Movie Quotes That, Thank God, They Didn’t Use – All 800 – Part 2

by Jul 10, 2003Other News

Hama: Who goes there?
Gandalf: I am Mithrandir. Hurry and tell Theoden that a storm is coming. I have ridden all the way from Fangorn to consult with him.
Hama: Ridden? Ridden what?
Gandalf: Ridden a horse!
Hama: I don’t see any horse. That’s just a pair of coconuts you’re rattling!
Gandalf: So what’s wrong with coconuts?
Hama: Well you can’t be using coconuts! Where’d you get ’em? Coconuts are tropical, you know, and this is a temperate clime!
Gandalf: So a bird carried them–a crebain! Now go and tell Theoden….
Hama: A crebain? Now hold on a moment, a five-ounce crebain can not carry a one-pound coconut!
Gandalf: Look, I need to speak with Theoden–
Hama: The airflight velocity of a crebain is–
Gandalf: Summon Theoden at once! We have little time! If you don’t call him, I shall blast this door down through the hall and out the other end!
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Gandalf to Pippin in Moria: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Nazgûl (fictitious meeting): We are the 9 Riders of Nazgûl. Black Knights for the Dark Lord Sauron. We seek The One Ring. Very scary don’t you think? If your master gives us food and shelter for the night, he can join us on our quest.
Sam: Well, I’ll ask him, but I don’t think he’ll be too keen. He’s already got one you see.
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Aragorn: I am your king!
Boromir: Well, I didn’t vote for you.
Aragorn: You don’t vote for kings.
Boromir: Well, how’d you become king then.
Aragorn: The Dark Lord Saurun, at the mouth of the Crack of Doom, held aloft the One Ring, when MY Father smote it from his being, with this SWORD! That is why I’m your king!
Boromir: Look, demented lords dwellin’ in lava pits distributin’ possessed trinkets is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some fanatical pyrotechnic ceremony.
Aragorn: Be Quiet!
Boromir: Well, you can’t expect to wield extreme executive power just `cause some fiery ghoul threw a ring at you.
Aragorn: Shut Up!
Boromir: I mean, if I went around saying I was emperor, just because some charred spectre had lobbed a haunted bit of jewelry at me, they’d put me away.
Aragorn: Shut Up! Will you shut up!
Boromir: Ah! Now we see the violence inherent in the system. Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
Aragorn: Bloody peasant!
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Aragorn: Boromir is dead!
Legolas: No he’s not. He’s just resting.
Aragorn: How can he be resting when he has three arrows in his body pointing in all directions!?!
Legolas: Don’t you see that’s why he’s resting. He needs to recover his strength!
Aragorn: Now look here! He’s dead! DEAD! (starts to slam Boromir’s head against the tree) BORRY! BORRY!!! He’s dead!
Legolas: I don’t believe it! (kicks Boromir) See! He moved!
Aragorn: Of course he moved you kicked him!
Legolas: No I didn’t…
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Prolog: Three shall be the number of the Elven Rings, no more, no less. Four shalt there not be, neither shalt there be Five. Six is right out. Two shalt not be the number of Elven Rings, unless they then proceed to make three.
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Boromir pierced by arrows: Message for you, sir.
Aragorn: Brave, brave Boromir! You shall not have died in vain!
Boromir: Um, I’m not quite dead, sir.
Aragorn: Well, then you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!
Boromir: I-I think I could pull through, sir.
Aragorn: Oh, I see.
Boromir: Actually, I think I could come with you, sir.
Aragorn: No, no sweet Boromir! I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic task in my own particular…(sigh)
Boromir: Idiom, sir?
Aragorn: Idiom! Farewell, sweet Boromir!
Boromir: I’ll, uh, I’ll just stay here then. Shall I, sir?
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Gimli: Let us not go to Lothlorien. `Tis a silly place.
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Haldir (catching Gimli writing ELDAR BEDI NA VÂR! In Lothlorien): No, no! You got it all wrong! Eldar, that’s Quenya, you idiot! The rest of the sentence is in Sindarin! Besides, Quenya is forbidden here! What’s the word for ‘elf’ in Sindarin, hmm?
Gimli: Umm. E-edhel?
Haldir: Edhel. Right! That’s the singular form. Now what’s the plural?
Gimli: Edhil?
Haldir: Exactly! Then what do we have here… bedi. That’s the infinitive for ‘go’. But what we need here is the imperative. Come on, what’s the imperative?!
Gimli: Eh… bedir?
Haldir: No! That’s the present tense! By Ilúvatar, don’t they teach you anything these days!? (grabs Gimli by the beard) You can do it! The imperative…?
Gimli: Aargh! Bado! Bado!
Haldir: That’s right! Now, then. Na vâr. Bâr is the word for ‘home’, right? And what is the original stem word for it? Mbâr. And do you know what that means?
Gimli: Eh?
Haldir: Oh, for cry out loud…After the preposition na you would expect the initial ‘b’ of the object to mutate into a ‘v’, UNLESS the stem of the object begins with ‘mb’, in which case…?
Gimli: I-it mutates into…
Haldir: Yes…!?
Gimli: Into… eh… mâr…?
Haldir: Exactly!! And there you have it: Edhil bado na mâr, ‘Elves go home’! Now write it on the wall for a ten thousand times!!
Monty Python’s Life Of Brian

Gimli: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the elves ever done for us?
Monty Python’s Life Of Brian

Witch King: Are you the Ringbearer?
Frodo: Um. No.
Nazgûl 2: But if he really was the Ringbearer, he wouldn’t say he was one, would he, Number 1?
Witch King: Oh, that’s true!
Frodo: All right then. Yes, I am the Ringbearer!
Nazgûls: He is the Ringbearer!! He is the Ringbearer!!
Monty Python’s Life Of Brian

Arwen: I can’t believe it. I’m in love with a talented, rich, handsome elf.
Aragorn: Elf?
Arwen: Not that the title’s important, of course!
Aragorn: I’m not an elf.
Arwen: Not an elf?
Aragorn: I’m a ranger.
Arwen: A *ranger*?!
Moulin Rouge

Grishnah: Any last requests?
Merry: Yeah, loosen the knot and let me go.
The Mummy

Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: No.
Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: No.
Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: No!
Pippin: Are we (Strider stabs his knife right between Pippin’s fingers.) Wow, that’s amazing! Perfect aim!
Strider: What are you talking about? I missed.
The Mummy Returns

Saruman (to Gandalf the White): Are you mocking me with that outfit?
My Cousin Vinny

Aragorn: It’s true what they say: Elves and men don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.
Naked Gun

Merry after Theoden’s death: Eomer, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man in this army will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.
Naked Gun

Gandalf entering Moria: Like a dwarf at a urinal, we’re going to have to stay on our toes.
Naked Gun 1/3

Gandalf in Bag End: Frodo, if I knew the answers to everything, I would be teaching theology in Paris.
The Name Of The Rose

Frodo in Mordor: What are we doing here?
Sam: Well hopefully each other if all goes as planned.

