The Fellowship Goes to the Roller-rink – Part 2…

by Sep 2, 2004Other News

“Strider, what happened to you?!?” Pippin and Merry exclaimed as they quickly rolled over to their friend lying in the the corner of the Snack Bar. “You look as worse than Fatty Bolger after a game of Dodge Ball !” said Merry as he helped the long-legged man to his feet. ” No, not quite that bad, Merry,” Pippin disagreed.

” I was rolling away from those Uruks out there and came sliding at full speed straight into this wall. How do you stop on these things, anyway?” Aragorn rubbed his sore behind.
” Oh, that’s easy,” said Merry. ” All you have to do is use your brakes at the end of your toe. Like this; see?” he demonstrated for Aragorn, whirling around a table, and then coming to a gentle stop using his brakes.
” OR, if you’re really good,” said Pippin, ” you learn to come to a hockey stop.” Pippin gently rolled to the other end of the Snack Bar, then, at top speed, came whizzing down to Aragorn as though he would hit him. Aragorn yelled and tried to get out of the way, but in the proccess of doing so, slipped and fell flat on the floor right in front of Pippin’s path. He covered his eyes, unable to look. But Pippin, far from being out of control, twisted and came to a sudden halt, mere inches from Aragorn’s position.
” See?” he said, bending over the trembling ranger and uncovering his eyes. ” That’s how a master does it! Not that you can do it right away; it takes time and talent. I’m exceptionally good, don’t you know. Merry can’t even do that!”
” Can too!” Merry disaproved. ” Didn’t you see me at Buckland Hall? I’m they’re champion skater there! I just don’t show it off like you, Pippin.”
” I resent that! I could beat you with my eyes tied behind my back!”
“Don’t you mean your ‘hands’ ?”
” Yeah! And that too!”
“Very well then, Lord of the Skates,” Merry grinned, ” how’d you like to make a little wager on that?”
” I dare say I will! What’s the bet on?”
” That you enter the Shoot the Duck contest and win it.”
“Fair enough,” said Pippin.
” With your eyes blindfolded.”
” Fine! Okay.”
” And if you lose, you have to buy me a Super-size Slushy Cone.”
“What! Merry, those are huge! Far over a pint! You’ll never be able to finish it!”
” We can make that bet after you lose the contest.” Merry raised an eyebrow. ” So what do you say? Are you in?”
Pippin sulkily thrust his hand into Merry’s, and gave it a hard shake. ” You better believe it! You’ll see I’m a better skater!”

Aragorn groaned, got on his feet, and fell down.

“Perhaps we’d better help him first, though…”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Get back here you little imp!” shouted Gandalf as he waved frantically in the air trying to catch Harry Potter, who was zooming around on a broomstick. “Arg! I HATE Harry Potter!!!” the wizard vented.
Just then Celeborn skated up and halted in front of the quickly advancing Gandalf. With a face as expressionless as a door-knob, he slowly and drearily addressed the wizard. ” Excuse me, Gandalf, but I much desire to speak with you.”
“Not now, Celeborn!” Gandalf shouted as Harry Potter shot across the hall and the Elf King was run over flat.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So, what do you say, darling? Tomorrow night at seven; just you and I…” Boromir gave a suave smile as his skated alongside an elven girl. She tried to brush him away and move ahead with her friends, but he tailed her everywhere she went.
” Would you just leave me alone!” she shrieked frantically. Boromir, far from taking the hint, shook his head pitifully. “Poor thing,” he said, ” hard to take so much of my charm at once, isn’t it?” She gave an exasperated moan. Then, catching sight of the ladies room, an idea came to her and she quickly turned to Boromir. ” I need to use the bathroom, kay? Don’t follow me.”
Before he could answer, she at last zipped away for some rest to a place where he could not follow. Letting out a sigh, he slowed down and sat down on one of the nearby benches, and decided to wait. He pulled out a magazine and read it to pass the time.

He heard skates stop in front of him. Somebody was standing there. Maybe it was the girl again. Boromir quickly put the magazine down and stood up. It wasn’t the girl. In fact, they weren’t even pretty.
“Stupid Man of the West,” growled a huge, towering Uruk-hai, ” tell me where the halflings are!” His breath hissed out from between his fang-like teeth. Acid-colored saliva was dripping off them onto the floor, and a rank smell blew into Boromir’s face. “Speak, dog!” roared Lurtz.
“Uh-uh-uh… why, I think they’re all, um…” Boromir frantically looked around for the hobbits; none of them were in sight. ” I have to go to the bathroom, see ya!”
“Quick as a flash, he darted into the restroom. Turning around to make sure the Uruk wasn’t following, he gave a sigh of relief to find that Lurtz had waited outside. He turned around. There, standing in front of him, was a gigantic Cave Troll. “Great, ” he sighed sarcastically, ” they have a Cave Troll… “

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Gandalf came zooming into the Snack Bar, abrubtly twising to a halt right in front of Aragorn, who had just gotten on his feet again. “Ah! Oof!” The ranger landed with a smack on the floor once again.
” Oops, sorry Aragorn,” said Gandalf. ” Get out of the way. Pippin, Merry! Have you seen that little nuisance of Harry Potter go by? I thought I saw him fly into here somewhere.”
“Nope, didn’t see him, Gandalf,” said Merry. ” But guess what? Pippin bet me a Super-size Slushy that he could win the Shoot the Duck contest blindfolded! He’ll never win, don’t you think?”
” Pippin!” cried Gandalf, horrified.
” But Gandalf, don’t you have any faith in me?”
“Fool of a Took!” the wizard knocked Pippin on the head with his staff. ” The Slushy Machine is broken! You’ll have to repair it if you lose!”
Pippin gulped. This might be harder than he thought.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

” Mr. Frodo, LOOK OOOUT!!!!!” Sam dived forwards and just managed to shove Frodo out of the way of a huge, fat dwarf. Frodo had nearly ran right into him and would have been flattened in an instant.
” Sam! ” Frodo cried. ” What are you doing? Stop pushing me! I’m fine, you hear, fine ! Why do you keep knocking me over like that?”
” I was just trying to help!” Sam said, offended. ” Didn’t you see that dwarf was gonna run you flat as one of my gaffer’s pancakes? You could’ve been killed!”
” Now, Sam, don’t be ridiculous! That slim fellow? More likely I’d have hurt him! And anyway, my Stings won’t let me fall, remember?”
Sam scrathed his head. ” I thought as Master Bilbo had said they would warn you before you fall, not make it impossibe to fall altogether.”
” No, no, you silly Gamgee! Ah well, what can I expet from my gardener? Have I fallen at all yet?”
“Well, no…”
” And have you?”
” Well, yes, six times it is now, but -“
” Then clearly I cannot possibly fall, see? There now, you don’t even need worry about me. Now go and have some fun on your own, would you? Go see if Rosie Cotton will hold your hand for the partner skate!”
” But I made a promise, Master Frodo, a promise! ‘ Don’t you leave him, Samwise Gamgee!’ And I don’t mean to, I don’t mean to.”
Frodo rubbed his forehead, then looked Sam straigh in the eye. ” Sam, I’ve ran out of ways to tell you nicely, so I’ll be blunt: GET LOST! SCRAM!!! BEAT IT, ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!! AND FURTHERMORE… Go home, Sam. Go home.”
Tears welled in Sam’s eyes and he shook his head. Frodo gave him a sad, but firm look, and skated away. Gollum went and joined him for the partner skate. Sam was mad, sad, and helpless all at the same time. Not being able to think of anything better to do, he skated back towards the rental boothe, alone.


(For part 1, go to: )


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