Slow Comes the Morning - Chapter Five

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I?d get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I?m not the only person
With these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I?ve got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I though was never real
I want to let go of the pain I?ve felt so long
[erase all the pain till it?s gone, it?s gone]
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like I?m close to something real
I wanna find something I?ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I?ve got nothing to say
I can?t believe I didn?t fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it?s not the way I had imagined it
All in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
Cause I can?t justify the way
Everyone?s looking at me
Nothing to lose
Just stuck hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own
"Somewhere I Belong" By:Linkin Park off the Meteora Album

The long, unchanging path stretched ahead of the small procession as the sun began to rise above the horizon. The small group of travelers consisted of Arwen, Aarynne, Haldir and a handful of other escorts sent by Galadriel, including Rumil and Orophin, Haldir?s brothers. They had traveled no more than a week from Caras Galadhon when they reached the Gladden River, a runoff of the Anduin.
The small river was clear and cool, allowing the thirsty travelers to drink and rest, and the horses to refresh themselves as well.
Aarynne?s steed, a black stallion named Thunderfoot, drank thirstily, then laid himself down next to his owner. His powerful muscles rippled under his coal-black skin as he let himself half-fall down onto the soft terrain beneath, and his silver mane glinted in the setting sun.
Also plopped down beside his master, was Lomion, resting his noble head on Aarynne?s lap.
?Hello, my boys,? Aarynne smiled sweetly at two of her dearest friends, ?Tired are we?? Lomion let out a long sigh in response and nestled his head deeper into Aarynne?s lap.
?Are you hungry Aarynne?? Haldir asked, sitting beside her.
?No, not really, but thank you Haldir.?
?Of course my lady,? He said, stroking Thunderfoot?s back.
The two looked out on the horizon with the sound of the Gladden in front of them, suddenly pensive.
?Listen, Aarynne, I know you don?t particularly want to go home, but the Lady of Light knows more than we can comprehend. I?d trust her if I were you.?
?I?ve never once doubted that she knows what she?s doing, yet, she doesn?t know all my father is. She doesn?t know what he was like, and so, may not be able to make the best judgment,? Aarynne sighed, idly stroking Lomion?s head.
?All you must do is trust, Aarynne?you must learn to trust those you love.?
?Why? Why should I when all trust has earned me is hurt in return? What reason would I have?? Aarynne challenged.
?Aarynne, I know not what plagues your past, but if something you?ve experienced had led you to believe that trust is a harmful thing?then you?ve trusted the wrong people. That is a mistake that many make, but it is not what you always receive,? Haldir paused, breathing out a long sigh as the last of the light disappeared, ?more often than not, you will receive great blessings, and trust in return,? He then stood and set up his mat to sleep, joining the other escorts, and leaving the fire to be tended by the sisters.
Darkness swirled hauntingly in Aarynne?s mind as she slept, nightmares never absent from her slumber. Her vision was filled with the powerful terror that Yassir had created, she could hear her own screams, piercing through the blackness that was her nightly prison, and his rantings as he swaggered drunkenly. She felt each pain, physical and emotional so vividly that she woke, gasping for air, hands trembling.
?Dear Eru, let it end,? She whispered, feeling for Thunderfoot and Lomion for comfort. Instead, she sensed her sister kneel beside her, keeping a distance.
?Are you all right?? She whispered tentatively, keeping her distance hesitantly.
?No,? Aarynne whispered back, feeling Lomion?s thick white fur between her fingers, ?but you need not trouble your mind with it,? she said without looking at Arwen, and laying back down, taking some comfort from the warmth of the animals she called her friends.
Arwen nodded, and laid back down herself on her grassy bed, filling her mind with more pleasant thoughts, and slowly entering into a dreamless sleep.
As the lifeless sun rose in the morning, Aarynne packed her meager possessions in Thunderfoot?s saddle bags and mounted him easily.
?Slow yourself Aarynne,? Arwen gently reprimanded her, ?give us time to eat and pack as well.? Aarynne looked down from Thunderfoot?s back and steadied him as he grew restless.
?I?m going to ride ahead a bit. I won?t get far,? she promised, and with that said, true or not, galloped off with Lomion on her heels.
The terrain ahead of her was flat and monotonous as she felt the rush of the wind blowing on her face. She felt the power of the animal beneath her, and the eagerness of him and Lomion to go faster, to push harder, so, with a small smile on her face, she kicked her heels into Thunderfoot?s ebony sides and raced off into the horizon.
The landscape rushed past the trio, and the gentle breeze turned into a whipping wind, though in a pleasant way. Aarynne felt exhilarated by the force of Thunderfoot?s muscles pulsing beneath her, and the pure freedom of the gallop.
After a good run, she slowed Thunderfoot to a stop and dismounted, rubbing his neck, now slick with sweat.
?Thank you my boy, that felt good didn?t it?? Aarynne laughed as he nibbled at the shoulder of her light blue dress. ?Just rest now boy.?
Lomion had taken his customary position, sitting by her side as she stroked the magnificent black creature, and rested his head against her leg. Moving him gently, Aarynne lay on the soft green grass, staring into the pale morning sky, her heart finding some peace for the first time since leaving Lorien. That peace was broken by the sound of hoof beats in the distance.
?I guess that I just don?t much like people.? She said to Lomion, rising from her grassy bed and scratching his ears, an cynical smile on her face. ?Wouldn?t you say so??
Within minutes, her traveling companions came into view, and Aarynne mounted Thunderfoot, a bit of resentment in her heart, looking ahead, where somewhere, Rivendell lay?the last Homely House.
?How can I call it home?? She asked herself, ?When it brings nothing but fear in my heart? Nay, I have no home.?
?Hm?? Arwen asked, riding up beside the restless trio. ?What did you say?? Aarynne didn?t turn to look at her sister, and silently mulled over whether or not to answer her inquiry. Whether or not it was always a good thing, Aarynne tended to be honest, sometimes brutally so, excepting of course, certain areas of her life.
?I said that I have no home,? she answered finally, pushing Thunderfoot into a walk, Arwen and herself a bit ahead of the others.
?What do you mean?? Arwen asked with a small, uncertain laugh. ?We are going home.? Aarynne shook her head and bit her lip painfully.
?You could never understand.?

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