Frodo in Dead Marshes: For future reference you should know that the living tend to interest me just a little more than the dead do.
The Net

Sam: I figured you’d be hungry, so I stopped on the way over. I got your favorite, taters.
Gollum: Um, it’s *your* favorite. I never really cared for it, remember?
Sam: Ah, it’s immaterial, I knew it was somebody’s favorite.
The Net

Merry in Fangorn: God, we’re pathetic, aren’t we?
Pippin: Excuse me?
Merry: Well, we’re here. We’re sitting in the most perfect forest in the world, and all we can think about is—
Pippin: Where I can hook up my modem?
Merry: Yeah, exactly.
The Net

Denethor: …I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!

Balrog: We’re dropping 2,000 feet!
Gandalf: It’s all right, dear. Don’t start worrying ’til we get down 1,999. The last foot is dangerous.
Never Give A Sucker An Even Break

Frodo in Bree: Chief, if I were surrounded by say six or eight of these things, would I stand a chance?
Aragorn: Well, if you had a gun, shoot ’em in the head. If you didn’t, get a torch and burn ’em, they go up pretty easy. Beat em or burn em.
Night Of The Living Dead

Boromir at bridge: People first, things second.
A Night To Remember

Lurtz: In my dreams I’m beautiful. And baaad!
A Nightmare On Elm Street 3

Frodo outside Cirith Ungol: We have matching luggage again.
Sam: The elven cloaks?
Frodo: The bags under your eyes.
A Nightmare On Elm Street 4

Aragorn to Lurtz: Now, anyone who would like to disagree with me, would you please raise your right hand. (Looks around) If you’ve got one.
No Escape

Aragorn after Boromir’s death: This matter is best disposed of from a great height, over water.
North By Northwest

Gandalf to Frodo in Bag End: I’m going to tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins.
Notting Hill

Aragorn: I live in the wilds. You live in Rivendell. Everyone in the world knows who you are.
Arwen: I’m also just an elf, standing in front of a man, asking him to love her.
Notting Hill

Legolas: Arwen’s an elf. You know what happens to mortals who get involved with elves.
Aragorn: Buggered, is it?
Legolas: Every time.
Notting Hill

Arwen to Aragorn: My friend says if you were any more handsome it would be a crime. It’s a shame you’re such an ***.
Nurse Betty

Boromir: You ever been with a woman?
Aragorn: I gotta get the family farm back before I start worrying about that.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Boromir to Merry / Pippin: You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

At end of FOTR…
Legolas: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Aragorn: Well Leggy, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain’t the consensus view, then hell, let’s put it to a vote.
Legolas: Suits me. I’m voting for yours truly.
Aragorn: Well I’m voting for yours truly too.
(Aragorn and Legolas look at Gimli for the deciding vote.)
Gimli: Okay… I’m with you fellas.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Eomer upon meeting Aragorn: No one’s gonna pick three dirty, unshaved strangers -and one of them a know-it-all who can’t keep his trap shut.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Legolas in Moria: Well, it didn’t look like a two-horse town, but try finding a decent hair jelly.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Boromir to Aragorn: You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Sam to Frodo: We’re too old to settle for a twin-bedded friendship.
The Object Of My Affection

Elrond: You a queer?
Boromir: Hell no sir!
Elrond: Where you from, boy?
Boromir: Minis Tirith, Gondor, sir.
Elrond: Ah! Only two things come out of Gondor. Steers and queers. I don’t see no hor…oh, there’s one hanging from your belt.
An Officer And A Gentleman

Aragorn: Sometimes there seems like times that men ain’t got no need for women.
Arwen: There’s sometimes women ain’t got no need for men.
Aragorn: Yeah, but who wants to be dead?

Celeborn: You are a pretty old dame, aren’t you. What are you doing with a dotty old son-of-a-***** like me?
Galadriel: Well… I haven’t the faintest idea.
On Golden Pond

Boromir: You don’t understand! I could’ve had class. I could’ve been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.
On The Waterfront

Sam to Gollum: You’re probably a blessing in disguise. ******* good disguise.
The Opposite Of Sex

Arwen to herself: Why did he grow that beard? And his posture! He looks like Early Man.
The Opposite Of Sex

Most females: Orlando, to me you were and always will be, whether male or female, the pink, the pearl, and the perfection of your sex.
Orlando (word for word quote)

Frodo to Gandalf in Bag End: Oh, man, if I wasn’t stoned there is no way you would have talked me into this!
Out Of Sight

Frodo: Now, don’t tell me you’ve never been with a woman.
Sam: No, sir I haven’t.
Frodo: Well, that, that’s terrible! Did you know you could go blind?
Paint Your Wagon

Sauron: Always bet on black.
Passenger 57

Lurtz: Who’s in charge?
Orc breeder: I am.
(Lurtz strangles the breeder)
Lurtz: Once again, who’s in charge?
Orc minion: You are.
Lurtz: Excellent.
Passenger 57

Aragorn at Helm’s Deep: Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.

Gandalf to Merry: Thirty years from now, when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you, `What did you do in the great World War Of The Ring,’ you won’t have to say, `Well… I shoveled **** in Buckland.’

Pippin: They’re ivory. Only a pimp from a cheap New Orleans whorehouse would carry a pearl-handled pipe.

Legolas: I got to take a shower.
Gimli: What?!
Legolas: I smell horrible.
Gimli: No you don’t! You smell like a rose or something.
Legolas: Are you sure?
Gimli: Yeah, yeah, I’m sure.
Pay It Forward

Lurtz to Boromir: You tell me where he is, and I’ll kill you quick. You can die without ever finding out what your left ball tastes like.

Gandalf: You will not take action without authorization.
Aragorn: What do you think I am, some gung-ho, stupid son of a *****?
Gandalf: No, I don’t think you’re stupid.
The Peacemaker

Aragorn: Where the hell is my military liason?!
Boromir: Colonel Boromir reporting as ordered, sir. I’m sorry about in the Council, sometimes my enthusiasm gets the better of me.
Aragorn: No problem. Would you like some coffee?
Boromir: I’d love some.
Aragorn: It’s over there.
The Peacemaker

Boromir at Council: El Boy, you can run your charts and your theories all you want. In the field, this is how it works: the good guys, that’s us, we chase the bad guys. And they don’t all wear black robes.
The Peacemaker

Gandalf at Council: I’m not afraid of the maiar who wants ten rings, El Boy. I’m terrified of the maiar who only wants one.
The Peacemaker

Boromir at Council: That’s your plan? That’s your ******* plan?
Elrond: That’s the plan.
The Peacemaker

Gandalf the White: Returning from the dead wasn’t all that I expected… but that’s life.
Pearl Harbor

Gandalf: When did you find religion, son?
Frodo: Right after you assigned me to this mission, sir.
Pearl Harbor

Gandalf: Frodo, I don’t mean to be intrusive, but are you having problems with Sam?
Frodo: A lot of things are confusing right now, Sam is just one of them.
Gandalf: Is Sam pressuring you into doing things you don’t think you should be doing?
Frodo: What do you mean?
Gandalf Frodo, you know what a penis is? Stay away from it!
Peggy Sue Got Married

Frodo: Lurtz, if you had a chance to go back and do it all differently, what would you have changed?
Gollum: Well, I would have taken better care of my teeth.
Peggy Sue Got Married

Arwen: I am a grown woman with a life time of experience that you can’t understand.
Aragorn: Yeah, girls mature faster than guys.
Peggy Sue Got Married

Gollum: I always find the fishesses. Always!
A Perfect Storm

Merry: This is good, Pip. I think you’re a good cook.
Pippin: No, I’m not. I only make two things pretty well: nice crispy bacon and, um, sausages.
Merry: Hmm. Which is this?

