Gilraen:Giver of Hope - Chapter 18
Sermë was walking in the garden, with her ada by her side, a few days later. Just as Elrond had predicted, her sight cleared up by the next morning. They were enjoying the lovely and rare purple roses when Sermë looked down the path to the yellow daisies growing just down the path a few feet.
She stopped and stared as if in a far away place. Raion looked to where she was staring and wondered why she looked so struck by some yellow daisies. He roused her from her trance and asked her why she was staring so intently at those flowers. A tear trickled down her cheek and she just shook her head as if to say no not now. Raion let it drop for now but her wanted to find out later. They finished their walk and went back to her room so she could have some rest.
Estel and Gilraen were in the garden also at this time, though they were in another area. Estel came upon the yellow daisies and thought they were a beautiful flower. "Mamma do you think I can pick some flowers for Sermë?"
"I really don't see a problem, but we better ask Queen Aseaiel first."
They went to go find the queen and she was in her writing room composing a letter to her friend Galadriel. They seldom were able to visit but they did keep in touch when it was possible. Legolas was planning to go to Lothlorien with the sons of Elrond in a few weeks. She stopped writing when Estel timidly knocked on her door.
Estel thought her voice had a musical sound and he felt like he could listen to her speaking all day. He came in shyly and crept up to her and asked ever so softly. " Queen Aseaiel may I pick some flowers from your garden for Sermë?"
" Well I think that is a splendid idea," she said, "Which ones were you thinking of picking."
"I liked the yellow daisies. They remind me of the sun."
"You know I think so, too. May I come with you and get myself some, also?"
Estel giggled a little and said, "Yes, they are your flowers after all."
So hand in hand they went to get the flowers. They made a stop at the gardeners shed to get some shears. They picked a very nice handful and Estel thanked Aseaiel for the chance to pick the flowers. Then he raced, with Gilraen close behind, to Sermë's room and burst in scaring her because the door banged against the wall.
"Oh Estel you scared me!" she cried incredulously.
"I am sorry," he said sheepishly, "But I brought you a present." he held out the flowers for her. She looked at them and started to cry softly.
"Sermë please don't cry. I brought them to make you happy."
"Oh they do," she said and cried harder. Raion was very confused and Gilraen did not know what to do, but Estel sat beside her and held her until she was done crying. Her tears stopped, and she blew her nose. Then she looked at her father and said, "I guess I need to tell you why Daisies make me cry."
"Well, I sure am curious and it is starting to concern me."
"I saw nana."
"I saw nana when I was sleeping. I did not remember when I first woke up but seeing the daisies started to bring it back to me. I was in field of daisies and she came to me as an angel of light. At first she was so bright I could not look at her. The closer she got to me the more I was able to look upon her. I hugged her and did not want to let go. We played in the flower field and talked by a stream that was crystal clear and the water was so cold it froze my fingers when I touched it. Everything was so perfect. I felt no sadness and I was not even feeling the need to come back here. I knew ada that I would miss you, but that was not even a care to me there. I was with nana and I have missed her so much. I felt right there. I wanted to stay forever."
Tears were running down her face as she remembered her time in that peaceful place. She looked at her ada and realized he was crying also.
I am sorry, ada. I do not mean to hurt you but if you could have seen this place and been with nana you would understand."
" I think I do know," He said quietly. Gilraen thought about such a place where she could be with Arathorn, and she thought she would never come back, even for Estel, if she had the chance.
Sermë kept telling her story. "We were standing in the field of yellow daisies when she said that she had to go. I told her no and grabbed her around the waist. She held me for a little while and then she pushed me away." Sermë started crying uncontrollably and she had to take deep gulps of air so she could finish. Raion took her on his lap as she finished her story. Everyone was crying now, but Sermë controlled herself enough to finish the story.
"Nana, why do you leave me again? Then nana knelt in front of me and said `Mandos says it is not your time child. I was allowed to come here to be with you but I must go back to my home now.' ` Nana I want to come with you and never leave you again.' `Someday my sweet one but now is not the time.' She gave me one more hug and she walked away leaving me in the field. I felt such sadness, and dispair. The beautiful field turned to a dark place, and I did not know where to go. I was lost and alone. Then I heard Estel calling me. I followed that sound. He was calling and then it sounded like he was talking to someone. When I woke up, I did not remember until we were in the gardens.Now, I wish I did not remember."
Estel touched her arm and said, "I can't imagine leaving your nana, but I am glad you are here."
Sermë smiled and said, "I am glad I am here, but I just wish I never remembered." She sighed right before saying, "I am tired and I want to rest now."