The Fellowship: Goes To Wal’Mart!

by Dec 9, 2004Other News

(Legolas and Arwen in beauty section)
Legolas: See! Elf Gel! Stuff works great!
Arwen: Oh wow! I’m getting three!
Legolas: I’m getting seven!
(Pippin, Merry, and Gandalf)
Pippin:There’s nothing good to waste our money on! (thinks) Mabey We should get big screen TV?
Merry: Aragorn would be furious!…Let’s go!
Gandalf: (drool)
Pippin: Poor guy, been like that since Sam crushed his second CD player with his frying pan.
(for all who don’t know, Gandalf likes bad and stupid music, and had a CD player with I’m too sexy playing on it, Sam got annoyed and crushed it)
Merry: Pity…TV!
Pippin: Yeah!
(Both run off to find TV)
(Gandalf hears background music and gets idea)
Gandalf: Where’s the radio!
(Runs off into employee back room, Big Butts starts to play.Gandalf slides out and starts to dance)
(Aragorn, Avanwe, and Frodo)
Aragorn: Which deodorant? (to self)
Frodo: How ’bout both? (snikcers)
Avanwe: (chuckles)
Aragorn: Tee-hee
(Sam and Gimli in women’s section)
Gimli: Pink or…Is that Big Butts?
Sam: Yeah it is…Gandalf!
Gimli: We’ve got to get him!
Sam: ( Stands there for a sec, grabs a bra and runs )
Gandalf: Whooo! I like Big Butts and I can not lie!
( Boromir is in baby’s section watching Telly Tubbies picking his nose )
Pippin: Big screen TV!
Merry: Wow…
Pippin: And only 50,000 bucks!
Merry:Hey Pip, Big Butts!
Pippin: It must be…
Both: Gandalf!

Aragorn: Big Butts?
Avanwe: Oh my god! This song is so stupid!
Frodo: I like big butts and I — Oh, uhh, Gandalf!

Legolas: ( dances to beat )
Arwen: Legolas! It’s Gandalf!
Legolas: Oh! Let’s go!

( Everyone is around Gandalf )
All: Gandalf!
Gandalf: Ah, rats!

( Walking out of store )
Aragorn: I can’t belive you guys bought a huge TV!!
Gimli: Dunno, looks cool to me!
Legolas: Can we keep it?
Avanwe and Arwen: Men…
( They drive away )
Pippin: Hey, where’s Boromir?

( Back at store, Boromir is still watching Tally Tubbies, still picking his nose )

Boromir: Ewww…( fling booger )

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