The Diary of the Dark Lord

Sauron&#8217;s diary entry:<br /> The mouth of Sauron is annoying me again. He keeps playing Twenty Questions. Curses. Being a big eye is really unpleasant.<br /> Sincerely, <br /> The annoyed and ever-so-slightly bored Dark Lord<br /> <br /> Sauron&#8217;s diary entry:<br /> Dang it! I just can&#8217;t get enough flipping eye drops out of these little containers!!! Do you know what it&#8217;s like to be a great eye, wreathed in flame?!!! DO YOU?!!!!<br /> Sincerely,<br /> The very ticked off Dark Lord<br /> <br /> Sauron&#8217;s diary entry:<br /> At about five am, I started wondering why the Ringwraiths haven&#8217;t gotten back home yet. I mean, they ARE the ruling lords of scariness and all. Can a simple mission to find a plucky hobbit be THAT difficult? It is now three pm, and still no answer has come to me.<br /> Sincerely,<br /> The confused Dark Lord<br /> <br /> Sauron&#8217;s diary entry:<br /> Have a strange feeling that I should put more guards around Mount Doom to make sure no one takes my ring in there and destroys it&#8230; Ah, the feeling is past. Stupid gift of foresight anyway.<br /> Sincerely,<br /> The normal feeling Dark Lord<br /> <br /> Sauron&#8217;s diary entry:<br /> Dear diary: Do you think that being a giant eye is a turn off? I&#8217;m only asking because today I winked at this orc chick today and she just sort of made a face at me and walked away&#8230;<br /> Sincerely,<br /> The rejected and slightly offended Dark Lord<br /> <br /> Sauron&#8217;s diary entry:<br /> Found out today that Ringwraiths can&#8217;t swim.<br /> Sincerely,<br /> The thoroughly exasperated Dark Lord<br /> <br /> Sauron&#8217;s diary entry:<br /> I got really bored today and resorted to mumbling at a stupid, lost looking hobbit in Rivendell. It always cracks me up when they look and scared and stuff.<br /> Sincerely,<br /> The highly amused Dark Lord<br /> <br /> <br /> TO BE CONTINUED...
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