A stupid, silly, dumb, repetitive song. - Tiptoe through the [insert name here]. A spoof of a spoof.

A stupid, silly, dumb, repetitive song. Frodo sang this repeatedly all the way to Mordor. At last: the REAL reason Frodo and Sam were forced to leave the Fellowship!

Tiptoe, through the Shire, through the Shire,
to the Elven hideout
tiptoe, through the Shire, with me.
I'm dreaming of a Black Rider,
just like the ones we have at home,
with a nose of choice,
a shrieking voice,
and sniffing like a dog with a bone. Eek!

Tiptoe, through the Forest, through the Forest,
down the Withywindle,
tiptoe, through the Forest, with me.
I'm dreaming of a dark barrow,
Just like the one I have at home,
With a golden crown,
a ghostly gown,
And Bombadil singing Hey merry do! Help!

Tiptoe, through the Bree-town, through the Bree-town,
to the Prancing Pony
Tiptoe, through the Bree-town, with me.
I'm dreaming of a tall stranger,
Just like the ones we get at home,
With a broken sword,
Barely a word,
And showing us the way to go. March!

Tiptoe, through the marshes, through the marshes,
with the neeker-breekers
Tiptoe, through the marshes, with me.
I'm dreaming of a midge biting,
just like the ones we have at home,
with a grating drone,
bite to the bone,
and never-ceasing neek! breek! drone. Grr...

Tiptoe, o'er Weathertop, o'er Weathertop,
up ol' Amon Sul
Tiptoe, o'er Weathertop, with me.
I'm dreaming of nice, crispy bacon,
And then a Nazgul by my side,
An evil shade
With a sharpened blade,
Then said knife buried in my side. Aaargh!

Tiptoe, o'er Bruinen, o'er Bruinen
where the fish are biting
Tiptoe, o'er Bruinen, with me.
I'm dreaming of a wall of water,
the biggest wave you've ever seen,
The Nazgul confound,
Their horses drowned,
Then soap bubbles obscure the screen. Jeez ...

Tiptoe, through Rivendell, through Rivendell,
to Elrond's council
Tiptoe, through Rivendell, with me.
I'm dreaming of a Fellowship,
Nine members: three, my hobbit kin,
An elf, a dwarf,
Two men (of course),
And I just said I'd bear the Ring. Oops.

Tiptoe, o'er Caradhras, o'er Caradhras,
o'er the blizzard mountain,
Tiptoe, o'er Caradhras, with me.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know,
With the snowdrifts deep,
the pathway steep,
and Legolas running ON snow. Wheee!

Tiptoe, through Moria, through Moria,
to the tomb of Balin
Tiptoe, through Moria, with me.
I'm dreaming of a huge cave troll,
the biggest one you've ever seen,
With a huge great club,
a chain to lob,
And more orcs than I've ever seen. Aaah!

Tiptoe, o'er the thin bridge, o'er the thin bridge,
to escape the Balrog,
Tiptoe, o'er the thin bridge, with me.
I'm dreaming of a deep chasm,
the drop so deep, the ledge so high,
In Balrog hell
Poor Gandalf fell,
I'll ne'er forget his final cry: "I can't fly, you fools!"

Tiptoe, through Lorien, through Lorien,
to see Galadriel,
Tiptoe, through Lorien, with me.
I'm dreaming of a clear mirror,
A birdbath with stone base and sides,
With a pillaged Shire,
Frodo, asleep, or ...?
And awful prophecies inside. Ooh...

Tiptoe, down the River, down the River,
To the falls of Rauros
Tiptoe, down the River, with me.
I'm dreaming of poor Boromir
Attacked by him, then he was slain,
Now me and Sam must go
To Mordor on our own
Don't expect we'll see our friends again ... sob ...

*stands on crate* Thankyou! Thankyou!

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