Frodo Had Troubles – Seuss meets Tolkien Again and Again

by Oct 17, 2001Other News

Frodo Had Troubles

Frodo was a real happy Hobbit, and never dire
He lived in a place called Bag End in the Shire.
Where nothing ever went on, nothing ever went wrong.
Until, one day Frodo was singing Bilbo’s Birthday Song.
And they say he got careless, that he had no fear.
That is until Gandalf put The Ring in the fire and all was made clear.
The story of the Dark One would be told, and Sam perked his ear.

And that’s how it started, the Tale of the Ring
Then the Great Grey Pilgrim put an end to the clipping.
Sam was grabbed quick, no “very fast” from the window.
There stood Gandalf ready to lay Sam low
But young Gamgee kneeled and spouted a prayer
and Gandalf said “it’s okay you were there”.
“You’ll help Frodo still stunned by the task ahead
With Sam red faced and embarrassed his feet felt like lead.

In his life Frodo never had troubles like this
This new venture was never mentioned by Gandalf before.
So the frazzled Hobbit stood and said to himself
Because Gandalf wouldn’t hear, ” take this ring I want it no more”.
Well, if I watch out for orcs
and I walk to Rivendell straight ahead
” I’ll have no more troubles”
“Forever” Frodo said

Yet even though Frodo and Sam kept to the Road
With all that “sniffling”, it did’nt work out
” We need a plan, we gotta have some clout”
Two Hobbits looking now for Dark riders, then there were four
With young Merry and Pippin now faithfully trailing along.
Then trouble with an Old Willow until Tom Bombadil’s song

Now they learned, ” oh there’s all kinds of troubles
Those Black Riders, Barrow Wights and Maggot’s dogs
Some were ahead, “yeah but some are behind”
They scurried off that road, let’s head for those logs
So Frodo said to his friends ,is that elves that I see.
Calm down Sam Gamgee or the noise will make them flee
Stop yelling ” Love Them Elves”, it’s a Dark Rider that I see
Keep down that racket, they give me the creeps can’t you tell.

Sam found this quite a difficult task
They had already met elves and Sam in awe
Had nothing to ask.

Then can you believe it, new problems came
First being chased over the ferry in haste
Now entering Bree, at the Inn Prancing Pony Frodo danced, what a waste.
Then swarthy Strider and Sam said get a look at that pest.
But Frodo held back, he sat, lit a pipe and wiggled his toe.
Whispering, “This Ranger could get us out of trouble you know”.
The threat of orcs, wolves and that persistent sniffing Rider.
Wish we had more than one of those rangers like Strider.
Frodo just listened to Aragorn say we can’t stop
We gotta get to this now forsaken place Weathertop

There we’ll be fine, just you see
But then came the Riders, and they were in trouble
“That’s not new” said Frodo, Strider yelled quick on the double.
Young Frodo , we must get to the top of Amon Sul
and “KEEP THAT RING OFF” or the Dark Lord will rule.
“Forget that Ranger man I’m scared, I’m putting it on”
Then the mountain, the Hobbits and Strider were gone.
He then saw those white silver haired creepy ghouls.
Hey Khamul you stabbed me, you Dark lame-brained fool.

Strider said now he’s hurt we have to run to Rivendell
To the banks of the Loudwater or Bruinen we must go
Hey not so fast, my arm hurts let’s try to go slow
But the poison had his mind , his speech made no sense.
Its not very far little hafling, Frodo replied “so you say”
Yo Glorfindel put Frodo on your white steed it’s strong.
He’s so out of his head he’ll believe nothing can go wrong
On to Bruinens Ford, Frodo did fly
But Lord of the Nine spoke, ” stop him let’s try”

They jumped up behind him, it was the end of the day
But Frodo rode on yelling, get outta my way
The road got more bumpy , rocky , then wet
And soon Frodo’s back was hunched over on Asfolath
The Dark Rider’s Lord said ” I’ll get him back you wanna bet”.
But the River rose high and the Nine washed away
Gandalf yelled “look at those white horses, I did my way”.

So rest up in Rivendell, Frodo my brave lad
You’ll get to meet Bilbo, that’ll make you glad
Then new trouble, welcome to the Council of Elrond they say
Hey the Ring is your’s Frodo, “Hey I don’t know the way”
They tell him the Fellowship will set out in a day
On what mission ” shhh Sauron may hear” we can’t say.
Frodo justs sits, maybe Nine walkers will make trouble go away.

The End…….Don’t look lower


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