Crying Heart - a songfic

Here's a slightly different story from my usual turnout, a little Aragor Angst with some lyrics from the song "Roxanne" from the movie Moulin Rouge, which if you haven't seen you should see right now!Hopefully bad spelling and grammer are not present!As always a thank you to my friend Livi is in order, she said that this is my best story yet, but I'll let you decide that yourselves. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer:LOTR doesn't belong to me!Moulin Rouge is't mine either!If they were Satine and Boromir would both be alive and David Wenham wouldn't be wearing lipstick as Audrey in Moulin Rouge!

Crying Heart

She looks so beautiful, she's an angel standing there in her white dress. Her waterfall of blond hair is trailing down her back. Her sweet lips in a smile.

But I'm not the one she's smiling at, and that pains me so.

I love her, but I realised too late. I knew it when I saw her lying in the Houses Of Healing I knew that I had to save her, I could not lose her. I wanted to simply hold her and never let her leave me. But then I had to leave for The Black Gate, I had no time to tell her. When I returned I was full of relief that I was alive and I could begin a life with the one that I loved more than anyone But it was not so, she already had pledged her heart to another. Faramir.

He is the one she smiles at. He holds her hand, speaking his wedding vows. His eyes are locked on hers, his hand holding hers. He finishes his vows and kisses her hand lightly. Unshed tears come to my eyes.

His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin
It's more than I can stand

I did tell her. I came to her in The Houses Of Healing after my coronation.I could remember it perfectly.

*two months before*
Eowyn had been standing at the window, her arm fully healed. I could not have imagined her any more beautiful.
"My lady?" I said softly.
She turned and a small smile came upon her lips. She bowed her head.
"My lord Aragorn." She greeted obediantly.
"Please don't bow Eowyn, not you." I pleaded. I walked up to her and took her hand. "I have something to tell you"
"What is it, is something wrong?" She was worried, I could tell.
I grinned at her, constantly thinking about how much I loved her, how good our life together would be.
"Nothing is wrong my lady. I just have something that I need to tell you. I've been thinking about it since I first saw you, but I've only just truely realised it. Eowyn, lady of Rohan, lady of my heart, I love you."
I expected her to smile her sweet smile at me, and I would kiss her and ask her to be my wife and my queen for I wouldn't want her to get away from me, but she pulled her hand out of mine and turned her head away.
"Oh Aragorn" She said quietly "I'm so sorry."
"Why?" I asked desperatly.
"Maybe if you had told me at Dunharrow, or before then, at Helm's Deep it would be different. But I can't Aragorn, I can't" She said.
"What are you saying?" I asked. We had to be together, I could not live any other way. I had planned our life together, a happy life. We would be so happy, and we would have children and raise them in a world of love and joy. I love her so much and yet she was turning away from me, why?
I turned and there in the doorway was Faramir. He had looked confused.
"My lady? My King? Is something wrong?" He walked up to us, taking hold of Eowyn's hand.
"I was about to tell Aragorn," Began Eowyn, "about our plans to marry."
I was broken inside then. I forced a smile onto my face.
" plan to marry?" I asked, but it was hard.
Faramir smiled brightly.
"Yes. It is so wonderful, I have just asked Eomer King and he gives his consent." Faramir said, his hand raised then and he wrapped his arm around Eowyn's shoulder.
Eowyn looked at me sadly.
"I hoped that you would be happy for me, my lord" She said.
I had to widen the painful smile that was on my face.
"Of course I am happy for you, for both of you. And be comforted in that I will always be a true friend to you both" I hated lying like that to Faramir's smiling face. He was happy and had finally found love in his life and so I was glad for him, but it was my love that he was taking.

Eowyn had come to me later that evening, telling me that she was sorry, that even though I loved her so much, I would have let go of my feelings for her and be with Arwen. I agreed, because I could deny her nothing.

I can hardly control what I feel. I have married Arwen now, but it will always be Eowyn that I love. I feel as though my heart is crying tears of blood for what I feel.

Why does my heart cry?
Feelings I can't fight!
You're free to leave me,
but just don't decieve me!
And please, believe me when I say I love you!

They have been proclaimed man and wife now, Faramir taking her into a deep kiss. How can I sit here while the woman I love is marrying someone else? How will I handle it when they have children, blond haired blue eyed children, the exact doubles of their parents? How will I bear it when I see them smiling, kissing and living out their lives in love?

How can I live with this crying heart?


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