Frodo: This is the most fantastic story I’ve ever heard.
Gandalf: And every word of it’s true, too.
Frodo: That’s the fantastic part of it.
Plan 9 From Outer Space

Sam after ring destroyed: We’d have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.
Planes, Trains And Automobiles

Elrond: I can’t help thinking that somewhere in the universe there has to be something better than man. Has to be.
Planet Of The Apes

Theoden: Aragorn, I got a bad feeling on this one, all right? I mean I got a bad feeling! I don’t think I’m gonna make it outta here! D’ya understand what I’m sayin’ to you?
Aragorn: Everybody gotta die some time.

Boromir: Hey, Frodo, how in the **** you get here anyway? You look educated.
Frodo: I volunteered for it.
Boromir: You did what?
Frodo: I volunteered. I dropped out of the Shire, told ’em I wanted adventure, Mordor.
Boromir: You volunteered for this ****?
Frodo: Believe that?
Boromir: You’s a crazy ******.

Frodo: When you smoke that s–t everything kind of gets weird, you know what I mean? You heard that story about Saruman putting chemicals in the grass so we don’t fight and become pacifists?

Legolas at Amon Hen: I’m scared Aragorn.
Aragorn: Bull****! You ain’t afraid of no man!
Legolas: There’s something out there waiting for us, and it ain’t no man. We’re all gonna die.

Gandalf: I’ll be back.

Aragorn to Lurtz: You’re one ugly mother******.

Lurtz to Boromir: I’ve got a message for you, and you’re not going to like it. `Pray for death.’
Prince Of Darkness

Isildur to Sauron: Hello! My name is Isildur. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
The Princess Bride

Frodo in boat: You are sure nobody’s following us?
Aragorn: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable! No one in Gondor knows what we’ve done, and no one in Mordor could have gotten here so fast. –Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
Frodo: No reason. It’s only… I just happened to look behind us and something is there.
Aragorn: What?! Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise.
The Princess Bride

Sam: I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only only waiting around to kill you.
Gollum: That does put a damper on our relationship.
The Princess Bride

Gandalf the White: I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have four fingers on your right hand?
Frodo: Do you always begin conversations this way?
The Princess Bride

Boromir: Who are you?
Strider: No one of consequence.
Boromir: I must know…
Strider: Get used to disappointment.
Boromir: ‘kay.
The Princess Bride

Elrond: Fate doesn’t always make the right men kings.
The Prisoner Of Zenda

Lurtz: Isn’t it a pity to lose a head like this?
The Private Life Of Henry VIII

Boromir: Go to hell.
Frodo: Yes sir. I’m on my way.
The Professionals

Aragorn: You know how an Elf general’s daughter gets back at daddy? (Arwen shrugs) She marries a human.
Proof Of Life

Sam (in Mordor): You okay?
Frodo: No. I’m pretty ******* far from being okay.
Pulp Fiction

Aragorn: And you know what they call a… a… a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Lorien?
Boromir: They don’t call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Aragorn: No man, they got the elf system. They wouldn’t know what the **** a Quarter Pounder is.
Boromir: Then what do they call it?
Aragorn: They call it a `Silmaril’ with cheese.
Boromir: A `Silmaril’ with cheese! What do they call a Big Mac?
Aragorn: A Big Mac’s a Big Mac, but they call it `e Big-Mac’.
Boromir: E Big-Mac! Ha ha ha ha! What do they call a Whopper?
Aragorn: I dunno, I didn’t go into Elven King.
Pulp Fiction

Sam: Have you ever given a hobbit a foot massage?
Pulp Fiction

Witch King: What does Sauron look like?
Frodo: What?
Witch King: (pointing his sword) Say `what’ again. SAY `WHAT’ AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, mother******! Say `what’ one more god*** time!
Frodo: He’s b-b-black…
Witch King: Go on.
Frodo: He’s bald…
Witch King: Does he look like a *****?
Frodo: What?
(Witch King stabs Frodo in shoulder)
Witch King: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A *****?
Frodo: NO!
Witch King: Then why you trying to **** him like a *****.
Pulp Fiction

Merry: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Pulp Fiction

Aragorn: Hand me my sword.
Boromir: Which one is it?
Aragorn: It’s the one with `bad motherf******written on it. In Elvish
Pulp Fiction

Aragorn meeting Merry and Pippin at Isengard: You guys look like… What do they look like, Leggy?
Legolas: Dorks. They look like a couple of dorks.
Pippin: Ha-ha-ha. They’re elf cloaks, mother******.
Pulp Fiction

Legolas: Mmmm-hmmm! This is a tasty Lembas-burger!
Pulp Fiction

Elrond to Gandalf: What! No don’t bring the ring here! I don’t know you. Why are you calling me? Hang up! Prank call. Prank call!!!!
Pulp Fiction

Gandalf to Theoden: I don’t wanna hear about no mother****** ifs. All I wanna hear from yo’ ass is, You ain’t got no problem, Big G. I’m on the mother******. Go back in there, chill that Ranger out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly.
Pulp Fiction

Sauron: I’m prepared to scour Middle Earth for that mother******. If Baggins goes to Gondor, I want an orc waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass.
Pulp Fiction

Gimli: Who’s pony is this?
Legolas: It’s a horse, baby
Gimli: Who’s horse is this?
Legolas: It’s Hama’s.
Gimli: Who’s Hama?
Legolas: Hama’s dead baby, Hama’s dead.
Pulp Fiction

Gandalf: And another thing, Frodo. Nobody knows about this but you and me and Mr. soon-to-be-living-the-rest-of-his-short-assed-life-in-agonizing-pain-Gollum
Pulp Fiction

Gwaihir (to Moth): That’s thirty minutes away. I’ll be there in ten.
Pulp Fiction

Gimli to Legolas, as Balrog shows up: We should have brought shotguns for this job.
Pulp Fiction

Aragorn: ‘Ere, I never realized.
Gandalf the Grey: Never realized what?
Aragorn: You’s a wizard.
Gandalf the Grey: What, am I black or something?
Aragorn: Well you ain’t exactly white in that sort of get up, are you?

Frodo (at Amon Hen): I vant to be alone.
Queen Christina

Legolas: Is it possible? Is it possible to improve on *perfection*?
The Quick And The Dead

Aragorn: I need a woman.
Arwen: You need a bath.
The Quick And The Dead

Boromir: How can we know who is good – and who is evil?
Aragorn: All we can do is guard against our own corruption.

Arwen: You’ve already stolen my heart… as well as another more prominent organ, south of the Equator.

