Gilraen: Giver of Hope - chapter 20

Chapter 20

Gilraen was sitting in the garden feeling very stressed. She had just heard from Elrond that Aragorn (for that is how he would be known) would one day have a great future. Elrond never committed to actual kingship but he said that Aragorn would face many hardships before that time came. How could she raise a boy to become something as wonderful as a king? The heaviness of the task was lying on her heart like a lead stone lies on papers to hold them. She knew that Elrond would be there but as his mother and his only human contact through his growing up years she felt a burden. One day he would not only need to relate as a human but as a gracious king. The thought would have totally overwhelmed her had not Raion come in the garden to rescue her mind from the downward spiral that it was taking.

"My lady seems very distressed. No lies to cover up because I can see the distress on your face from far away."

"Raion what do you think of Estel?"

He looked at her quizzically. She shook her head and tried again.

"I mean do you think I am raising him well?"

"Since when have you been worried about what others think of the way you raise your son?"

"Since I found out some information that sent me into this spiral of insecure thoughts about the way I raise him. I found that there might be more that I need to teach or that maybe raising him among Elves is not the right thing. Oh, I do not even know what I am saying anymore. I do not think I can deal with the news."

"Well maybe if you told me what you are talking about I could actually help; because you are totally confusing me."

She suddenly fell apart in a fountain of tears. "I just don't feel ready or the right person to do the task that I have appointed to do!" She squeaked this out between gulps of air.

Raion took her in his arm and ran his fingers through her hair to help calm her down. She finally spoke softly to him, "I can not tell you the news but let me tell you it is very significant to me. I don't know if I can do the job that Iluvatar has appointed me to do."

"Well I know that Iluvatar never makes a mistake, and you are much stronger and smarter than you feel at this moment. He also gives us the wisdom to do those tasks he appoints to us. All you have to do ask and he will willingly give you what you need to fulfill the task. I believe he already gave you a wonderful resource in Elrond. There is no wiser or loving person to raise your son than him."
Gilraen blew her nose and reached for Raion's hand. She looked into his eyes. He could tell she was feeling calmer now.

"I have you too, right?"

"You always will have me."

She felt as if a big warm blanket was wrapped around her heart and she felt perfectly safe resting in his arms. She said a silent prayer to Iluvatar asking him for wisdom and thanking him for those who were put there by him to help her. The spiraling hole of despair that she felt had been swallowing her was covered. She mentally walked right over that hole and felt a new confidence that had not been there before.

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