The Teletubbies' Adventure in Lothlórien - Or, How the Teletubbies saved Haldir

It was a fine, sunny day, and Po, the youngest and smallest of the Teletubbies was happily traipsing around TeletubbieLand on her favorite toy. Her scooter. Nearby TinkyWinky was skipping along, his cherry red bag hooked over one arm, humming a song happily to himself.

"Ahoh, TinkyWinky!" Po cried happily to the purple Teletubby.

"Ahoh, Po!" TinkyWinky cried, waving back to the red Teletubby, his triangle shaped antenna wiggling joyfully on top of his head.

Further down the trail she was scooting along, Po saw Lala, and Dipsy. Lala was entertaining herself by tossing a massive orange ball, almost as big as herself, high into the sky, and then catching it as it came down again. Dipsy was wearing his favorite hat, a high, wide brimmed, black and white cow patterned hat that was open at the top to accommodate his antenna.

"Ahoh, Lala! Ahoh, Dipsy!" Po chirped, waving to her other friends.

Lala looked up, smiling. But of course, she was always smiling, Po reminded herself. Their facial expressions never really changed from the contented childlike appearance they had been created with.

Nevertheless, Po had always admired Lala. She was sooo yellow. Po had always wished she was yellow. It was so much nicer than stark, glaring red. And Lala's perky curly-que antenna was so much prettier than Po's plain old circle antenna.

"Ahoh, Po!" Lala called out happily.

"Ahoh, Po!" Dipsy, the green, straight antenna bearing Teletubby echoed, as he paused a moment in his chanting of nonsensical words under his breath in time to a dance he was performing for a nonexistent audience.

Po stopped as she reached her two friends, happy to see TinkyWinky still coming along behind her.

They were all in the same vicinity, which meant it was time for another heart warming group hug! Po loved group hugs. Living in TeletubbieLand with no other company but the three other Teletubbies, and the rabbits that hopped everywhere, Po had grown close to her friends, and without the daily line dances and group hugs, as well as the incoming transmissions from the outside world every time the Windmill blew, not to mention the strange phenomena such as dancing bear carrying UFO's and strange artifacts that appeared here and there, only to disappear again without explanation, life would have been terribly boring. There wasn't even any work to do, not with Nu-nu cleaning up after them, everywhere they went.

Po thought warm, grateful thoughts of Nu-Nu, how the self-propelled bug-eyed vacuum seemed to catch every tubbycustard spill, and every tubbytoast crumb before it even hit the floor of their immaculately kept Hobbit-hole like house.

"Big Hug!" Cried TinkyWinky, and the others bringing her back to the present. And she all too willingly, joined the happy group hug, that left everyone snuggly comfy, with warm fuzzies inside.

Just in time, as everything works on a perfect schedule in TeletubbieLand, the Windmill above them started to spin, casting off happy sparkly sparkles. Po clapped her hands with joy, feeling the snuggly warm buzz inside her tummy, which meant another transmission was coming in! What would they be watching today? Happy children helping their mother feed cheerful, good natured chickens? Or could it possibly be enthusiastic children washing their father's car? Oh, the anticipation!

With one hand in Lala's, Po scampered along with her three friends to the top of their regular hill to wait for the show to appear on one of their rounded bellies.

Whose stomach would the show appear on, today? Po wondered to herself. She was always so happy for whichever friend received the honor of getting the show on their tummy, but she always secretly hoped it was herself.

She waited breathlessly as first TinkyWinky's antenna glowed and buzzed, then Dipsy's next, Lala's third, and her own last of all. And-, oh bliss! The warm vibrating fuzzy stayed with her! Po's tummy would bear the happy sight of gleefully playing children today! Oh, she was so happy! She gazed at the upside down view upon her stomach as the others gathered around, and the scene came into view. But-, what was this? No laughing happy children to teach them about the color Orange? No! Standing before her, the other Teletubbies gasped in surprise as angry piggish squeals erupted from the television screen that was Po's stomach. It was hard for Po to see what was going on upside down, but she could have sworn it looked familiar. It looked like-, could it possibly be? The scene from the Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring, in Balin's tomb! Oh my! Po gasped as the door to Balin's tomb smashed in and orcs flooded her screen. Lala sighed, fanning herself with her mittened hands, as Legolas, the one Lala was always gigglingly referring to as "Sooo hot!", displayed the perfect grace of the Elves with his archery prowess. (Po had never understood that, as Tolkien had made it clear that Elves could never get sick with a temperature.) And Dipsy cheered as Aragorn's sword chopped an orc's head right off, but TinkyWinky shrieked, "Es not G rated!" and fainted dead away, spread eagle on the ground.

