Never try to tame an LOTR fan. – Part 1

by Mar 19, 2004Other News

Hi! I’m back! Extra thanks to the people that reviewed my first post! Couldn’t have done this without ya!
Lindsay could handle any psychology case. She had cured a little girl’s fear of turning left, a teenage boy’s obsession with putting green food dye on his food, and endless other cases. But nothing could have prepared her for her next patient. NOTHING………………………
*ominous music plays*
We come to her now in her office, where her 3:00 appointment is only minutes away.

Lindsay: Ah… what a beautiful day. The sun is shining, squirrels are scurrying all over the place, birds are chirping…and I’m making quadruple my normal pay on my next patient!

Now, let me introduce the girl COMING to the 3:00 appointment. Her name is…well, wait. It says here that she refuses to respond to anything but Lúthien. That could be why she’s going to therapy… her previous name was Anastasia.

Well, back to the story again. So along came Lúthien to her appointment. She walked gracefully into the office. This is the point where I, the narrator, leave. Bye!

Lindsay: Oh there you are…*looks at clipboard*….Anastasia. Have a seat.

Lúthien: *looks around completely ignoring Lindsay*

Lindsay:…Anastasia! *Taps Lúthien on the shoulder*

Lúthien: AHH! *pulls out a bow from behind her back, loads it, and aims it a Lindsay* Die you foul orc!

Lindsay: Sorry if I frightened you, here, have a can of pop!

Lúthien: *Shoots aimed arrow at the can sitting on the desk* I will be leaving. My aid is needed in Gondor!

Lindsay: Have a seat. *Sits Lúthien down on a chair*

Lúthien: Why do you force me to stay? My aid is needed in Gondor!

Lindsay: Not right now it isn’t. You are supposed to stay with me for 2 ½ hours. These papers say you have been sent here because of…an obsession with the Lord of the Rings?

Lúthien: I do not think you comprehend me, MY AID is needed in G-O-N-D-O-R RIGHT NOW! The forces of Mordor have been unleashed and I must protect Minas Tirith! *sighs* Dolle na lost! {Your head is empty}

Lindsay: What? *Coughs* Never mind. Now, tell me about yourself.

Lúthien: …………………………………….

Lindsay: Well, speak up!

Lúthien: YOU ARE IN LEAGUE WITH SAURON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lindsay: Wha-

Lúthien: He has ordered you to keep me here so my skills can’t be used in battle! *whips out bow, loads it* But you shall not contain me here! * fires bow, successfully hitting the door*

Lindsay: You are acting-

Lúthien: Speak no more, vile demon of Mordor! Or I shall make sure you never speak again!

Lindsay: Wait-

Lúthien: *Busts door down, loads bow, and begins to fire at every object possible.* Rima! {Run!}

Okay, ready for an action scene too long to be kept in stars?
Lúthien ran and fired several shots at a vending machine. She then tipped it over and shot it again. Meanwhile Lindsay was quickly dialing the nearest mental hospital. Lúthien jumped, shooting as she went, and ran out the door.

Lindsay: *sighs* This may be harder that I thought…


Submit a Comment

Found in Home 5 News 5 Other News 5 Never try to tame an LOTR fan. – Part 1

You may also like…