly green Shadowfax.
Celebrian: My love! I’ve missed you so!
Elrond: Why, thank you. I’ve missed you too, you know.
Celebrian: Hey, where are the boys?
Elrond: Well, um, heheh, they decided to, um, stay in Middle-earth and hunt Orcs as revenge for what happened to you.
Celebrian: WHAT? What about my beautiful, precious, adorable, wonderful, talented, intellegent, lovable daughter Arwen?
Elrond: Um, she, um, heheh, isn’t, um, coming.
Celebrian: WHAT?!?!?!
Elrond: She married Isuldir’s Heir and became mortal I’m sorry honey I tried to stop her I told her you wouldn’t like it I kept them apart as long as I could I told him he had to destroy Sauron and become King of both Gondor and Arnor before he could even ask her to marry him it wasn’t my fault! And besides, we can always have another one, can’t we?
Celebrian: You brute! I knew I made a mistake when I married you! (Punches him)
Galadriel: Hey, no hitting each other in Valinor! This is supposed to be a peaceful, non-violent society!
Elrond: Uuunnngghhh. (Falls to floor unconscious)
Celebrian: Did you hear him! He left all my beautiful babies in Middle-Earth to die! Waaaaaaaaa! (Falls on her mother’s shoulder crying inconsolably)
Galadriel: Ooooof. Somebody get her off me.
Manwe:Hey, I thought we were having lunch with Elwing and Earendil to celebrate Elrond’s homecoming-Hey! Why’s Elrond knocked out on the dock?

Everyone but a puzzled Celeborn and wailing Celebrian begins to laugh hysterically.


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