Arwen: You know, Eowyn isn’t universally loved. She tried to steal Aragorn from me. She’s a Melrose Place super-***.
The Rage: Carrie 2

Boromir: Why did it have to be a cave troll? I hate cave trolls.
Raiders Of The Lost Ark

Gandalf: Meet me at the Prancing Pony. Be ready for me. I’m going after that wizard.
Frodo: How?
Gandalf: I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go.
Raiders Of The Lost Ark

Aragorn to Legolas after Boromir’s death: What you have to understand is, four days ago he was only my brother in name. And this morning we had pancakes.
Rain Man

Boromir: I get my boxer shorts at Minis Tirith in Gondor.
Gandalf: We’re not going to Gondor so don’t even start with that.
Boromir: 400 Oak Street.
Gandalf: We’re not going back Gondor to pick up boxer shorts.
Boromir: Oak and Burnette in Gondor.
Gandalf: What did I say, Borry? You hear me, I know you hear me.
Boromir: My boxer shorts.
Gandalf: You don’t fool me with this sh-t for a second.
Boromir: These are too tight.
Boromir: Gondor is a long way off. We’re getting further away from Minis Tirith.
Gandalf: You don’t have to go to Gondor to get a pair of underwear from Minis Tirith.
Boromir: Have to go to Minis Tirith, 400 Oak Street.
Gandalf: What did I tell you? We are not going to Gondor and that’s final!
Rain Man

Theoden at Helm’s Deep: What do we do?
Aragorn: Well, surrounding them’s out.
Rambo III

Aragorn: Who are you?
Lurtz: Your worst nightmare.
Rambo III

Frodo: All that hate’ll burn you up.
Gollum: Keeps me warm.
Red Dawn

Hama: You leave your weapons with those guys over there.
Aragorn: No way. A ranger never relinquishes his sword. (The gang all point their swords at him.) Here you go.
Red Heat

Arwen re Aragorn: Seven decapitations in one week. Don’t you just hate someone who only takes head and never gives it?
The Relic

Aragorn: Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory… lasts forever.
The Replacements

Aragorn: A real man admits his fears. That’s what I’m asking you to do here tonight. Who wants to go first?
Frodo: I’m afraid of spiders, Coach.
The Replacements

Boromir (dying): Aragorn, I never did like you. Oh, but God, hold me tight.
Return Of The Living Dead

Sauron to Frodo: Do you wanna know who’s really got the power? Bring your ass to the tower.

Frodo: We’re the good guys. Why are we running?
Aragorn: We’re not running. We’re eluding.
Rising Sun

Frodo to Boromir: No man controls my destiny. Especially not one who attacks downwind and reeks of garlic.
Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves

Aragorn to Arwen and Eowyn: You! My room. 10:30 tonight. You! 10:45… And bring a friend.
Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves

Boromir: My brother…
Aragorn: I have a brother? I HAVE A BROTHER!
Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves

Boromir: My father was not a Sauron worshipper, and I’ll have words with anyone who says otherwise.
Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves

Saruman: Bring him to me unspoiled. FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I WILL HAVE SOMETHING PURE!
Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves

Legolas (looking at the orcs outside Helm’s Deep): How many?
Aragorn: 10,000.
Legolas: 10,000?
Gimli: (further away) How many?
Legolas: 50! (to Aragorn) He can’t count anyway.
Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves

Orc to Gandalf: I remember you! We killed you!

Aragorn to Frodo: I’m fed up saving your ass. I’m amazed you made it past puberty.
The Rock

Boromir looking at the moving `dead’ orc: Are they supposed to move like that?
Aragorn: What do you want me to do? Kill him again?
The Rock

Gandalf to Elrond: Well, I’m one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first magic set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since.
The Rock

Aragorn: Have you ever been in a combat situation?
Frodo: Define combat, sir.
Aragorn: Leggy…
Legolas: An incursion overland to unmake an invincible ring pursued by an elite team of Uruk-Hai carrying 15 guided rockets armed with VX poison gas.
Frodo: Oh. In that case, no, sir.
The Rock

Frodo in the tower: I’d take pleasure in guttin’ you boy. I’d take pleasure… in guttin’ you… boy. I’d… take… pleasure… in guttin’ you… boy.
The Rock

Gandalf: Hi, I’m an agent with the Maiar… MBI… I’m Gandalf Greyhame.
Aragorn: But of course you are.
Gandalf: Of course.
Aragorn: And you have an emergency.
Gandalf: Right.
Aragorn: And you need my help.
Gandalf: Exactly right.
Aragorn: Tea?
Gandalf: No, I’m fine, thank you.
Aragorn: Offer *me* tea.
The Rock

Merry: What kind of a ****** up tour is this?
The Rock

Gandalf: Are you sure you’re ready for this?
Sam: I’ll do my best.
Gandalf: Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and **** the prom queen!
Sam: Rosie is the prom queen.
Gandalf: Really?
Sam: Yeah!
The Rock

Gandalf: I’m sure all this will make a great bed time story for your kids.
Pippin: Are you kidding! They’ll have nightmares. I’ll end up spending all my money on shrinks.
The Rock

Gollum: I have a unique knowledge of this prison facility. I was formerly a guest here.
The Rock

Aragorn arriving in Lothlorien: I want a suite, a shower, a shave, the feel of a suit.
Galadriel: May I also suggest a haircut?
Aragorn: Why, am I out of style?
Galadriel: Unless you’re a 20 year old guitarist from Seattle.
The Rock

Sauron (donning headgear): How do I look?
Mouth Of Sauron: Like a hood ornament.
The Rocketeer

Aragorn: I can’t do it.
Arwen: What?
Aragorn: I can’t beat him.
Arwen: Sauron?
Aragorn: Yeah. I been out there walkin’ around, thinkin’. I mean, who am I kiddin’? I ain’t even in the guy’s league.
Arwen: What are we gonna do?
Aragorn: I don’t know.
Arwen: You worked so hard.
Aragorn: Yeah, that don’t matter. ‘Cause I was nobody before.
Arwen: Don’t say that.

Aragorn: Why do you wanna fight?
Lurtz: Because I can’t sing or dance.

Mouth Of Sauron (during Sauron’s retraining): You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and crap thunder.
Rocky II

Aragorn: What’s your prediction for the fight?
Lurtz: My prediction? Pain.
Rocky III

Elrond: And crawling on this planet’s face, some insects called the human race.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Aragorn: What have you done to Frodo?!
Boromir: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Galadriel: Enchanté. Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes you all have. But here. Put these elven cloaks on. They’ll make you feel less… vulnerable. It’s not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them… hospitality.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Legolas: Pippin!
Pippin: Legolas!
Gandalf: Pippin!
Pippin: Gandalf!
Merry: Gimli!
(Gimli grunts)
Legolas: Pippin!
Pippin: Legolas!
Gandalf: Pippin!
Pippin: Gandalf!
Merry: Gimli!
(Gimli grunts)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Arwen: I’ve never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it’s MOST unusual.
Roman Holiday

Aragorn to Lurtz: You left out the biggest mistake of all: killing my brother. VERY big mistake.
Romeo Must Die

Aragorn to Legolas: You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny.
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion

Bilbo to Frodo: Listen, here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour at the Council table, then you ARE the sucker.