Po wondered, confused, but not disappointed in the least, why all this was happening, as the Fellowship fled from the Balrog, jumped across the gap in the broken stairs, with Aragorn and Frodo escaping near death, and ran across the Bridge of Kazad-Dûm. Oh, no! This was one of Po's most unfavorite parts of the movie. She covered her eyes with her hands as the old grandpa named Gandalf, hanging halfway over the broken bridge, instructed the rest of the Fellowship to suspend themselves in the air, (she'd never understood that part either) questioned their intelligence, and then proceeded to fall away into the dark abyss.

Dipsy and Lala continued to cheer on the Fellowship with great enthusiasm as the remaining eight finally got out of that yucky cave, and into the sunlight. The Hobbits were terribly sad, though, which made Po sad, because they were her favorite characters. But this part didn't last very long.

TinkyWinky finally woke up just as the Fellowship was walking into the trees of Lothlórien. He sat up, apparently feeling much better now that there were pretty trees to look at, instead of blood spraying everywhere. This was the part where the pretty lady with the long hair, and the even longer name, (Po could never remember her name) started talking to Frodo, and no one else could hear.

Pretty soon the Elves who lived in Lothlórien would appear, and Haldir would make the Fellowship come with them. But that didn't happen. Instead, Po's stomach started to glow brighter and brighter. Strange! This had never happened before! And strangely enough, the picture seemed to lift off of her stomach, and start to grow. An odd buzzing filled Po's ears, and she felt a weird sensation as if she were whirling through space, and falling, and suddenly, with a thump, though it wasn't very painful, she stopped. She found herself upon the ground. Her vision was terribly blurry, but she could make out the shapes of the other Teletubbies sprawled around her as well, sitting up slowly, as she did, their heads wobbling back and forth to show their dizziness, and disorientation.

"Evybuddy okay?" TinkyWinky asked, a hand to his wobbling head. He still had his bag over one arm, though everyone else's favorite toys had disappeared.

"Uh-huh." Dipsy answered.

"Uh-huh." Po said as well, blinking her eyes to clear them of their blurriness. "Lala? Eu okay?"

Lala was sitting up too, gazing at something to her left, but she wasn't answering her fellow Teletubbies.

"Lala?" Queried Dipsy. "Ats wong?"

Still Lala did not answer right away, though a long, prolonged sigh told the other Teletubbies that she was, at least, breathing.

Confound this eye bleariness! Po closed her eyes, and shook her head, and finally, the world came back into focus.

Aha! They were in a forest! In Lothlórien by the looks of things! Po gaped, as did TinkyWinky and Dipsy as all four of them scrambled to their feet. Lothlórien??!! What were they doing here? Most importantly, how did they get here?

She glanced at what Lala seemed to be gazing at so enraptured, and let out a loud gasp. TinkyWinky and Dipsy followed her gaze, and gasped as well.

For there, standing in front of them, real, and as large as life, was the Fellowship.

"Legolas!" Lala sighed, the first audible word she had spoken since the Teletubbies had landed.

"How do these strange creatures know your name?" Aragorn muttered to the Elf who was gaping at Lala, looked positively aghast.

So that's what Legolas looks like, completely dumbstruck. Po nodded happily to herself, and giggled. She'd always wondered.

"We know evybuddy!" Dipsy chirped enthusiastically, having finally overcome his own shock. "Arigun, Egolas, Bormir, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Gimli!" He called, pointing out each one in turn.

"Legolas!" Lala sang merrily, again.

"Is that all you can say?" Pippin asked, addressing Lala.

Lala chirped and giggled, covering her hands over her mouth before she said, "Lala love Legolas!"

"Uhhh," said Legolas, with a frightened look on his face, to which Po laughed out loud.

"What is this new devilry?" Muttered Boromir.

TinkyWinky gasped suddenly at Boromir's words. "Line froma movie!" He squealed, jumping up and down, pointing at Boromir. "Line froma movie!"

