Another Result of Boredom: but with plot and no meaning:
Disclaimer: I wish I do own LOTR! I’d be rich and not here talking to you guys. No money has been made from it and it has NOT been beta’d. Read Appendix A in the back of ROTK: here follows the tale of Aragorn and Arwen. Also reading the Hobbit helps to understand where I get stuff from. Also aragorn-legolas.5u.com has become what I base my stories on now. (Gonna have to go back and edit to make previous stories fit, oh well).
A/N: “A Result of Boredom: has no plot or meaning whatsoever” is the first of this series. This is the sequel, “Another Result of Boredom but with plot and No Meaning.” If you are woried about missing something, do not worry, the two have nothing in common with each other except in being wrote of boredom and LOTR.
Welcome back weary travelers! I hope you have rested well since your last journey. Today, our journey starts in the small town of Sneedville, Tennessee. Chris Campbell and Cody Dodson are good friends. Last night, they were having a sort of “boy’s night” thing. They had recorded the super bowl and stayed up all night watching it and playing videogames. When morning came, Cody could not find his football videogame.
“Chris have you seen my game?” asked Cody while frantically digging through the pile of junk that lie in front of the television set.
“No, I haven’t! I last saw it when we played it last.” Chris emerged from the kitchen eating a peanut butter sandwich.
“When was that?”
“How should I know? It’s your game.”
“Well, why don’t you smell my finger?” Cody tried to put his index finger underneath Cody’s nose but Chris just batted it away.
“Quit, Cody. I’m gonna go get a gllol of milk.” Chris went back into the kitchen. When he opened the refrigerator door, he was met by a blinding white light. Meanwhile, in the living room….
“Ahhhh, there you are!” Cody said as he picked up his football game, “Chris, make me a bologna sandwich while you’re in there.” Chris did not respond, but Cody did not care. He put his game into the console and started playing. After a few hours Cody started to sense something wrong, “Chris?……….Chris?” he questioned as he made his way into the empty kitchen. ‘He must have went outside,’ thought Cody. He decided to get a coke while he was there.
“WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” SMACK! The fellowship looked up from their dinner. What they saw caused them to jump to their feet. A figure came crashing and screaming right in the midst of them. The figure slowly started to rise and everyone drew their weapons.
“At least it’s human,” stated Pippin, “I think.” The human had dark brown, curly hair, which was cut short and blue eyes. A small moan escaped his lips.
“Might we have the pleasure of your name dear sir?” asked Pippin.
“Where am I?”
“Three weeks from Rivendell,” replied Gandalf.
“Rivendell is not a real place, I hate to break it to you,” the stranger replied.
“I do believe he hit the ground a little too hard,” Legolas whispered to Aragorn.
“Yeah, on his head,” Aragorn whispered back. The two started giggling.
“WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” SLAM! Another human fell from the sky and landed on the first human.
“Get off me, Cody!” shouted the first.
“Is he a friend of yours?” asked Gandalf.
“Uhhhh, Chris, where are we?” asked Cody.
“According to these nine travel- I suppose that ya’ll are supposed to be the fellowship?” replied Chris. Legolas drew his bow and pointed it at the two.
“Depends on whose side you are on. Light or dark?!”
“What is going on, Chris?” asked Cody.
“Don’t ask me, ask them?” Chris gestured to the group of people surrounding them. Chris and Cody, for the first time, took in their “captors”.
One was an old man with a long grey beard, wearing strange grey clothes, and carried a gnarled wooden staff and a long sword. There were four short people (ranging from about 3’6″ to 4″ with no shoes and hairy toes, each armed with short swords. a dwarf with red hair and axes, he was about 4’5″.
One of the “normal” looking people carried a shield, a broad sword, and a horn. He was about 5’8″ with long dark-brown hair down to his shoulders. Another one of the “normal” looking people had a long sword, long black hair down to his shoulders, and was about 6’8″. He was wearing colors of greens and browns. The last person was a golden-braided haired person (down to his shoulders) and…..pointed ears? He was very slim and carried a longbow, a quiver of arrows, and two knives. He was about 6’5″.
“Oh, great, it’s the Lord of the Rings convention,” muttered Cody.
“Definitely, hit his head too hard also,” Legolas whispered to Aragorn as he lowered his bow.
“What did he say?” he whispered back.
“‘oh, great, it’s the Lord of the Rings convention.'”
“What does he mean by that?”
“I haven’t the faintest idea, Aragorn.”
“Would you to be so kind as to include us in your delightful conversation?” interrupted Gandalf.
“Sorry about that, Gandalf,” replied the ranger, “So, what are your names?”
“I’m Chris Campbell and this is Cody Dodson,” replied Chris.
“Those are strange names,” answered Merry.
“Very strange names, no offense,” echoed Pippin, “Where are you from?”
“Sneedville, Tennessee,” stated Cody.
“I have never heard of that place. I do not believe that it is in Middle-earth,” Responded Aragorn.