Grishnah: I really admire your shoes.
Merry: What?
Grishnah: I love your shoes.
Merry: What do ya mean?
Grishnah: And I was just thinking: as much as I really admire your shoes, and as much as I’d love to have a pair just like them, I really wouldn’t want to be *in* your oh, you hobbits don’t have footwear

Frodo to Sam: Look, I guarantee that we’ll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you’re the only one for me.
Runaway Bride

Farmir to Frodo: We can hang in my crib. I will show you my ‘hood.
Rush Hour

Frodo flying from Mt. Doom: How long this flight?
Gwaihir: Fifteen hours.
Frodo: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?
Sam: Huh! War! Uh! `yaw’, what is it good for? Absolutely no-thing!
Frodo: Oh, hell no! Gwaihir! Get me another seat!
Rush Hour

Pippin: Ah! Elven work!
Aragorn: Oh, hell no! You didn’t just touch my ******* sword!
Pippin: The Elven smiths are great sword makers.
Aragorn: The Elven smiths gonna get you a great ass whuppin’. Don’t you ever touch a ranger’s sword, boy! You can do that in Hobbiton but you can get your ass killed out here, man!
Rush Hour

Legolas: Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I spend a long time on my hair and he hit it; he hit my hair.
Saturday Night Fever

Boromir: You want to explain the math of this to me? I mean, where’s the sense in risking the lives of the eight of us to save one guy?
Gandalf: Anyone wanna answer that?
Legolas: Hey, think about the poor b-stard’s mother.
Boromir: Hey, Leggy, I got a mother, you got a mother, the elf-lord has got a mother. I’m willing to bet that even the wizard’s got a mother. Well, maybe not the wizard, but the rest of us have got mothers.
Saving Private Ryan

Gandalf (describing Gollum): Picture a hobbit who took a nose dive from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Saving Private Ryan

Aragorn to Elrond: What I really want to do with my life what I want to do for a living is I want to be with your daughter. I’m good at it.
Say Anything

Aragorn (as Boromir dies): I’m one of you.
Boromir: You’re one of me? (confused) You’re one of me?

Aragorn: They seek him here, they seek him there, the Nazgûls seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven? Is he in hell? That damned elusive Hobbit smell.
The Scarlet Pimpernel

Saruman to the palantir of Orthanc: WHAAAASSSUUUPPP!?
Scary Movie

Frodo (walking through marshes): I see dead people.
Scary Movie

Aragorn: Shorty, if you go to class once in a while you would learn.
Pippin: I do go to class.
Aragorn: Shorty, lunch is not a class.
Pippin: It is if you got the munchies.
Scary Movie

Denethor: You want these people?
Aragorn: These people. My people. I want my people.
Denethor: Who are you? Moses?
Schindler’s List

Boromir: Oh please don’t kill me Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!

Aragorn to Frodo: I will totally protect you. Yo, I am so buff, I got you covered, girl.

Frodo: What do you got?
Sam: Dead dog.
Gollum: I didn’t do that.

Gimli: Can I make a personal observation?
Legolas: Um, anything but the thighs.
The Secret Of My Succe$s

Frodo: I just hope it’s not some priceless antique or something.
Gandalf: Forget it. Just early Sears.
The Seven Year Itch

Galadriel to Boromir: Is that the horn of Gondor in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.

Gandalf in Moria: If they come, deny everything! Just act dumb. Pippin, I’m putting you in charge of that.
Sgt. Bilko

Boromir (death scene): I acted like an .
Aragorn: Come on, Borry, you weren’t acting.
Shadow Of Doubt

Boromir on seeing Balrog: How big is your phallus, Aragorn?
Aragorn: Say what?
Boromir: How big is your ****?
Aragorn: I guess it’s shrunk to about 20 inches by now.
Shaft In Africa

Gandalf to Balrog: You’ve lost your `winging it’ privileges!
Shanghai Noon

Gandalf entering Moria: If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary. Every last mother****** in here.
The Shawshank Redemption

Frodo in Osgiliath: I’m not supposed to be here! I want to go home! I want my ma!
Faramir: Yeah, I had your momma, she wasn’t that great.
The Shawshank Redemption

Smeagol: Hereeeeee’s Gollum!
The Shining

Legolas re Arwen: I am thinking she is a virgin. Or at least she used to be.
Short Circuit

Aragorn on seeing Balrog: I don’t know about you, but I am planning to scream and run.
Short Circuit

Gandalf: Oh, you’re a *girl* Balrog!

Frodo, concerning Nazgûl: You cut me deep, you cut me deep just then.

Gandalf to Pippin in Moria: What you are doing is the opposite of help!

Elrond: Some of you are going to die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Gandalf: Wizards are like onions.
Pippin: What, ’cause they stink?
Gandalf: No…
Pippin: ‘Cause they make people cry?
Gandalf: No…!
Pippin: You mean if you leave them out they get brown and start growing little white hairs?
Gandalf: Yes… No! They have layers!

Lurtz: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
The Silence Of The Lambs

Silent Movie

Arwen: I am the Evening Star. I’m always there, but I only shine at night.

Frodo: I got things to do, kid, I’m a busy man.
Sam: I go with you.
Frodo: A grown man can’t have a little boy with him everywhere he goes.
Sam: Well, who’s a grown man?

Aragorn: I’ve liked you since the day I met you.
Arwen: You mean the day I had my hand up your pants. Men are so easy.
Aragorn: Oh yeah.
Simply Irresistible

Legolas: Gee, this wig weighs a ton! What dope’d wear a thing like this?
Singing In The Rain

Lurtz: If I were you, I’d run!
Aragorn: If you were me, you’d be good-looking.
Six-String Samauri

Theoden: Welcome to my kingdom. I will bed you all before the night is through.
Ski School

Sam to Frodo: I remember the time you ran off and tried to leave me. Need I remind you how worried I was about you?
Sleeping With The Enemy

Gimli: What is `lembas’?
Legolas: You’ll find out.
Gimli: Well, what is it?
Legolas: You’ll see!
Gimli: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I’m not gonna know what it is!
Sleepless In Seattle

Gandalf in Minis Tirith: Do you want me to say that you are really, really short for your age and they shouldn’t say anything because it would hurt your feelings.
Pippin: Yea, that’s a great idea!
Sleepless In Seattle

Gimli: I reckon, I’m gonna have to get used to lookin’ at pretty people.
Sling Blade

Galadriel re Celeborn: His battery is dead but his memory lives on.
Small Soldiers

Denethor to Faramir: There’s no way, no WAY that you came from my loins.
Smokey And The Bandit

Legolas re Aragorn: You’re looking at a legend.
Boromir: I guess a legend and an out-of-work bum look a lot a like.
Smokey And The Bandit

Gandalf: Who else is going to change the world, Frodo? Greenpeace?

