All Stars Fade - "Into the West" re-written

The night I saw Return of the King, "Into the West" got stuck in my head. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know most of the words, and I started subconsciously making up new ones. I realized that the words I was making for the tune fit Aragorn's words to Arwen at Rivendell--he wants her to leave Middle-earth now and take the ships to the Undying Lands instead of staying for him and dying like Lúthien. I eventually rewrote the entire song, although I tried to keep the meter right so it can still be sung to the same tune (I've tried; it does work).

Cast off
The sorrows of this world
Night is coming
You may yet escape this end
Go now
And follow the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

I see you weep
I see the tears upon your face
Soon you will see
All of our hope will pass away

Still by my side
You are yet waiting

How can you wait
On this horizon?
Why do you stay for me?

Upon these shores
Will fade the Evening
The ships still come
To carry you home

Here every good shall be unmade
In dark shadows coming
All stars fade

Hope flees
As in the world of night
The shadows falling
Cover holiness and light

Don't sleep
You must come not to this end
The ships are waiting
Let them take you to your land

Yet you are here by my side
Still waiting

How can you stay
On this horizon?
Why do you wait for me?

Upon these shores
Will fade the Evening
The ships still come
To carry you home

Here every good shall be unmade
In dark shadows coming
All lights fade
Into the night

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