Everyone is a Tolkien critic!! - What are your qualifications?

I thought of this, as over the almost two years I have been at TORC.. and coming to Books, other authors, we as a group SEEM to have this writing style that indicates that since we have read a lot of fantasy work that makes us some sort of viable critic for huge bodies of penmanship.

Some discussions positively get into heated debates about the personal likes or dislikes of others reading choices. Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself and what I read. It is subjective, don't you think? I liked Green Eggs and Ham and you Liked the Little Engine that Could in preschool...

My qualifications...

Well, I remember reading Born Free... you know, the story of Elsa the lioness? I thought to myself, anyone who doesn't read this book, well they are just plain ignorant and will be that way most of their lives. What a great book. I was fourteen at the time and most of my peers were reading Archie and Richie Rich comic books still. I wanted to raise the status of my little group, reach out for loftier reading goals and dagnabit, lets get SMART!! That alone gives me a degree in critiquing

But then I read Romeo and Juliet.. well, I SOARED to new critical heights then. "I" had read Shakespeare, can't touch me.. I envisioned myself on those long summer eves in the Nevada desert with my long long brown hair hanging over a balcony...Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo... of course, that was the name of our cat.. He wasn't impressed. And neither were the friends around me thinking, WHAT A SAP... (it WAS the sixties after all. )

THEN came the crowning achievement of doing time in my teens, The Hobbit. I crashed and burned. Of all the books I had read, mostly classic pieces, THIS was RUBBISH, a kids story to be read by a dim nightlight while the wee ones chugged off on fairytale dreams into the night. I was tenacious however, my big brother, who was in Viet Nam for pities sake, HE loved it. Geesh, going to war must really warp your brain, I am thinking. Reducing one to the educated equivalent of a slug. But again, I did my best. Got to Spiders and Flies and THAT WAS IT!!!! PAH... no literary writer to be found HERE...because...after all, I KNOW my literary works and I can tell SUPERIOR writing from the offal gathering dust on the library bookshelves.

Next book of note, Dune..Frank Herbert. Now, THERE was a writer, I thought to myself, devouring the first three books quickly. How deep can you get? I mean creating a complete new UNIVERSE with religion, drugs and guys in skimpy outfits. Once again, I was on my stump, thumping my tattered copy of Dune to the by now, loyal and devout. I seem to recall I had two friends then. (come ON, I was all of seventeen.)

Time marches on and brother Jim returned from the war. I, of course, gave him at least ten minutes on how I felt so sorry for him that he could mentally stoop to the level of actually enjoying the scripted childs play of Tolkien. All the while he sat there and laughed. No mean trick from a brother who would rather have stuck my head under the showerhead. He then produced three more books. The Lord of the Rings. I was aghast. You mean this writer had the temerity to actually embarrass himself by penning MORE of this kindergarten fodder? Brother Jim was persuasive and I ended up reading LotR's in a month and of course became a devotee immediately and I have been singing the praises of Tolkien from that time forward.

So you see, having come through the fires of critic hell and been born again on the other side, I am totally qualified to give my esteemed opinion on any body of work I have read. If you don't believe me, just ask me.

So what are YOUR qualifications??? Hmmmmmmmmmm?

Note: all comments made in this article by the creator are for entertainment value only and she was entertained.. This is supposed to be for fun, so before you Sunday morning quarterbacks start the rant on why we are so qualified and/or offended by this, relax and hopefully you enjoying reading something totally silly.

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