Gandalf: The world isn’t run by weapons anymore, or energy, or money. It’s run by little ones and zeroes
Frodo: I guess I’d rather be a little one than a zero.

Galadriel: Mirror, mirror in my hand who’s the fairest elf in the land?
Mirror: Well that depends is it Morning or Evening?
Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs

Aragorn: You don’t understand, Arwen! Aaah… I’m a human!
Arwen: Well, nobody’s perfect.
Some Like It Hot

Gimli entering Lothlorien: To catch a dwarf they’ve got to get up very early in the morning.
Pippin: What time?
Gimli: Oh about half past–`What time.’ Hmph!
Sons Of The Desert

Pippin: Frodo, what happened to your finger?
Frodo: It got caught!
Pippin: Caught in what?
Frodo: Gollum’s teeth.
The Sound Of Music

Aragorn: Oh my God. They killed Gandalf. The bastards.
South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut

Frodo climbing Mt. Doom: This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your **** in my mouth and took a picture.
South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut

Gimli to Aragorn: Soon the elves’ll be breeding us like cattle! You’ve got to warn everyone and tell them! Lembas is made of dwarfs! You’ve got to tell them! Lembas is dwarfs!
Soylent Green

Sam in Mordor: Water… water…
Frodo: Room service… room service…

Frodo looking in Galadriel’s mirror: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?

Boromir: There will come a time, boy, when you’ll wish you never met me.
Frodo: Mister, I’m already there.

Gandalf whispering to Company at mountain: Saruman can see you….that’s how he knows what we’re doing….

Sam: I’m such a yokel. There. I said it.

Frodo at Grey Havens: Who’s ready to party on the big boat besides me?
Speed 2: Cruise Control

Sam in Mordor: I’ll swear, I’m never leaving the house again.
Speed 2: Cruise Control

Legolas to Gimli: Relationships based on extreme circumstances never work out.
Speed 2: Cruise Control

Gandalf re balrog: Is there heat coming off this thing or is it just happy to see me?

Aragorn: It just so happens I come from a very long line of married people.

Elrond: Men… Can’t live with ’em, can’t shoot ’em.
St. Elmo’s Fire

Frodo at the Crack Of Doom: You know Gollum, there is the brink of insanity and then there is the abyss, which obviously you have fallen into.
St. Elmo’s Fire

Frodo: To boldy go where no hobbit has gone before.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Boromir (dying) to Aragorn re Lurtz: It’s life, Captain, but not life as we know it.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Boromir (about to die): You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours.
Star Trek: The Wrath Of Khan

Aragorn eulogy to Boromir: Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most…human.
Star Trek: The Wrath Of Khan

Aragorn, after Frodo’s wounding at Weathertop : Damn it, Sam! I’m a ranger not a miracle worker!
Star Trek: The Wrath Of Khan

Theoden at Helm’s Deep: Our shields are lowering!
Star Trek: The Wrath Of Khan

Arwen: Aragorn’s never what I expect, sir.
Elrond: What surprises you, Arwen?
Arwen: He’s so human.
Elrond: Nobody’s perfect.
Star Trek: The Wrath Of Khan

Boromir: You really have gone where no man’s gone before. Can’t you tell me what it felt like?
Aragorn: My sex life is none of your concern.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Galadriel: Do you guys like lembas?
Legolas: Yes.
Gimli: No.
Legolas: Yes.
Gimli: No.
Legolas: I love lembas, (looks at Gimli) and so do you.
Gimli: Yes.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Gandalf: It is in men that we must place our trust.
Elrond: If I were human I believe my response would be `go to hell.’ …If I were human.
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

Aragorn: I take it the odds are against us and the situation is grim.
Boromir: You could say that.
Aragorn: Sounds like fun!
Star Trek: Generations

Arwen: I’m endeavoring to become more human.
Elrond: Human!
Star Trek: First Contact

Elrond to the newly-formed Fellowship: Make it so!
Star Trek First Contact

Witch King: Use the Ring, Frodo.
Star Wars

Aragorn to Frodo: Aren’t you a little short for a ringbearer?
Star Wars

Theoden to Gandalf: Fast? You’ve never heard of Shadowfax? This is the horse that made the Kessel run in less than 3 par-secs. She’s fast enough for you old man.
Star Wars

Balrog: Your powers are weak, old man.
Gandalf: You can’t win. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
Star Wars

Gandalf: These aren’t the hobbits you’re looking for.
Cave Troll: These aren’t the hobbits we’re looking for.
Gandalf They don’t have the Ring.
Cave Troll: They don’t have the Ring.
Gandalf: Move along.
Cave Troll: Move along.
Star Wars

Gandalf: Moria. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
Star Wars

Gandalf The White to Saruman: When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.
Star Wars

Frodo: Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder!
Boromir: Who’s scruffy-looking?
Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back

Pippin to Beregond: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not.
Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back

Arwen: I’m looking for someone.
Aragorn: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm?
Arwen: Right…
Aragorn: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm.
Arwen: I don’t think so. I’m looking for a great warrior.
Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back

Saruman to orcs: There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the halflings. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. No disintegrations.
Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back

Legolas to Aragorn: When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not. Hmm?
Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi

Aragorn during final battle to Eomer: Don’t worry, my friend’s in there. (looks past the Black Gates) He’ll have that shield down in time. …Or this’ll be the shortest offensive of all time.
Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi

Frodo after Cirith Ungol: Together again.
Sam: Wouldn’t miss it.
Frodo: How we doin’?
Sam: Same as always.
Frodo: That bad, huh?
Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi

Eowyn: You’re a Gondorian king, aren’t you?
Aragorn: What makes you think that?
Eowyn: I saw your sword. Only Gondorian kings carry that kind of weapon.
Aragorn: Perhaps I killed a Gondorian king and took it from him.
Eowyn: I don’t think so. No one can kill a Gondorian king.
Aragorn: I wish that were so.
Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

Boromir at Council: I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee!
Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

Balrog to Gandalf: Your Istari mind tricks won’t work on me, boy
Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

Shelob: I can’t stand a naked light bulb.
A Streetcar Named Desire

Frodo to Sam in Bag End: You can’t go. All the plants are gonna die!

Legolas: Oh Mr. Jackson, I’m ready for my close-up now.
Sunset Boulevard

Legolas to anyone: Doesn’t it give you a… shudder… of electricity through you to be in the same room with me?

Aragorn re Pippin: It’s amazing that brain can generate enough power to keep those legs moving.