"Oh!" Squealed Lala enthusiastically, skipping toward Legolas, who, panicking, stumbled backward, tripped, and fell, very ungracefully, onto his backside. Lala was not subdued whatsoever, by his show of aversion to her, and knelt beside him, cooing sympathetically as she patted his head with her furry, mitteny hands. "Poor Legolas! At's okay. Mary Sue take care of Legolas!"

"Help!" Wailed Legolas. But none of the rest of the Fellowship noticed, their attention being riveted on TinkyWinky's leaping and squealing, and enthusiastic pointing at Boromir as his cherry red bag swung wildly around on his arm, narrowly missing Merry's head.

Dipsy, however, noticed Lala's sudden name change for herself, and he planted his hands on his hips, disgusted, though, of course, his ever smiling face did not betray his sudden change of emotion.

"Hey!" He called, coming to Lala, and standing over where she knelt beside Legolas. "You nota Mary Sue! You Lala!"

"No!" Lala sighed dreamily, looking up at Dipsy. "Lala Mary Sue!"

Po giggled to herself again, for while Lala was looking up at Dipsy, Legolas scrambled frantically away, and hid behind Aragorn, who was still gaping at TinkyWinky as the purple Teletubby continued his leaping and wild squealing, as he pointed at Boromir (who, Po noted, looked about as scared as Legolas, right now).

Dipsy stamped his foot. "You Lala!"

"No!" Lala cried back. "Pretty girl come to Middle Earth, fall in love with Legolas! At's a Mary Sue! Lala sooo pretty!" She complemented herself, and patted her ever smiling face. "Lala Mary Sue!"

"These creatures are as mad as those vegetables we met back in Rivendell." Gimli grunted, as TinkyWinky finally calmed down.

"Legolas no love Lala!" Dipsy stated with finality, folding his arms. "Lala notta elf lady! Lala Teletubby!"

Lala sighed, and though her ever grinning face did not change, a sense of sadness seemed to be falling over her. But Po did not have time to feel bad for her friend, for suddenly around them, stood several Elves from Lothlórien, arrows set to bowstrings. Oh my! She hadn't even heard them coming! Haldir, as in the movie, was the foremost among them.

"'A dwarf breaves so loud, we coulda shotem ina dark!'" TinkyWinky muttered beneath his breath and giggled.

Haldir said nothing to that, but looked with contempt upon TinkyWinky, Po, and the other Teletubbies, before turning to address Aragorn.

"If you wish to move with stealth, you have chosen the wrong traveling companions."

"They're not our traveling companions!" Gimli protested loudly. "They were here when we got here! They're your-," Gimli paused as if looking for the right word, "livestock."

The heads of the Teletubbies swiveled to focus on Gimli. Po wasn't familiar with such a long word as livestock, but she had the vague suspicion that it had something to do with brainless, four legged creatures.

"Ivestock?" Dipsy asked, his hands going to his hips in an authoritative manner. "Ivestock? Dipsy no ivestock! Meany Gimli!"

Dipsy balled his furry mitten hands into fists, and would have punched Gimli, but for Po and TinkyWinky who pounced at the green Teletubby, and pulled him back. Lala though, was gigglingly inching toward Legolas, who in turn, was slowly inching away from her.

Gimli frowned at Dipsy, his hands tightening around the haft of his ax. "You're as annoying as that crazy cucumber!" He shouted at Dipsy as Aragorn and Boromir leaped to restrain him. Aragorn and Boromir held back Gimli as Po and TinkyWinky restrained Dipsy, keeping the two of them from getting into an all out brawl.

Meanwhile, Haldir stepped between the two groups with a satisfied sneer on his face. "What manner of creatures are these-, wild childish things?" He asked. Dipsy relaxed, no longer trying to get at Gimli, but he turned to Haldir with a decidedly upset attitude.

"They um, called themselves uh," Pippin chirped, but he had forgotten the word.

"Tele-, Tele-," Merry offered.

"Teletubbies." Sam finally finished for them, and Merry and Pippin quickly nodded their agreement.

"That's what it was." Pippin nodded. "Heard of `em?"

"No." Haldir stated. "But the Lady of the Wood will wish to see them. Perhaps she knows of their true origin." With a sniff, he addressed the general group of visitors, and stated, "You will follow me."

"Oooh!" Squealed TinkyWinky, clapping his hands excitedly. "Nother line froma movie!"


