I Yene- The Year - This is my First Quenya poem. Corrections and critisisims(sp?) are greatly appreaciated.

~ This is my First Quenya poem. Corrections and critisisims(sp?) are greatly appreaciated.~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Yene

Lintulinda eve Tuile,
Eve vinya lote,
Eve i Adrdo coire!
A,lin eve Larie,
Eve mir* eleni,
Eve lissi are!
A,Linde,lin eve Yavie,
Eve lassi laurea,
Eve man mereth!
Lin, lin eve Hrive,
Eve telpe isil kal esse i lossen undome,
Eve i yeno met!


Translation:

The Year

Swiftly sing of Spring,
Of new blossoms,
Of the World's awakening!
O, sing of Summer,
Of glittering*stars.
Of sweet sunlight!
O Singer, sing of Fall,
Of golden leaves,
Of great feasts!
Sing, Sing of Winter,
Of silver moonlight shining on the snowy twilight,
Of the year's end!

* Tin means glittering, but if you wanted to say
glittering in a
jewel-like way, you would say mir.


~What do you think? I am not sure that the sentence
structure is right.
Again, thanks for any constructive critisism, (Sp?), and any Quenya knowledge you might share with me.~


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