“Of course it isn’t, you ding-bat!” exclaimed Cody,” it’s in the U.S. of A.”
“Gandalf, these men are mad, we best leave them be,” said Boromir.
“We are not mad, just a little scared,” answered Chris.
“Scared of what?” asked Frodo.
“You, who else?” came Cody’s sarcastic reply.
“You are…(laugh).. scared of (chuckle). Frodo?” in a few seconds Pippin was bursting with laughter. Then Merry and Sam joined him. Gandalf even chuckled a little.
“I don’t see what’s so funny,” Boromir looked over at Gimli.
“They have me confused as well,” said Gimli, “and (chuckle), its Aragorn and Legolas’ faces that have me going now.” Boromir looked over at Legolas and Aragorn and burst into laughter. .
“Personally, I do not see what’s so funny,” Aragorn said to Legolas.
“Neither do I,” came the reply and not from Legolas, but from Chris, “Cody? Do you have any idea?”
“I do not sense any danger in these two,” stated Gandalf when the laughter finally quieted down, “Release them. Go back to where you come from.”
“As soon as you give us another refrigerator,” Cody whispered to Chris.
“What’s that?” asked Legolas.
“Oh, brother,” muttered Cody as he rolled his eyes, “they have really lost it. I’d say that they are as bad as Jennifer*.”
“Definitely.” responded Chris, who was the only one who heard him.
“You two are welcome to travel with us if you wish,” offered Gandalf.
“Gandalf, may I see you for a moment please?” Aragorn and Gandalf moved off to the side of the camp and conversed quietly in Sindarin.
“It took some convincing,” reported Gandalf when they returned, “and now if nobody else has any objections, we shall continue our journey as soon as it is nightfall.”
“We must be getting back home. We have school in the morning, so, if you would be so kind as to direct us to the nearest gas station…” inquired Chris.
“What’s a gas station?” asked Pippin.
“You have GOT to be kidding me! You don’t know what a gas station is?”
“Come on, Chris, let’s get out of here,” said Cody.
“but we have no idea where we are, besides they look convincing enough-“
“Chris, be reasonable. You are trying to say that we are actually in Middle-Ear-“
“Yes, I am. I mean it IS possible.”
“Oh, sure” Cody rolled his eyes,” and this is supposed to be the fellowship of the Ring?”
“Yes, and I think we should go with them.
“Even if they are the fellowship, and we go with them, we are not armed. All we have are ink-pens in our-” Cody reached for his ink-pen but instead his hand landed on a long sword by his side, “now how did this get here?” Chris looked down at his own side and found one too.
“Okay, this is freaky,” stated Chris.
*~*~* A few days later *~*~*
“C-C-Chrissss? Are you su-sure the-that thisss wlols a goo-oooood id-d-d-dea? asked Cody. They were on mount Caradhras and neither Chris or Cody had a jacket or a sweater.
“N-not an-ny-m-more,” replied Chris. They both wrapped their arms around their chests.
“Here,’ Legolas reached into his pack and pulled out two cloaks and handed them to Chris and Cody.
“Ain’t you cold?” asked Chris.
“Elves do not feel the elements as easily as humans do.”
“oh, I forgot.” Chris and Cody pulled on the cloaks, which did not help very much, and continued their ascent up the mountain. The company was met by a blinding snow storm and rocks hurdled down at them and if one listened carefully, they could hear a fell voice on the air.
After a while they paused to rest and contemplate whether or not they should turn back. Boromir and Legolas where trying to light a fire and were not succeeding. Gandalf finally lit it himself with the greatest of ease.
“C-C-Chris?” inquired Cody.
“I’m-m s-still n-not co-conv-vinced.”
“W-w-what e-ever.” When the sow eased off, the fellowship had decided to turn back down the mountain and journey into the dark of Moria.
The fellowship had been battling thousands and thousands of orcs and goblins and one cave troll. They were now running through a giant dwarven hall. Cody and Chris were lagging behind. Suddenly Chris tripped. Cody stopped to help Chris up. Unfortunately, by this time the two were surrounded by goblins. Their weapons were taken from them and their hands were bound.
“Where’s Chris and Cody?!” Pippin realized that the two friends were no longer with them and shouted to be heard above the noise.
“The goblins must have gotten them!” Legolas shouted back. Finally the fellowship made it to the bridge of Khaza-dhum.
Chris closed his eyes and waited for the end. Suddenly he felt the ground shake beneath him. Soon he felt the ground give way beneath him. Soon he and Chris were falling through the air, ploling dwarven contraptions and tunnels until they fell into a blinding white light.
Cody bolted up panting and sweaty.
“Cody are you okay?” asked Chris.
“That was a very strange dream. I dreamed that we were in Middle-Earth with the fellowship. We went to Caradhras and Moria. You and I got captured by orcs.”
“I’m serious!” Cody stretched and rubbed the back of his neck. He felt something that had a woolen feel to it.