Gilraen: Giver of Hope - Chapter 13
Gilraen stiffly climbed off the horse and gave the reigns to Elrond, so he could take the horses for water at the nearby stream. She was not used to riding so much in a day. "I have grown soft in Rivendel," She thought to herself. It was nothing for her to ride a day or two when she was younger, and even after she was married she would go on day trips with Arathorn as he made his rounds to the villages that were under his care. Five years sticking around one place and only riding on short trips made her unused to such a trip as this.
She went to help the children get their packs off of the horses. As she was busy her mind was alert and her eyes were always looking around. Even though the trip had been uneventful thus far she was still very worried about attacks., a The closer they got the more she felt jittery. She felt doom was ahead and she was sure an attack would come out of nowhere. She knew the guard was close at hand, even though they could not see them, so she tried to rest in the fact that they were near.
She was so intent on her surroundings though that she did not hear Estel come up behind her and when he touched her arm she jumped and let out a scream. Everyone looked at her and she felt her face grow red with embarrassment. "Sorry sweetheart you startled me. Can I do something for you?"
" I was just going to let you know that Sermë and I are going to pick berries over there in the bushes. We thought it would be a great snack."
" Ok just stay there and don't go any farther."
As the children left, Gilraen got busy getting the stuff together to make supper for the group. Elladan brought her some firewood, and then went to go help Elrohir and Raion set up the tents. Gilraen casually looked up and her eyes automatically landed on Raion as he worked. She found herself picking him out in a crowd quite often lately. She watched him as he drove the stakes into the ground for the tents and her mind thought of how wonderful he looked as his muscles rippled with each pound of the hammer. She remembered how those arms felt as he had hugged her in their brief encounter two weeks ago. She had noticed then how well muscled he was even though it did not show on the outside. Arathorn had large arms, and legs like tree trunks. Raion was different and she liked that difference.
Suddenly she blinked and mentally smacked her head. Why was thinking these thoughts? Lately she had felt terribly lonely at night and had thoughts of Arathorn that would turn to Raion and she felt terribly guilty. Her thoughts would go quickly from Arathorns arms wrapped around her to Raion's arms around her.
"Why am I thinking about Raion in such ways?" she wondered
"Maybe you are wishing it was Raion who was holding a you and not Arathorn."
"What how can you say that? I loved Arathorn with all my heart."
"Yes, but he is gone and Raion is here now."
"Why should I not think of Raion?" She thought defiantly. "I am entitled to some happiness."
"How can you speak of Happiness with him? He is an elf you are just a human."
"But I feel so lonely."
"So lonely you are willing to forget your husband and try to ruin another life by making this elf love you and thus becoming mortal?"
"No I must forget these thoughts and concentrate my life on Estel. Plus I am sure that Raion does not feel this way. I am only having a schoolgirl crush on him. I am older and I can control my thoughts."
So saying she got back to work making supper. Just as she got the fire going, she heard Estel scream.