Po skipped along, picking flowers along the trail that Haldir said would lead at last to the city of Caras Galadhon, happy that she was no longer blindfolded. The Elves of Lórien, had at first, attempted to blindfold all the visitors, but as Po and the rest of the Teletubbies completely lost their sense of equilibrium when blindfolded, Haldir and the other Lórien Elves had finally given up. Without her sight, Po had no sense of balance, and kept careening out of control, crashing into people and knocking them down. Dipsy and TinkyWinky had obviously had the same problem as well from the sounds coming from them, and the poor Elves they crashed into when they had been blindfolded. Lala also had the same problem, but it was uncanny how, even when blindfolded, she just happened to crash, entirely accidentally of course, into Legolas, repeatedly. Finally, in frustration, and partly because of Legolas' pleadings, Haldir had agreed to let everybody see again.

"Caras Galadhon!" Haldir's voice came from ahead of her, and she looked up to see Cerin Amroth towering ahead of her, "Home of the Lord Celeborn, and Galadriel," (that's what her name was!) "Lady of Light!" Haldir said in a reverent tone.

"Ooooh!" Squeaked TinkyWinky, jumping up and down, and clapping again. "Nother line froma movie!"

"Ooooh!" Echoed Lala, and made as if to swoon in a faint at the impressive sight, right in front of Legolas. But Legolas, instead of reaching out and catching her, kept his hands at his sides and stepped back, so that Lala fell with a heavy thump to the ground.


Po found herself oohing and awwing along with her fellow Teletubbies as Haldir led them, along with the Fellowship into the heart of Caras Galadhon. It was as silvery and mystical as she remembered in the movie, and the Mallyrn were even bigger than Redwood trees. She especially came to appreciate this as Haldir led them up a long long set of steps that went around one of the trees, up to where they would meet Gala-, Gala-, the pretty lady with the long hair, and her husband.

Teletubbies, with their natural stoutness and short legs, had not been created with the climbing of steep steps in mind, round and round-, Po panted, round a tree. By the time the got up to the place where they would meet the pretty lady, (Po remembered once that Lala had told her it was called a talan) the Teletubbies were gasping for air, and so weak in the knees, that all four of them collapsed in a heap, moaning with exhaustion, in front of the steps that led up to the thrones of the pretty lady, and her husband. Aragorn cleared his throat, an embarrassed look crossing his face at the pile of moaning Teletubbies in front of him, but Po was too exhausted to notice this.

She could barely lift her head as the pretty lady and her husband started coming down the steps to talk to them. Gala-something's husband, Cele-, Cele-, Cele-something was looking at Po and the rest of the Teletubbies with what appeared to be a mixture of surprise and disapproval on his face. Not at all the serene Lord of Lórien she remembered from the movie. Gala-something's face was, as yet, unreadable as she and Cele-something largely ignored the Teletubbies as they spoke to the Fellowship, pretty much following the lines they had spoken in the movie, commiserating over the loss of Gandalf, and whatnot. But then, at last, she turned her attention onto the Teletubbies, more because the four of them had finally gathered enough strength to stand shakily on their feet, and as they were in front of the Fellowship, it was quite difficult to speak over their heads, and rather distracting to both parties to have huge multicolored creatures of unknown origin standing unsteadily between them, groaning loudly and holding their wobbling heads.

"What is your name, young one?" Gala-something asked Po. (out loud. Po was a bit afraid that she might try communicating via ESP, which made her a bit nervous. Thankfully, she didn't.)

"Um, Po." Po said quietly.

"And how did you arrive in our woods?"

"Um, dunno." She answered shyly.

"Pretty lady, pretty lady!" volunteered Dipsy eagerly, waving his arm, and when Gala-something looked at him, he began eagerly, "Was watchn Po's tummy. N then it went whssshh! Then we went woah!" Dipsy continued, eagerly accompanying his narrative with brisk arm movements, and wild jumping steps, this way and that. "N then we went bump! N then we was here!"

"Ah! I see!" Gala-something said, with the air of a caring, well trained child care provider who had no idea what a child had just communicated, but didn't want to let on. "And what do you call yourselves?"

"Mary Sue!" Lala cried with a shrill giggled, and a flirtatious glance at Legolas who gulped nervously, and ducked once again behind Aragorn. Dipsy, however, elbowed her into silence.

"Teletubbies!" TinkyWinky cried enthusiastically, jumping up and down, and gesturing wildly with his arms, almost hitting Haldir who stood nearby in the head with his cherry red bag. The Elf, however, saw it coming, and ducked in time.

