A Rap Song 'bout the Hobbits in Bree - A funny rap-style poem writen by *Lady_Greenleaf


The hobbits all sitting at a table at the Prancing Pony.
It's a dark rainy night
When the hobbits head for the Prancing Pony in Bree,
Each having a great thirst
But craving beer, not tea!

The hobbits sat down at a table
And it wasn't long,
Before they began ordering drinks
And they drank 'til dawn.

As Froro was 'drinkin,
He noticed something strange.
A man in the corner was watching him,
And he looked somewhat deranged.

Curious of who he was
And why he was a-starin',
Frodo began to question one of the 'Big Folk',
And for a hobbit, this was quite darin'.

"My name be Frodo,
And I'll make this quick.
Who be that dude over there?
His gaze is makin' me sick!"

"Ya' mean that shadowy guy?"
Said Butterbur with a start.
"'Round here, he's known as Strider, and I daresay!
You wouldn't be interested,
'Cause unlike you, he ain't gay!"

"You be dissin' me man?
Ow! That hurt bad!
Do not say such things,
'Cause it's making me sad!"

"Sorry little master,
But I only speak 'da truth.
So ya wanna know that dude's name?
The one in the dark, shadowy booth?"

"Yup right over there,
Yeah thats the guy.
Wait, if you'd hold on a moment,
The rings making me feel high..."

Frodo's eyes do this boogely thing,
And Butterbur's eyes go wide,
He looks alot like he's possessed,
And the old bar-tender want to hide.

Sam notices whats wrong
And yells with great fear,
"Mr.Frodo! Mr.Frodo! Put away the ring!
It's making you look queer!"

"Oh do be quite, Sam!
Dont say such things to me!
I put away the dang Ring,
Can't you see?"

Things are going pretty well
'Til it's Frodo's name Pippins a-callin'.
Froro trys to stop him from sayin' more,
But stupidly ends up fallin'.

Frodo lies upon the ground,
Beneath the 'Big Folk' standing tall.
Ironically 'da ring lands on his finger
And the Ringwraiths come, answering the Ring's call.

He passes into the Shadow World,
Where strangeness is all around.
Above him looms the firery eye
Starring at Frodo, helpless on the ground.

"Baggins! Baggins! I see you!
Don't you try'n hide!
You be a loser hobbit dude!
To my will you gotta' abide!"

To escape this funky scene,
He yanks off da' ring and yelps like a girl.
Re-appearing on da' ground,
He feels like he's gonna hurl.

"What da' heck was that?
Wuz-wit da' freaky eye?
I dont get why its so big..."
Leaning back, Frodo heaved a sigh.


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