Eowyn to Aragorn: How would you like to have a sexual experience so intense it could conceivably change your political views?
The Sure Thing

Gimli to Galadriel: You know, I’ve never met anyone like you before. Usually when I meet someone new I feel awkward and shy. But with you it’s different. I can talk to you. You know what I’m thinking without my having to explain to you in fancy terms. We speak each other’s unspoken language… fluently. I love you.
The Sure Thing

Treebeard to Merry: The world is full of nice ordinary little people who live in nice ordinary little houses in the ground. Didn’t you ever dream of a house in the trees?
Swiss Family Robinson

Gimli: It was the best of mines, it was the worst of mines.
A Tale Of Two Cities

Boromir: I’m the brother you never had. I would do anything for you, Aragorn.
The Talented Mr. Ripley

Merry on seeing Witch King: God take my testicles and fry them up with bacon!
The Tall Guy

Gimli to Legolas: Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry **** continues just shoot me now please.
Tank Girl

Sam: I’ll need a good rope, a hunting knife, and a soft piece of leather.
Tarzan And The Valley Of Gold

Frodo to Eye: You lookin’ at me? You lookin’ at me? You lookin’ at me? Then who the hell else are you lookin’ at? You lookin’ at me? Well I’m the only one here. Who do you think you’re lookin’ at? Oh yeah? Huh? Ok.
Taxi Driver

Aragorn: Lead the way, toots.
Arwen: ‘Toots’?
Aragorn: Babe? Sweetcakes? Ah, Princess? You wanna throw me a clue here?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Saruman to orcs: There is a new enemy. Freaks of nature who interfere with our business. Find them. Together we will punish these… creatures. These…halflings!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Merry at Entmoot: I guess they’re not lumberjacks!
Pippin: No joke! The only thing safe in the forest would be the trees!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Gollum: Well, I was trained to swallow all sorts of things.
Frodo: Careful, I might just have to marry you.
Gollum: Wouldn’t Sam kill me if…never mind.
Terminal Velocity

Aragorn to Frodo: Listen and understand: Those Nazgûl are out there. They can’t be bargained with, they can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity or remorse or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.
The Terminator

Gandalf re Gollum: You still don’t get it, do you? He’ll find him. That’s what he does. That’s all he does! You can’t stop him!
The Terminator

Gimli: Gandalf gave me a picture of you once. I didn’t know why at the time. It was very old, torn, faded. You were young like you are now. You seemed just a little sad. I used to always wonder what you were thinking at that moment. I memorised every line, every curve. I came across Dimril Dale for you Galadriel, I love you, I always have.
The Terminator

Arwen (after Aragorn wields Anduril and smiles): It’s definitely you.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Legolas (entering Lothlorien): No, no, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk. You don’t say affirmative, or some sh-t like that. You say `illoona’. And if someone comes on to you with an attitude you say `mat velka’. And if you want to shine them on it’s `Namarie, lapse’.
Gimli: Namarie, lapse
Legolas: Yeah! Or `ulundo’. And if someone gets upset you say, `ringa senda’! Or you can do combinations.
Gimli: Ringa senda, ulundo.
Legolas: Great! See, you’re getting it!
Gimli: Illoona.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day (Elven translator used. Apologies for grammatical errors)

Legolas (exiting Moria): Why do you cry?
Aragorn: You mean people?
Legolas: Yes.
Aragorn: I dont’ know. We just cry. You know, when it hurts.
Legolas: Pain causes it?
Aragorn: No, it’s when there’s nothing wrong with you, but you cry anyway. You get it?
Legolas: No.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Aragorn at Helm’s Deep: We’ve got company!
Theoden: Orcs?
Legolas: How many?
Aragorn: Uh, all of them, I think.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Frodo: You’re not here to kill me I figured out that for myself. So what’s the deal?
Strider: My mission is to protect you.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Strider: Come with me if you want to live!
Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Gandalf to Theoden: Say… That’s a nice horse…
Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Legolas: I’m so upset, I’d cry, but my tear ducts haven’t worked since my last eye job.
That Darn Cat

Sauron: You guys look great in black, have I told you that?
That Thing You Do!

Frodo: OK, then listen, let’s not get caught.
Sam: What’re you talking about?
Frodo: Let’s keep going.
Sam: What do you mean?
Frodo: Go.
Sam: You sure?
Frodo: Yeah, yeah. Let’s.
Thelma And Louise

Boromir at the Council of Elrond: I am here to chew bubblegum and to kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum.
They Live

Merry upon seeing Arwen: Who is she?
Aragorn: She’s a 10, Meriadoc. She’s a world unto herself. She can’t nurse worth ****, but I keep her on, because even though I can’t feel it, I know I get erections in her presence.
Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead

Sauron: What day did the Lord create hobbits, and couldn’t he have rested on that day too?
This Is Spinal Tap

Sam to Rosie: Do you want to dance? Or do you want to *DANCE*?
The Thomas Crown Affair

Aragorn on Pippin’s cooking skills: How can something so small make so much of something so disgusting?
Three Men And A Baby

Arwen: What’s this? A ranger caught off his guard?
Aragorn: Lady’s dagger, isn’t it?
Arwen: Oh, do you know a lot about daggers?
Aragorn: No, but I know a little bit about women.

Celeborn on hearing about Gandalf: Dead? No excuse for laying off work.
Time Bandits

Gandalf: And how long have you been a thief?
Bilbo: Three foot six.
Gandalf: Three foot six? Well, that… that… that… that… is a long time, isn’t it? Jolly good!
Time Bandits

Elrond re Aragorn: Men cannot be fixed, and especially him.
Tin Cup

Aragorn: I happen to be humanity’s last great hope.
Elrond: I weep for the species.
Titan A.E.

Frodo: Just out of curiosity: do we have a plan B?
Titan A.E.

Aragorn: I’m the king of the world!

Boromir: You know how to use a horn, don’t you, Merry? You just put your lips together and blow.
To Have And Have Not

Shelob: I got more legs than a bucket of chicken.
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

Eomer: With all due respect, Eowyn, I don’t think you have the balls for this.
Eowyn: Perhaps. The advantage is I don’t have to think with them all the time.
Tomorrow Never Dies

Witch King: Requesting permission for flyby.
Sauron: That’s a negative ghostrider, the pattern is full.
Top Gun

Gandalf on Shadowfax: I feel the need…
Gandalf and Pippin together: …the need for speed!
Top Gun

Legolas: Too close for arrows, I’m switching to knives.
Top Gun

Sam leaving the Shire: And I’ll miss you most of all scarecrow!
Top Secret (and The Wizard Of Oz)

Orc National Anthem: Hail, hail Mordor / Land of heat and hate / Land where you’ll regret / If you try to escape / No matter if you tunnel under or take a running jump at the wall / Forget it, the guards will kill you, if the electrified fence doesn’t first.
Top Secret

Arwen: Aragorn, wait! I wanted to explain…
Aragorn: You don’t have to explain anything. You think I’m the first mortal to fall in love with his surrogate father’s Elvish daughter, whom he can never marry unless he restores his father’s kingship, which can only happen after the destruction of the Ring embodying all Evil is destroyed right under the nose of the Dark Lord, by the shortest, weakest, and most pathetically cute member of the group?
Arwen: I know… it all sounds like some bad movie.
Top Secret

Gandalf (kicks Frodo in the face): That’s for making me come to Moria. (kicks his groin.) You know how much I hate this ******* mine?
Total Recall

Gandalf, falling into the chasm: Get your ass to Mordor!
Total Recall

Frodo just after ring destroyed: I just had a terrible thought: what if this is a dream?
Sam: Well then kiss me quick before you wake up.
Total Recall