"Mary-Sue-Teletubbies?" She asked.

"No!" Shouted Dipsy angrily, stamping his foot. "Teletubbies! Jus Teletubbies! No Mary Sue! No, no, no!"

"Teletubbies." Gala-something said, as if working over the word in her mouth. "I see." She said slowly in a way that really meant she had no idea.

"For what purpose are you here?" Cele-something asked, a bit more authoritatively.

"My Lord, can you see that they are naught but children?" Gala-something said. "They themselves seem not to understand their purpose here."

Suddenly Po gasped, feeling the strange buzzly fuzzy feeling in her tummy that she felt whenever a transmission was coming in. But where would it be coming from, here in Middle Earth? She wondered.

Her gasp, as well as her glowing antenna and tummy, attracted everyone's attention. Gala-something and her husband Cele-something stared, like gaping, drowning fish, at the glowing screen on her stomach until the picture came into view.

The picture was of the battle at Helm's Deep in the movie The Two Towers, right before Haldir got it. Po had always hated this part. Although, she snickered to herself with pride, her tummy got better reception than Gala-something's sloshy mirror.

TinkyWinky screeched, and clapped his mitten hands over his eyes.

Why oh why, did Peter Jackson have to put this part in? Haldir didn't die in the book!

Haldir groaned at the part where he died. And then the screen went blank.

Haldir looked at Po accusingly, and shouted, "Again, again!"

Po shrugged helplessly. She had nothing to do with it. It was probably the work of the Valar. There weren't any cameras or transmitters in Middle Earth that she was aware of. Besides, she hated watching Haldir die. How morbid of him, to want to watch his own death!

But suddenly her stomach buzzed again, and again the picture came on, showing again, Helm's deep, and the wicked nasty orc plant its ax once again, in Haldir's back.

Haldir flinched, seeing himself die again. And then, as before, the screen went blank.

"Where is this?" Cele-something demanded.

"Hewm's Deep. Wherem horsey people go." TinkyWinky offered helpfully, slowly removing his hands from over his eyes, and tentatively checking Po's stomach to see if there was any more bloodshed going on.

"Helm's Deep?" Haldir repeated, understandably very concerned, now.

"Yup!" Dipsy chirped, still staring enthusiastically at the blank screen, as if hoping to see more of the fighting.

"This has come as a warning from the Valar." Gala-something announced, speaking to Haldir. "This is what will happen if-,"

"If Haldir doesms watchis back!" Screeched TinkyWinky emotionally, waving his arms about, and nearly pegging Cele-something in the head with his bag. Of course, he too, utilizing his Elven reflexes, ducked in time.

"Yes." Gala-something agreed slowly.

"Atabout Bormir?" TinkyWinky then whispered, nudging Dipsy, who did no more than shrug helplessly.

"If I ever find myself in Helm's Deep, I'll watch my back, then." Haldir said with a slow, nervous nod.

"Oh, goodie!" TinkyWinky said, echoed by the other Teletubbies, except for Lala, who now, with the blank screen no longer occupying her attention, had once again started inching, with quiet, chirpy giggles toward Legolas, who again, was nervously inching away.

"Oh, evybuddy, lookie!" Po cried, suddenly feeling her tummy buzzing again. Everyone, especially Haldir, paid rapt attention to the view that came glowingly onto her tummy.

This time, however, the scene was not one from The Lord of the Rings, but was a peaceful, sunny scene with rabbits hopping about between gently rolling grassy hills dotted with colorful flowers.

"TeletubbieLand!" Po and all the other Teletubbies cried in unison.

"This is your home?" Gala-something asked gently.

"Yup!" Dipsy chirped. He would have said more, except that as before, Po's tummy started to glow brighter and brighter. The scene lifted itself off of her tummy, and swallowed the Teletubbies within it. Po felt again the rushing falling sensation, and a sudden, though gentle bump! Lifting her head, she found herself once more in TeletubbieLand, surrounded by her fellow Teletubbies. Dipsy and TinkyWinky scrambled up seeming to be happy to be back, but Lala stayed sitting on the ground, morose.

"Legolas gone!" She wailed as the others jumped ecstatically to their feet.

But hardly had the three happy-to-be-home Teletubbies gotten to their feet, than Po's tummy started to glow again.

"Oh, no! Notigain!" Po moaned.

