NewsWire: Why can't they just lose the ring in the sink? - Dave Barry
Thanks to Jerboa and Kevin N. for the links to this humourous (and tongue-in-cheek look at TTT!
Why can't they just lose the ring in the sink?
by Dave Barry
The Miami Herald - January 26, 2003
I finally saw the new Lord of the Rings movie, which is entitled Lord of the Rings II: A LOT More Stuff Happens. It's a tad on the long side (three days) but I am not complaining. My eyeballs were literally riveted to the screen, by literal rivets, from the moment I sat down until the moment I lost all sensation in my lower body.
Yes, this is a classic movie, the kind that makes you laugh; makes you cry; makes you wonder, over and over, if this would be a good time to go to the bathroom. Above all, it's a movie that makes you think about the issues raised by the plot, the main issue being: What the heck IS the plot?
I say this because it's a very complicated story, with numerous subplots and something like 11,000 major characters, most of whom have hard-to-remember names like ''Flagodirt'' or ''Grempkin.'' So today, as a service to all of you who were confused by this great movie, I present the following:
SIMPLIFIED SCREENPLAY FOR LORD OF THE RINGS II
Click the link below to read the entire article!