Sauron to Saruman: You know,I’ve got the greatest job in the world. As long as I’m able to get the Ring, I can do whatever I want. I only worry that someday, if the men and elves win, it all might end. And you’re ******* making it happen!!
-Total Recall

Boromir on seeing Balrog: Is it bad?
Gandalf: It’s a fire. All fires are bad.
The Towering Inferno

Balrog: I can fly!
Gandalf: That wasn’t flying, that was falling with style!
Toy Story

Gandalf in Moria: You call this roughing it?
Frodo: One bathroom for nine people? Yes.
Troop Beverley Hills

Frodo to Sauron: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.
True Grit

Legolas re Arwen: Do you think she’s still a virgin?
Boromir: Dont be ridiculous, she’s only…what is she now?
Legolas: She’s two thousand seven hundred and seventy-seven years old.
Boromir: She’s two thousand seven hundred and seventy-seven years old!
Legolas: Yeah, and her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.
True Lies

Gollum: Don’t give me the finger!
True Romance

Gandalf to Aragorn: We can love our hobbits, we just can’t *LOVE* our hobbits.
The Truth About Cats And Dogs

Merry after ring destroyed: How’d it go?
Frodo (looking at Sam): He snored, but we stood it.
Merry: How’d you do it?
Frodo: He slept on my face so I couldn’t hear him.
The Truth About Cats And Dogs

Elrond: Wiping out the human race? That’s a great idea. That’s great. But more of a long-term thing. I mean, first we have to focus on more immediate goals.
Twelve Monkeys

Frodo: They call me Mr. Frodo

Denethor: So, what are you, like some special forces guy?
Pippin: Nah, I’m just a cook.
Denethor: A cook?
Pippin: Just a lowly, lowly cook.
Denethor: Oh my God, we’re gonna die.
Under Seige

Frodo exiting Moria: We still have a week together.
Aragorn: I guess that means I won’t get to see you go through puberty.
Under Seige

Elrond: Why do you want to be a member of the Fellowship?
Pippin: To protect the…ring and the…p…
Elrond: I’m not looking for the textbook answer. Why do you want to join the Fellowship?
Pippin: The Fellowship?
Elrond: Yeah, why do you want to join the Fellowship?
Pippin: Because…I…
Elrond: Yeah?
Pippin: …think I could help.
Elrond: You think you could help.
Pippin: …with the Fellowship.
Elrond: Thank you very much. (turns to Gimli) Why do you want to be a member of the Fellowship?
Gimli: To protect the ring and the citizenry of the state of…
Elrond: Oh, don’t give me any of that ********! Gimli…Son of Gloin. That’s your name. What’s your *real* name?
Gimli: That is my real name.
Elrond: Nah! Before you changed it.
Gimli: We never give out our real names.
Elrond: Ah! I knew it! (to Frodo) That’s all we need is one thievin’ dwarf on the team!
Gimli: What’s that you said?
Elrond: I said, that you’re a lyin’ member of a no good race.
(They tussle. Gimli pushes an axe against Elrond’s neck.)
Gimli: Much better than you, you stinkin’ elvish sh-tbag.
Elrond (to Frodo): Oh, I like ‘im.
Frodo (out of breath): Yeah, I like him too.
The Untouchables

Boromir at Council: You wanna get Sauron? Here’s how you get him. He pulls a knife, you pull a sword. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Gondor way. And that’s how you get Sauron!
The Untouchables

Aragorn re Witch King: I’m telling you this guy is protected from up on high by the Prince of Darkness.
The Usual Suspects

Arwen to Aragorn: I can put you in Queens.
The Usual Suspects

Gandalf: The greatest trick Sauron ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
The Usual Suspects

Frodo to Boromir: One hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest?
Vertical Limit

Gandalf to Aragorn re Elrond: Don’t mind him. He’s Elvish-Human. Some days he’s Human. Can be quite pleasant. Today he’s obviously Elvish.
Vertical Limit

Gollum at Mount Doom: Give me your hand. Give me your hand.

Aragorn: I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle.
Arwen: Yes, I love an early morning ride.
A View To A Kill

Steve Tyler (phone rings): That’ll be my little girl wanting a tattoo.

Aragorn at Helm’s Deep: Where’s the rest of ’em?
Haldir: What `rest of ’em?’ This is it!
Aragorn: Hey, there only seems to be 300 here!
Haldir: Everything else is stuck on the 5 and the 10.

Boromir to Lurtz: Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me! I haven’t had a woman yet!

Arwen: And don’t take it personally, Aragorn, but I bought you some expensive, fruity soaps. Take them home, try them out.
Waking Ned

Gollum: Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms.
Wall Street

Aragorn to Pippin: Lunch is for wimps.
Wall Street

Frodo at Mount Doom: Hobbit looks in the abyss, there’s nothing staring back at him. At that moment, hobbit finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss.
Wall Street

Elrond: If they’re mortal, they have mortal weaknesses. They’ll be stopped, somehow.
The War Of The Worlds

Sam: I can’t swim.
Frodo: You can’t swim?
Sam: No, I can’t, OK, Wonder Woman? I can’t swim.
Frodo: Well, what kind of an asshole grows up in Hobbiton and doesn’t even know how to swim?
Sam: I never got around to it, okay? I always thought there was gonna be plenty of time!
Frodo: Sorry.
Sam: I wish I didn’t know about any of this. I wish I was like everybody else in the world, and tomorrow it would just be over. There wouldn’t be any time to be sorry about anything. Oh, Jesus! I really wanted to learn how to swim. I swear to God I did.

Denethor: Goddammit, I’d piss on a spark plug if I thought it’d do any good!

Snaga re Frodo: He does fit the profile perfectly. He’s intelligent, but an under-achiever; alienated from his parents; has few friends. Classic case for recruitment by the elves.

Boromir to Merry and Pippin: Don’t just stand there, kill something!

Pippinarty on, Merry
Merry: Party on Pippin
Wayne’s World

Sauron: It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine!
Wayne’s World

Frodo: You were at the Last Alliance?
Bilbo: Excellent! What was it like?
Elrond: It rained all morning, and then it cleared up in the afternoon. And that’s it, I almost remembered something else, but it’s gone.
Wayne’s World 2

Gandalf re discovering the ring’s history: Once again, things that should have been brought to my attention… YESTERDAY!
The Wedding Singer

Frodo: Well, you’re a half hour late.
Gandalf: Only half hour? I’m usually forty-five minutes late. I’m early today.
Weekend At Bernie’s

Aragorn to Boromir re hobbits: If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. Mmm, it’s a mindscrambler. Hurts so good.
Weird Science

Faramir to Frodo: You two donkey-***** couldn’t get laid in a morgue.
Weird Science

Gandalf The White: I’m still here, I STILL EXIST!
What Dreams May Come

Boromir to Aragorn: : You’re marrying a woman you’ve never had sex with? Are you insane? Didn’t you see The Crying Game? You think she’s got the goods under her skirt, you lift it up, it’s Oscar Meyer time.
What Planet Are You From?

Celeborn: What’s the


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Found in Home 5 News 5 Other News 5 Movie Quotes That, Thank God, They Didn’t Use – All 800 – Part 2

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