Haldir’s Diary – – chapter 8: read the others or you may not understand.

by Nov 24, 2003Other News

Haldir’s Diary: part 8

The House of Healing

I lay there stunned, awed and amazed at all that had happened. For a moment I pondered if being alive was such a good thing after all.

Some elves came back with a makeshift stretcher, made out of a section of broken ladder with a few thick cloaks on top. Carefully they picked me up, one took me by the head, the other by the feet, and lowered me onto it.

I found that though I couldn’t talk, I could still yell. And that’s what I did. Damn it hurt. They had to put me on the stretcher upside-down so as to not injure my wounds any further. A good move, but now I looked really dumb.

Then the two elves carried me up the rubble to the keep, where the houses of healing were. I didn’t particularly look forward to meeting Aragorn and Legolas again. I didn’t really care about the stupid dwarf.

When I finally reached the healing room, I was shocked. There was a hall full of people in agony, wailing and weeping for their harms.

I was propped up on a ‘bed’, still faced down, to await the physician. I gagged when I saw who it was, and my wound bled afresh:

Aragorn was pacing up and down the halls, inspecting the beds. He stopped at each one and surveyed the injured.

“Matron” he called, his finger resting on his chin, and a blonde woman came up beside him. Her eyes were starry, and I could see that she harboured something for the ‘doctor’.

“Yes, my lord?”

“Give this man some Athelas.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Then he walked onto the next bed, the bed next to mine. Lying there was a young boy who had lost his arm. He was unconscious and his shoulder was bleeding badly.


“Yes, my lord?”

“Get this man some Athelas.”

“Are you sure, my lord? He looks quite hurt.”

“Er…then give him double the amount of athelas.”

Then Legolas burst into the room, Gimli at his heels:

“Aragorn,” he said, “we’ve just run out of Athelas.”

“Oh crap.” said the to-be king.

“Do you not know any other methods of healing APART from using kingsfoil?” said the woman calmly.

Aragorn put his hand on his forehead, “it’s the only thing I remember from Elrond’s medical lessons. I didn’t pay attention to anything else”

Legolas said something quietly that sounded very rude.

“Well you try listening to the lord of Imladris talking about the Elven menstrual cycle for three and a half hours!!!” he cried at him.

He moved onto my bed.

“Matron, get this man some-“

Then he saw it was me; Haldir, general of Elven army, I mean, hello?!

“Matron! Athelas! Immediately! This is my good friend Haldir!”

I tried not to vomit onto my stretcher. Since when were Aragorn and I ‘friends’? I think he took it too far with the hug he gave me at Helm’s Deep.

Legolas, who seemed to acquire some sense during his travels, was massaging his temples.

“Aragorn. I don’t think Athelas will work.”

“It has worked for me before.”

“This man has 3 broken ribs, a dislocated arm, a smashed shoulder and major blood loss. I don’t think Athelas works on injuries of that sort. Besides, did you not hear me before? WE HAVE RUN OUT”

(Since when did Legolas have x-ray vision???)

Aragorn shrugged.

“‘Snot my fault.”

Then the dwarf said: “I think this here Elf will be just fine. He needs plenty of rest, that’s all.”

Then Legolas said: “what he needs are the healing hands of Elrond of Rivendell”

(I don’t like the way he said ‘healing hands’. I think Elrohir had a point when he spread that rumour.)


So it was decided.

I would be carried back north, all the way to Rivendell to be cured by Elrond. And when I get better, I could get back to Lorien.



But then when the parade had gone, Legolas came up and put his hand on my shoulder (the uninjured one). I tried to jerk away, but resistance was, as always, futile.

“Haldir, this morning, before you were carried up here, I caught a messenger running frantically around delivering errands. On closer inspection, I found, in his hands, your rather adorable will…”

He must have sensed my astonishment because I gasped, and something clicked in my back. Suddenly I found my voice box functional again.

I celebrated by yelling: “YOU FOUND WHAAAAAT?!?!?!” loudly that everyone stared.

“I found your rather amusing will,” he continued, “I couldn’t help but laugh at it. Ahh, you were always ambitious, even when we were young….”

I wish I had control of my muscles as well as my voice because then I could pulverise him.

“Of course, I have intercepted your last wishes..”

I sighed a breath of relief, which was hard because I was faced down. At least he did SOME good.

“But I had to leave in the one about Aragorn. Let it take its course. That was TOO irresistible…”

I had another panic attack. I tried to speak, but I was shivering in fright.

“And you’re sending me…to Rivendell, home of Elrond….and Arwen Undomiel…”

He stared at me for a moment. Then he said:

“Yeah. That’s about right.”

And walked off.

I am so dead.

This cannot be HAPPENING!!!


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