This time, it once again showed the scene at Helm's Deep where Haldir died. TinkyWinky screeched and slapped his hands over his eyes. Po wanted to also, but decided to watch anyway. But this time, instead of dying, Haldir turned just as the nasty orc tried to ax him in the back, and got the nasty creature instead. He didn't die! He lived in real life!

Po and Dipsy cheered enthusiastically, and TinkyWinky uncovered his eyes to see why. Seeing Haldir still alive, he cheered also, jumping up and down, and clapping his hands, his bag, still over his arm, swinging wildly, pegging Dipsy in the face as he did. But Dipsy was so happy, he simply shook it off, and continued cheering. Their enthusiasm caught on in Lala, and she got up, seeing Haldir still alive, and she cheered up a little bit.

"Ha ha!" Cried Dipsy. "He lived! Dipsy knewit! Take at, PetrJaksn!"

The Teletubbies were all so happy now, even Lala, that they decided to have another happy warm fuzzy group hug.

"Big Hug!" Cried Po, and the rest of the Teletubbies joined in, even Lala as the funky baby sun overhead grinned down on them.

As Teletubbese is about as difficult to understand as Sindarin, I have included translations:


Ahoh! - Salutations!

Big Hug! - Let us reaffirm our friendship by engaging in close, platonic contact.

Sooo hot! - Exceptionally overheated. (Also can mean exceptionally attractive, depending on usage)

"Es not G rated!" - This is not appropriate material for juveniles!

Evybuddy okay? - Are all persons in satisfactory health?

Eu okay? - Are you in satisfactory health?

Uh-huh. - affirmative.

Ats wong? - What ill state has befallen?

We know evybuddy! - We are well acquainted with all persons.

Lala love Legolas! - I (Lala) am overly enamored with Legolas.

Line froma movie! - I recognize this as a line spoken in the movie.

Poor Legolas! - Underprivileged Legolas!

At's okay. - Do not be apprehensive.

Mary Sue take care of Legolas! - I (Mary Sue {Lala}) will administer to Legolas' injuries.

You nota Mary Sue! - You are not identified as Mary Sue!

Lala Mary Sue! - I (Lala) am a Mary Sue!

You Lala! - Your name is Lala!

Pretty girl come to Middle Earth, fall in love with Legolas! At's a Mary Sue! - When a female with unsurpassably beautiful features is mysteriously transported to Middle Earth and falls in love with Legolas, that type of character is popularly known as a Mary Sue.

Lala sooo pretty! - I (Lala) possess unsurpassably beautiful features.

Legolas no love Lala! - Legolas is entirely unenamored with you (Lala).

Lala notta elf lady! Lala Teletubby! - You (Lala) are not of the species of the Eldar. You (Lala) are of the genus, Telius, species, Tubbius.

Dipsy no ivestock! Meany Gimli! - I (Dipsy) am not a brainless four legged beast of burden. You are a cretin, Gimli.

Nother line froma movie! - This is yet another line that I recognize from the movie!

Um, dunno. - I am, at present, not entirely certain.

Was watchn Po's tummy. N then it went whssshh! Then we went woah! N then we went bump! N then we was here! - I have absolutely no idea how we arrived in this Alternate Universe. However, if I leap about and make loud impressive noises, maybe you, being a superior species, and far more intelligent than I am, can figure it out!

Teletubbies! Jus Teletubbies! No Mary Sue! No, no, no! - We are called Teletubbies. Nothing more nothing less. As I have explained before to my obviously confused colleague, our scientific name is Telius Tubbius. There is no Mary Sue in there, anywhere.

Hewm's Deep. Wherem horsey people go. - Helm's Deep. Where, historically, the people of Rohan, known as the Rohirrim, or Horse Lords, have taken refuge in dire times.

Yup! - affirmative (see also, uh-huh.)

If Haldir doesms watchis back! - If Haldir is not conscientious of his own personal safety.

Atabout Bormir? - I am concerned about Boromir. Should we say anything about him?

Oh, goodie! - I am well pleased.

Oh, evybuddy, lookie! - I require all persons to perceive what I am indicating.

Legolas gone! - Legolas is absent.

Oh, no! Notigain! - I am distressed! I perceive that what happened previously, is occuring once again.

Ha ha! He lived! Dipsy knewit! Take at, PetrJaksn! - He (Haldir) has not met his demise. I (Dipsy) am well versed in Tolkien. Unlike Peter Jackson, whom I will mock for his lack of knowledge.

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