'Return of the King' Oscar-worthy? That'll be the day - Seattle Post

'Return of the King' Oscar-worthy? That'll be the day
seattlepi.com - February 26, 2004

Sacrilege. Heresy. Madness.

That is what I'll likely be accused of for not cheering on "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" this Oscar Sunday.

Oh, I expect it to take home a good number of awards -- its 11 nominations are the most of any film this year. I just don't think it deserves to.

Why? Because "Return of the King" committed three crimes: It was boring, it was predictable and it was redundant.

I haven't read the Tolkien classics, so I'm not commenting on their translation to the big screen -- just the last one's stand-alone cinematic merit.

And, please, dear "Ring" fans, know that I enjoyed the first two film chapters of the Tolkien trilogy. I thought they were masterfully crafted, well-paced and absorbing explorations of the great struggle between good and evil in Middle-earth.

But "Return of the King"? Audiences made it a blockbuster of blockbusters. Critics have lauded it breathlessly: "A crowning moment in cinema history," "Possibly the most rewarding movie event ever."

The ensemble cast's performances were good for the most part, with the notable exception of Liv Tyler, whose acting consists of keeping her mouth half-agape, like a fish, and opening her eyes doe-wide.

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