Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
(Jerry walks in)
Jerry:Hey! Welcome to the Jerry Springer Show
Jerry:Today’s topic is “Snivelling little hobbits that steal your
ring of power, then destroy it.” So please give a warm
welcome Dark Lord Sauron!
Audienceclaps and cheers)
(Sauron walks in)
Sauron: Thank you, thank you, its a pleasure to be
here tonight, Jerry!
Jerry:So tell me Sauron, you’re here because……
Sauron: Some little hobbit thingy STOLE my magic
ring of power and then DESTROYS IT!!!!!AAARRRG!!!!
(steam comes off his head)
Jerry: Are you seeking revenge?
Sauron: I would be if I wasn’t sucked into a void!!!
Jerry: So now that you’re back, what are you going
Sauron: (evil grin) Behold! My wonderfully evil plan
(pulls out a blueprint) MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Jerry: Sounds pretty evil, can you tell us about it?
Sauron: Certanly, I’m going to put a CHEESE TAX
on the Shire! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Jerry: A cheese tax?
Sauron: That’s right! We all know every loves cheese!
Am I right?!?!?!?
Random Member: I don’t, I lactose intolerent!
(ZAP!!!!!!, member is dust)
(Sauron lowers finger) Right, SoOoOo I know for a
fact that hobbits LOVE cheese. So if I take control
of all their cheese right? Then I make them pay for
overprised and moldy cheese and they will bow down to
my will!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Jerry: But I have some one here who might have a
thing or two to say about that!
Jerry: Say hello to Frodo Baggins!
Saurongasp) YOU!!!! SO, you’re the one who
destroyed MY ring!!!
Audience:BOOOOOOO!!(throws moldy cheese at him)
Frodo: (ducks cheese) IT WAS EVIL, I HAD TO
Sauron: OH, had to AYE!!!
Jerry: Who told you that you had to destroy it?
Frodo: (covered in cheese) I’m sworn into secrecy!
Sauron: Oh I see, you FELT like destroying my ring!!!
Sauron: (fuming) So you come trotting along and
THROW MY RING INTO MY MOUNTAIN!!!!!
Sauron: OHO!!! SO YOU STEAL MY RING AND THEN
DESTROY IT AYE!!!!!!!
(gets up and bursts into flame)
Frodo: (cowers into corner) I HAD TO! PLEASE
DON’T HURT ME!!!!
Sauron:AAAAAARRRRG!!! I KNEW HOBBITS WERE
A NUISANCE!!(corners Frodo)
(security comes in with hose and a straight jacket
(security wraps Sauron in the straight jacket)
Security: Calm down sir!(Sauron wriggles)
Sauron: I HATE HOBBITS! HATE,HATE,HATE!!!
I’LL GET FRODO BAGGINS AND YOUR LITTLE
(pulled of stage by security)
Jerry: Wow! Well, that’s the end of our show! Tune
in next for “Little hobbits with glowing swords and
shiny crystals”! Bye folks!