Lord of the Rings spoof

by Dec 23, 2003Other News

The fuzzy logic of it puzzled Katie. Here I am, sitting in Bagg-End, having tea with Frodo and, amazingly enough I’m hobbit-sized too.
“…is that so? What happened next?” Frodo asked.
Apparently, we were in the middle of a conversation of which I knew nothing about.
“Ummm…” I stumbled around for something to say.
Luckily, Sam came charging in that second.
“Sam! Is something wrong?” Frodo asked.
Judging by Sam’s petrified look, something was wrong.
“Yes, wait a second, who are you?” inquired Sam, sticking a stubby finger in my direction.
“Sam, may I introduce you to Katie from America. She’s just been telling me about it.”
Wow, I thought, not only is Frodo cute, he’s polite too!!
“Nice to meet you, Miss, but we must leave at once! There’s word of strange folk about.” said Sam, who looked like he expected an orc to pop up anywhere.
Frodo looked stunned.
“O…OK, I’ll go get my gear, wait, what about Katie?”
“Oooo, can I come with you? I’ve heard it’s a great adventure!”
“Alright, but how do you know about it if we haven’t even started it yet?” asked Frodo cautiously.
“Umm, never mind.”
That was close. I better be more careful.
So how did I get here? I wondered. I did the dishes, then went up to my room. The last thing I remember, is reading that book. That’s it! It was a first edition Lord of the Rings book that I had bought from that antique store! But how did it transfer me here? Something’s wrong. Something’s different.
“So where are we going?” I asked, trying to convince them I was harmless again.
“Mordor,” Frodo explained, “See, I have this nose-ring that was Sauron’s evil ring of power. He used it to control all other nose-rings, of which he passed out to dwarves, men and elves alike at New Years about 3,ooo years ago. Now, times passing has brought this powerful nose-ring to me, and I, Frodo Baggins, must destroy it in Mount Boom. And if I put the nose-ring on, I can disappear!” said Frodo, looking at me with an evil grin on.
“Are you sure you got that right? That’s not what I remem… I mean, uhh, that sounds dangerous.” I said, quickly covering up my outburst.
“Yes it is! That is why we must leave at once! Quickly, pack Katie some gear and lets go!” Sam insisted before Frodo could speak.
“Right, lets head out” Frodo said, tossing me my pack.
I grabbed a walking stick that was the perfect size, and followed Frodo and Sam out the door.


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